Light of Day
by avonlea2
Summary: Post-Breaking Dawn: How will Bella and Edward live out their "Happily Ever After"? A very romantic, in-character exploration of their love now that their relationship is free to thrive and flourish in the light of day.
1. Chapter 1: Not Antarctica

Chapter One: Not Antarctica

June 21st

It was beautiful. I thought it had been beautiful _before_, the few times in my life when I had awakened early enough to see it. But the sight of that orb-- not just orange but a whole spectrum of colors that my new eyes allowed me to see-- making its magnificent ascent through the hazy atmosphere, was almost baffling. I was mesmerized.

_First day of summer_, I thought to myself fleetingly. Earliest sunrise all year. As I stared out the bedroom window, I allowed my thoughts to flow randomly of their own accord. Even in a peaceful moment like this, there was so much to see, so much to take in. And my mind was capable of thinking of so many things at once. But it wasn't at all exhausting. It was just... normal now. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Barefooted, standing perfectly still and clad only in a short silk robe, I let my body bask for a while in the first few rays of the summer solstice. The new season light felt so comforting, almost caressing, along my exposed legs. It hypnotized me as its warmth inched its way up my calves, to my lower back and slowly up my spine. How had I never noticed this-- sunlight's tingling effect-- _before?_

Unconsciously, I let out a small moan. And suddenly, my ear tingled from the sensation of something even nicer than sunlight: Edward's lips.

His hands inched around the sash of my robe and came to rest at my waist, his nose buried in my neck. "I'm sorry to disturb your reverie," he whispered. The feel of his breath on my skin, and his unclothed body pressed against my back, shot a current through me. "But you looked so beautiful standing there, lost in thought, and twinkling in the morning sunlight. I just couldn't resist." He placed a soft kiss on my neck.

I inhaled deeply and felt a smile tug up the corners of my mouth. "Mmm," I moaned approvingly in response to his touch. I allowed one hand to lift up behind me and cradle his neck with my palm. "Don't ever apologize for touching me."

I felt Edward's smile against my neck. "Mmm, thank you for forgiving me," he whispered. And he deepened his kiss on my neck, trailing his lips across the top of my shoulder and sliding my robe out of the way with his soft, long fingers.

Never removing his lips from my body, Edward slowly turned me around, kissing along my decolletage, up the front of my neck, and finally to my lips. I sighed into the kiss eagerly and tenderly, pressing my body close to his. I allowed my lips to mold to his soft, wet mouth and threaded my fingers into his hair, just sinking into Edward. I could do this forever.

Edward pulled back to stare into my eyes and, holding my gaze, used his fingers to slowly untie my robe. It fell to the floor noiselessly, soft and billowy around my ankles. "I hope you'll forgive me for that, as well," he breathed huskily. "It is utterly indecent for you to wear so much clothing."

And with that remark, there would be no further talking. I hastened Edward back to me, pressing my now nude body into him forcefully, and drawing his lips to mine with a need stronger than any thirst. Edward let out a stifled, urgent sound and swept me off my feet, literally, carrying me bridal-style to the bed.

As gently as if I were a priceless, extremely breakable piece of art, Edward laid me on top of the soft mattress. He stared at me for a moment, allowing his eyes to roam up and down my body and finally rest on my face, with the most awed expression. His golden eyes were wide and sparkling, and his perfect lips were parted. He almost looked... reverent. He was so beautiful. I was aching for him.

Finally, Edward slowly lowered himself on top of me, allowing each section of our bodies to make contact one at a time. It started with our feet and our legs; then our torsos; and finally our chests. My body now a live wire, I almost gasped each time I felt a new sensation. At last, we engaged in a deep and hungry kiss, our tongues seeking active contact. And then we were one.

I eagerly ran my hands over Edward's sculpted chest and strong back, as he breathed in my scent and lathed his tongue over my breasts. We moved in time to each other, listening to the other's body and communicating through our locked gaze. I was so attuned to Edward's every breath, his every facial expression, and his every almost-silent utterance, that we had developed our own language and rarely felt the need to speak during these moments. Edward communicated everything he needed to through his body and his eyes, and I hoped that my body reciprocated.

When I felt my physical need and my emotional love for him reaching its height, Edward's eyes darkened and his body reacted in accordance. Fireworks exploded from deep within my center, radiating their sparks out to my fingers and toes. And in that moment, something other than my brain took over and forced my mouth to exclaim, "Edward!!"

More pleasurable than even what I had just experienced was to see Edward's reaction to this vocalization that broke the silence-- his name rolling off my tongue during the height of my ecstasy. His body hardened and convulsed in waves of pleasure, seeking the deepest possible contact with mine. It was so intense that I thought I would topple over the mountain again.

But slowly, the tension waned for both of us, and Edward allowed his strong arms to rest against the bed on either side of me. He leaned over me softly and nudged my nose with his before sealing the moment with one soft kiss.

Edward collapsed onto the bed next to me and immediately scooped me up into his embrace, tangling his fingers in my hair as I appreciated the beauty of his chest.

We were silent for several moments before Edward finally broke it. "What were you thinking about before, when you were staring out the window?"

I still hadn't mastered keeping my mental shield down, especially in moments when I was lost in thought. So Edward's favorite question, _"What are you thinking?"_ was still very much a part of our life together.

"Lots of things, of course," I replied, kissing his chest. Edward understood my new ability to multi-think. "But mainly... I suppose I was just thinking about how beautiful the sunrise was."

"It pales in comparison," Edward said, stroking his finger along my cheek. I smiled at him and kissed his hand. I had finally gotten used to his over-the-top compliments. Now that I was like him, I felt at least somewhat deserving of them.

I sighed slightly-- happy to be in this moment, but a little preoccupied.

Edward pulled me closer and put his lips to my ear. "Are you changing your mind? We don't have to go, you know. We can always go to Canada with the family instead. I'm sure they would all be _thrilled._"

Summer vacation plans. Edward had planned a week-long trip for just the two of us-- destination a surprise, of course. The past few months had been blissful for Edward and me, but even with our own cottage, we hadn't gotten much alone time, especially during the days. So much in our life together had changed-- being newly married, my being a newborn vampire, and of course learning to raise our rapidly growing child together. It was a lot to take on. We had gotten our fairy tale ending and were unbelievably happy, but even fairy tale characters get tired from all the excitement.

And even though I still hated surprises, I was practically giddy at the prospect of having

Edward alone to myself for a week. The location mattered little.

I sighed again, heavier this time. "No, it's only a week. I'll miss her horribly, but... I'm sure I'll find something to distract me..." I trailed my fingers across Edward's stomach and smiled mischievously.

Renesmee. Since reuniting with her after her birth, I had never been away from her for more than twelve hours. My little nudger had become a full-on necessity to life. Other than Edward, she was my everything.

Edward returned my smile and murmured, "Okay, well just remember you can change your mind at any time. And if we get there and you miss her too much, we can always leave right away." And then more softly, he added, "I'm going to miss her, too."

I smiled adoringly at my husband. Seeing the love he had for our daughter-- so different from his feelings not so very long ago-- almost made me love him more, if that were possible. It had brought us closer on a whole new level. Renesmee had balanced and put the finishing touch on our relationship. She was something we could be protective of _together_, in opposition to the hero/victim dichotomy Edward and I had once shared. It felt... healthy.

"Well you just say the word, too, then," I smiled at him. "But I think we'll make it. Besides, they're all dying to get her to themselves. We shouldn't spoil that."

Renesmee had left the previous evening with all of her aunts and uncles, as well as her grandparents, for a week-long camping trip in a remote part of British Columbia. I had watched how, over the past several months, each of them had developed their own special relationship with her. Alice loved dressing her up like a china doll; Esme had been giving her art lessons; Rosalie had already taught her how to change out a carburetor; and Renesmee and Jasper shared a love of Civil War-era literature.

On many a Sunday afternoon, I would find her curled up in Carlisle's lap, in his office chair, with a human anatomy book spread open in front of them. He looked like the proudest grandfather in the world as she recited to him, "Tibia, fibula, patella, femur..." The first day I had witnessed this, silently peeking my head around the door, I had almost felt moisture in my eyes.

"Yes, they'll have fun," smiled Edward. "And I know Nessie has been dying to watch Emmett wrestle a grizzly."

I laughed. Oh, Emmett. His relationship with Renesmee consisted of wrestling, teasing and providing a constant source of comedic entertainment for her. Emmett could make her giggle like no one else could, and he adored her.

We lay in silence for a few moments, smiling and thinking about our favorite babysitters, and then Edward rubbed my back and said, "We should get going, Bella. We have a semi-long drive ahead of us."

I rolled onto my stomach, prepared to exit the bed, but not before looking up at Edward from underneath my eyelashes and batting them in a coquettish way. "Before I pack my things, darling, I'll need at least a hint about where we are going. How will I know what to wear for the weather conditions?" The location still _really didn't _matter, but the surprise thing still irked me.

Edward hesitated as his eyes took a moment to appreciate my body's new provocative position on the bed. But then he threw back his head and laughed at my sneaky attempt. "Oh no, love," he said, still laughing, "that one would have worked when you were human, but not now." Vampires didn't need to dress for the weather.

I rolled my eyes in frustration. "_Please_, Edward?" I whined. "Just a hint?"

Edward was still chuckling. "I was really expecting your patience to improve after your change," he said through a smile. I rolled my eyes again, about to tumble off the bed in defeat. Dang, that _"Please?"_ thing usually worked.

"Okay, I'll give you one hint," he said. My eyes brightened. "It's not Antarctica."

I narrowed my eyes at Edward, tightened my mouth and stalked off to the closet. "_Very _funny, Edward," I said through clinched teeth. I pushed the closet door open and began inspecting my clothing choices. "And I was really hoping to get that first taste of penguin."

Edward was in full blown laughter now, shaking the bed with his convulsions.

"Glad I amuse you," I said morosely. I pulled out the giant piece of Louis Vuitton luggage, one of many that Alice had insisted I own. Truthfully, I thought they were a little ugly, but I wasn't going to let a little thing like my luggage ruin Alice's fun.

I scanned the nearly overflowing shelves and hangers for something to put into the bag. Much to my chagrin, over the past several months Alice had added an absurd quantity of items to my already healthy wardrobe. And unfortunately, _practicality _was not in Alice's fashion vocabulary. The new additions stared up at me from their hangers uselessly. I didn't know where we were going, but I had a feeling Dolce & Gabbana, Prada and Christian Louboutin would not make good traveling companions.

_Not Antarctica_, I thought. _Real funny, Edward._ Edward's arms were suddenly around my waist. "Here's a real hint, then," he murmured as my skin tingled, any trace of irritation now completely out the window. _He really is too good at this_.

"We're going on a summer vacation, Bella. So just pack like you would have when you were living in Phoenix." Edward started pulling shorts and tank tops off the shelves.

"So... somewhere warm, then?" I asked curiously. Possibilities filtered through my mind.

"I didn't say that," said Edward, smiling at my persistence. He tossed the shorts he was holding into the bag and pulled me to him.

"Look, Bella, you know our choices for geographic locations right now are rather... limited." I was still a newborn. Wherever we were going had to be remote, and not too far away because I couldn't travel with people on airplanes in my current condition. "But I think I've chosen somewhere you'll like. Somewhere we'll both like." He smiled at me.

I sighed in concession and smiled at Edward. "Okay, I'll stop being a pain now. I'm sorry."

Edward stroked my cheek. "Nothing at all to be sorry for. I'm rather glad your patience hasn't improved. It makes the surprise that much more worth it."

"I guess some things never change."

"Thank goodness." Edward kissed me softly.

I pulled back and stared at the shelves. "Summer vacation. Hmm."

"I was always under the impression that summer was probably your favorite season... before." Edward was looking at me in an odd way.

"Really? Why did you think that?" I questioned. Out of all of our "favorites" we had shared as Edward and I had gotten to know each other, we had never discussed seasons. Unless Edward had deduced as much from my aversion to Forks weather.

"Just something about your personality, I guess," he said. "Vibrant, alive, laid back... warm." He stroked my cheek again.

"I love you."

"As I love you." Edward pulled me in for another kiss.

"So, shorts and tank tops it is, then," I said against Edward's lips.

"Bella, regarding you, me and the next week... I really think clothing will be the very _least _of our concerns. In fact, it would be much more... convenient... if you didn't wear any at all." Edward gave me his favorite crooked, sexy smile, and I felt my stomach in my throat.

And then he did something that completely caught me off guard. As he made to exit the closet, he placed one swift slap on my rear end. I let out a short, high pitched chirp of surprise and stood there, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, as Edward chuckled toward the bathroom.

I shook my head to clear it, staring back at my clothes as I heard the shower start. I didn't _care_ where we were going. This was going to be a _very _good week.

I tossed a bathing suit and the rest of my shorts and tanks into the bag, and just for the heck of it, I threw in a few dresses, shoes and some lingerie that Alice and I had purchased on the last online shopping trip she had forced me into. One of the dresses, and the shoes that went with it, was particularly fancy, but something made me pack them on an impractical whim. I guess Alice was really starting to rub off on me.

After Edward had showered (I had discovered vampires did shower, more for the energizing effect of the water than for any cleansing purpose), I did the same and commenced packing my toiletries bag. Compared to the plethora of items I had needed as a human-- razors, soap, toothbrush and toothpaste, tweezers, moisturizer, etc.-- this bag was laughably lighter. It was mostly filled with several scary hair styling products and implements Alice had forced upon me and I probably wouldn't even use.

I just didn't need to worry about these things anymore, and it felt strange not packing them. For a split second, I panicked when I realized we didn't have any sunscreen, my former number one necessary item for summer vacations.

A moment later, Edward heard me laughing to myself and peeked his head into the bathroom to look at me questioningly. He cocked his head and wrinkled his eyebrows.

I smiled and shook my head. "Just still getting used to this vampire thing," I said, peering into my near empty cosmetic bag. "It sure is simpler in a lot of ways."

Edward laughed with me and placed a peck on my check.

Ten minutes later, we were on the road in Edward's most recent auto purchase: a deep blue monstrosity of an SUV that was somewhere between a Jeep and a Hummer. Or perhaps more accurately, somewhere between a small building and a dinosaur. The tires stood about six feet off the ground, and when the engine started, it had rumbled with the force of an airplane taking off. This vehicle was decidedly way more Emmett than Edward.

I quietly giggled as I looked back at our luggage occupying its postage-stamp-sized spot in the enormous back seat.

"And what has you so amused now, Mrs. Cullen?" Edward asked, smiling at me from the driver's seat as he turned onto the highway.

"I vaguely seem to remember you once chiding me about taking gas guzzling automobiles on long trips," I said teasingly.

Edward's laughter echoed through the cabin of the vehicle. "Good one, Bella. But you'll be happy to hear this one runs on biodiesel."

I gaped. _Of course. _"You are amazing, Edward Cullen."

Edward just continued chuckling, somehow reaching his hand to mine across the colossal expanse of the front seat, and began playing with my wedding ring.

We easily settled into road trip mode, and it felt nice. Relaxed... normal. Edward had made a playlist of some of his favorite summer road trip songs from the last five decades, and they were casual and breezy.

I had of course noticed the direction we were heading-- almost directly south. But I decided not to push Edward about our destination anymore and just enjoy going along for the ride.

There were a few expanses of minutes when we didn't talk, just enjoying each other's silent company and the scenery of Olympia, Portland and eventually Eugene.

But during the rest of the time, we talked. About anything and everything. We talked about Renesmee and our family, telling funny stories about Emmett's antics. We talked about Jacob, Renee and Charlie, and how they were all adjusting since Renesmee had been born. We talked about movies we had watched together and books we had read. We even debated about politics and economics and environmentalism. We talked about our plans for the future.

We hadn't talked so much in months. Something about the enclosed space of the car, and the sense of starting out on an adventure together, made it even more conducive to talking than our sleepless nights together. It was our special time to grow even closer, and it felt amazing.

Finally, there was a lull in our conversation and I looked at the clock. Had it really been ten hours? I peered out at the forested California landscape around us. We were on a tiny, barely paved road that looked like it hardly received any traffic. Large tree boughs arched across our path as the early evening sunlight streamed through them and made patterns on the road.

"Where...?" I started to ask Edward.

But Edward just gave me a sly grin and suddenly veered the wheel in a sharp, right-hand turn, taking the SUV directly off the road and into the woods.

"Edward, what on earth?"

This was barely a path and certainly not any kind of road. To call it that would have been an insult to roads everywhere. The Emmett-mobile was bouncing up and down as we plowed over felled tree limbs, rocks and forest floor vegetation. I made a silent prayer that any small animals had heard us coming and scurried out of the way.

Edward didn't make much of an attempt to drive any slower. Frankly, in fact, he looked like he was having the time of his life. He had a grin plastered to his face as we ricocheted off our seats like nuclear-powered Mexican jumping beans.

"The road is going to be like this for a while, so I might as well tell you now," called Edward over the din of the breaking sticks and twigs. I almost laughed at his use of the word _road._

"We're going to the Lost Coast. It's an 80-mile stretch of rugged mountains and beaches in the King Range mountains of northern California. It's called the Lost Coast because the terrain is so rugged that they've never been able to build highways that could facilitate any kind of human population there. There will be some great hunting, and the chances of us seeing a human are rather... remote."

"The Lost Coast," I replied. "Sounds romantic and mysterious." Just as I smiled, my head bounced off the side of the doorframe. Edward put his hand out instinctively, a frightened look on his face. Then realization hit him and he smiled at me, relieved and a little embarrassed, as if to say, _Oh yeah, forgot for a moment._

"And... where will we be staying?" I asked.

But Edward just smiled and said, "Patience, Bella."

We bounced and shook and jostled for about half an hour longer, until we finally reached a narrow dirt path. This was still nowhere near deserving of being called a road, but at least there were no tree limbs or rocks in the way. The semi-silence was a welcome relief. The vehicle was slightly too wide for the path, and overgrown limbs brushed harshly against it as we plowed through. We sat in silence for another half an hour as Edward drove.

"Please just tell me our accommodation is not a recent purchase on my behalf," I pleaded. "Please tell me the Cullen family either already owns it, or we are renting."

But Edward just smiled and rolled his eyes. We were starting to climb in elevation. Suddenly, the path made a sharp hairpin curve that presented us with a long stretch of ground to climb that went almost straight up. I gawked up at it in amazement as Edward stopped the vehicle.

He rolled down his window and pushed aside a tree limb to reveal a weathered, wooden placard. It hung from a rusty, thin metal chain and must have been at least eighty years old. On the placard was inscribed the letter "C" in an elegant, embellished script of kelly green paint.

Edward held back the leaves for me to get a good look at the sign, and I nodded at him and raised my eyebrows in understanding. I had a feeling I was in for an eternity of discovering new Cullen properties.

The Emmett-mobile groaned and grunted and ground its way up the steep expanse of the mountain. The brush was still thick and pelted our doors and windows as we pushed through. Edward looked like a little boy on a carnival ride as he floored the gas. It was wonderful to see him enjoying something so much. I was frankly ready to be there, though... wherever _there _was.

Finally, little by little, the brush started to clear, and we started to see more sunlight. The dirt path was getting gradually wider.

"We're here," said Edward, his voice almost singing with excitement.

"Where?" I asked. All I could still see was dirt path, the trees perhaps a little sparser.

But then Edward made one final sharp turn, and it was like the sky had opened up. The sight that greeted me was such a stark contrast to the rustic, enclosed, claustrophobic atmosphere I had traveled through for the past few hours. We were at the top of the world, and it was magnificent.

"Here," said Edward. And he kissed my hand as he watched me, silently staring at what was to be our home for the next week.


	2. Chapter 2: Brownings' Abode

Chapter Two: Brownings' Abode

Majestic. Magical. Sunny. _Enormous._

Thoughts were coming to me in one-word increments. I couldn't tear my eyes away from what lay before us, feeling at once so tiny and insignificant-- even inside this giant automobile.

More mental comparisons sprinted through my mind rapid-fire. Angular and round. Brown and green. Nature and man, all combined.

Which fairy tale character _lived _here? Or perhaps more pertinently: how _many _fairy tale characters lived here? They certainly all would have fit.

Edward's light laughter finally managed to wrest my eyes away from it. I turned to look at him in the driver's seat, suddenly remembering to close my gaping mouth. Edward was grinning from ear to ear, his eyes never leaving me.

"Edward, it's... it's a _tree house_!"

"Well, technically, yes and no," he said, "Why don't we go check it out?"

I nodded enthusiastically, and in a flash, Edward had arrived at my side of the car and removed me. He was holding me off the ground with one hand under my legs and the other around my middle.

Well, this seemed unnecessary. "Edward, I am perfectly capable..." But my protestations were brought to a halt at the pleading look on Edward's face. It was heartbreaking. _Please, won't you allow this prince to carry his princess into the castle?_

"Of course." I answered his unspoken question softly.

And for a moment, time and place melted away as I stroked Edward's cheek and felt his mouth on mine. The kiss became more intense, and suddenly I was perfectly content to stay right where we were. My fingers wound into Edward's hair. _Tree house, schmee house._

Edward chuckled and murmured against my insistent lips, "Tonight." But it seemed like that word had not come easy for him-- he exhaled loudly and rested his forehead against mine.

I sighed, too, and tried to return to the moment. I finally allowed my eyes to roam to the area surrounding the tree mansion. We were in a small circle of land, surrounded on all sides by a perimeter of trees and forest. But what made this circle of land so unique was its lofty feeling. Like we were at the very tip-top of the highest mountain of the highest mountain range on Earth. Sunlight streamed down onto us and the house in strong, direct rays, and I wouldn't have been surprised to see a cloud floating by. It was ethereal.

Edward started walking toward the house, at human speed so we could take it all in.

It was like Hansel and Gretel had designed their very own McMansion. Light-colored wood had been constructed into complex layers of eves, windows, chimneys and verandas at varying levels. Against all the sharp angles of the roofing and decking, two conical, Rapunzel-like turrets soared above the structure and demanded a storybook reverence. And for the finishing touch, multi-hued shingles dappled the surfaces of the gables like icing on a homemade gingerbread house.

But most striking of all was the way the tall, strong trees speared through and high above all the craftsmanship. The natural support beams stood erect and alive, their leaves creating a beautiful, organic silhouette against the skyline.

As we got closer, I saw what Edward must have meant by "technically, yes and no." There were large support beams rising from the ground and into the house in triangular patterns, elevating it into the trees. Part regular house, part tree house and part angel's dream house, this thing seemed to straddle all the space between earth, sky and heaven.

I had started counting all of the windows, and was ready for the Seven Dwarves to start popping their heads out of them like Swiss cuckoo clocks, when we arrived at the front door.

Edward smiled at me as he opened the door, and my eye caught the wooden placard, hanging by a metal chain. It read _Brownings' Abode_ in elegant, kelly green script.

I raised an eyebrow at Edward, but he just smiled and said, "Later." He seemed eager for us to explore the house.

The inside wasn't what I had expected at all, but I shouldn't have been surprised. From the outside, I had thought it looked as if it contained miles and miles of small rooms, passageways, nooks and crannies to explore. But typical to Cullen family style, what greeted us as Edward crossed the threshold and set me down on my feet was a cavernous, open floor plan. I almost gasped at the expanse of it.

This building couldn't have contained more than four or five rooms. Four or five BIG rooms. The ceiling in the main living area soared above us, with large beams that crosshatched and were stained much darker than the wood outside.

And also contrary to the exterior, Hansel and Gretel had no influence over the decor here. It was a complementary mix of rustic meets minimalist. Parts of the floor and ceiling were cut out so that the trees were bolted to the room like nature-grown Greek columns. To our left was a huge stone fireplace flanked by three white, contemporary couches. To our right was another rather large sitting area with built-in bookshelves, reading lamps and some very comfy looking chairs and love seats.

But directly ahead of us. This was the truly awe-inspiring visual. The entire back of the house was flanked with glass, and it faced west over a panoramic view of the King Range mountains. I had never seen anything like this except in movies and on television-- and that footage was usually taken from helicopters.

"Edward! It's... it's..."

"I know," he smiled.

We stood silent for a long while, hand in hand in front of the windows and the landscape. Eventually, the sun started to make its lazy descent. It painted the trees and the horizon varying shades of orange, purple and blue.

"What are you thinking?"

I smiled at the familiar question and the squeeze of my hand.

I turned my head to Edward halfway, peeking at him endearingly from behind my hair. "Just feeling incredibly lucky to be able to share this with you," I said honestly.

Edward softly swept my hair behind my ear with his long fingers. "I would say the same thing, but _lucky_ would be a severe understatement." And as Edward said this, he turned to me fully, pulling me by the hand to face him.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered. "Another understatement." His eyes were roaming my face and my hair, stopping on my eyes from time to time and causing my breath to catch. I felt Edward's fingers rub light circles on the small of my back.

The sun had now been almost halfway swallowed up by the line in the horizon. Its intense orange glow and the waves that emanated off of it cast a smoky, dreamlike hue to the room. The bronze in Edward's hair gleamed, and the red in his lips beckoned to me.

Slowly, my eyes never leaving his, I crossed the space between us, almost obscuring the dying light that was yearning to fill it. There were no sounds but our deep breaths as we inched nearer to each other, excruciatingly slowly, even for a human. Our faces now mere centimeters apart, we interlaced our fingers, and our bodies practically begged for contact.

But something about this moment told us not to rush it. We felt the sun lower further as our lips neared infinitesimally. The slightest nod of Edward's head. The smallest twitch of my lip. The warmth of our breath escaping and intermingling in the almost non-existent space between us.

But still, not touching. Just... savoring the anticipation of touching. I felt Edward's hands grow more insistent on my back, and my hands were rubbing the sides of his neck in gentle, but urgent, strokes.

I licked my lips. And in that moment, we were so near to each other that the very tip of my tongue grazed Edward's bottom lip with the lightest contact.

In that same moment, the light changed, its intensity mellowing and leaving behind its orange-tinted remnants. And Edward's lips were on mine. Warm and strong and fulfilling and satisfying. Heady with his scent and his taste and his life. We had ended the day and started the night with this one meaningful connection.

"Want to see the rest of the house?" Edward spoke softly as he held me in his arms.

I nodded and smiled, exhaling a breath. Truthfully, there was only _one _part of the house I wanted to see right now: the bedroom.

Edward gave me a meaningful look, as if to say, _I know, me too_.

"Wait," I said. Edward had grabbed my hand and started to lead me, but he stopped and looked back at me, awaiting my question. "_Brownings' Abode._ What does it mean?"

"Robert and Elizabeth Barrett Browning," said Edward. Those names sounded familiar. "Carlisle built this place for Esme the first year after she was turned. It was a little... uncomfortable when she was a newborn and it was just the three of us in the same house. He wanted to create a place where they could go to be alone."

"Are you sure he didn't plan on bringing an army with him?" I asked as I stared up at the massive ceiling.

Edward laughed. "Er, I think Carlisle got a little carried away."

"Hmm, sounds like someone else I know."

Edward smirked.

We had started walking through the reading area now, and we came upon a massive wooden door. As Edward turned the knob, he explained, "It's kind of a 'vampire initiation vacation home.' Rosalie and Emmett came here just after he was turned, as well. But... it's really Carlisle and Esme's place, in essence. They've just been nice enough to loan it out because of the remote location." Edward winked. "You'll notice this place was definitely designed with Esme in mind."

This room was just as massive, if not more so, than the previous one. But its size was not what first caught my attention. The entire expanse of the wall facing us was covered in a giant abstract mural. Long strokes of oranges, reds, pinks and yellows danced from floor to ceiling, and wall to wall. I could easily picture Esme standing here with paintbrushes and rollers, spinning around and laughing as she doused this small section of the world with color.

Other than a few strategically placed antique side tables and chairs, there wasn't much else in this room. Well, unless you could count the highly varnished hardwood floors that resembled the ballroom from _Beauty & the Beast. _I stared down at the floors in awe and looked to Edward for an explanation.

Edward just shrugged and said, "Esme was really into ballroom dancing the year after she was turned."

I laughed to myself, picturing Esme and Carlisle in here doing the tango, rose between the teeth and all.

"Okay, last stop on the tour," said Edward. He led us to a door beside the mural and up a tightly wound set of enclosed steps.

"Let me guess," I said. "One of the turrets?"

Edward smiled in affirmation just when we arrived at the top step. I could feel his eyes on me as I took in the room. If ever there were a real-life incarnation of Sleeping Beauty's tower, this was it. The room was completely circular and flanked by bare concrete brick walls dotted with a few small windows. A bed suitable for 15th century English royalty-- dark wood canopy, velvet drapes, ornate headboard and all-- stood on a platform in the middle of the room. Off the platform and directly below the windows were a chaise lounge, small love seat and intricately carved vanity table.

"Wow," I said. "It's quite... romantic. Doesn't exactly match the rest of the house in style, does it? Well, except for the exterior."

Edward smiled. "Carlisle decided to go all out. It's a little cheesy, but he really wanted Esme to have her fairy tale bedroom."

Suddenly, Edward's face grew serious and he took my hands in both of his. "Bella, I know this isn't ideal, staying in another one of Carlisle and Esme's special places. I really wanted to take you somewhere that was all ours. It's just, with the timing of everything..."

I put my finger over Edward's lips. "Edward Cullen, don't you dare apologize for not building me a palace. This is more than I could ever ask for. It feels like _I'm _living a fairy tale. Honestly, though, it feels that way anywhere that I'm with you."

Edward sighed in relief and pulled me close, kissing me softly. "I love you."

"I love you more."

Edward smiled a little scornfully. "I don't think so, Bella."

"So... _Brownings' Abode_?"

"Ah," said Edward. "Well, Carlisle has always been a huge fan of the Brownings' poetry."

So that was why the names were familiar. Of course. It made me a little sad that the classic literature I had once devoured and almost memorized as a human was now faint in my memory.

"And..." said Edward. He looked a little uncomfortable about sharing this. "Well, let's just say Carlisle has recited a lot of it to Esme. He started it to help her through the three-day agony of her change, and it just sort of continued after that."

Again, Edward looked a little sheepish. "He still recites it to her a lot now... especially during certain... _moments._"

Oh. _Oh._

"I'm not supposed to know all of that. Just one of those things that have slipped through." He tapped a finger to his temple. "So, what would you like to do now?"

"Is this really all of the house? What's in the other turret?"

"Oh, that one's just used for storage. There is one more floor below the main one that's also used for storage, with a patio that extends off of it. We can explore that tomorrow. I was thinking perhaps you might like to go hunting, as well. Check out the local landscape? It's really rather beautiful."

"Well..." I replied, tilting my head to the side and looking up at Edward coyly, "as for immediate plans, what do you say we re-break in that bed? Looks like it hasn't been used in a while." I bit my lip and tried not to smile too obviously.

A deep rumble emanated from Edward's chest, and he looked at me as if to say, _I thought you would never ask._

Suddenly, he charged at me, encircling my waist in his arms and catapulting us onto the royal bed. Somehow--amazingly--our antics didn't cause the antique to completely collapse. We were both laughing and squirming and wrestling about the bed, hands roaming each other freely.

I allowed Edward to pin me, straddling my hips with his legs. He gazed down at me playfully, with a look of pure happiness. I was still laughing from all the wrestling.

"So what do you think about this room?" he asked. "Does the design accurately achieve the fairy tale motif?"

"Depends on your version of a fairy tale, I suppose," I replied. I stared up at the red velvet bed curtains. "All the nods to medieval Europe are nice, if you're into fantasizing about that sort of thing."

Edward was eying me expectantly. "But personally," I fingered the buttons on Edward's shirt and glanced at him seductively, "I prefer something a little more _modern_." I ripped through all the buttons in one swift motion, and Edward's bare chest was exposed to me.

His eyes widened, and he growled again, immediately assaulting my neck with his lips and tongue. My hands eagerly trailed his muscular chest and stomach, and he whispered into my ear, "I couldn't agree more." He ripped my shirt from my body, throwing it God-knows-where and into God knows how many pieces.

Edward placed his hand under my back and arched my chest closer to him, hungrily eyeing the sight that greeted him. He ran one delicate finger along the edge of my blue and black lace push-up bra, right at the point where my flesh bulged against it and threatened to overspill.

I was dying for him to just take me in his hands, in his lips... in his teeth. The lustful way he stared at my chest caused me to bite my lip and grind my hips insistently against his.

Edward groaned, his eyes rolling back into his head a little. He swallowed-- hard. It seemed like he was trying to restrain himself. For what, I didn't know. But it was making me crazy.

Edward continued trailing his finger along the top line of my bra. His lips twitched, and he started to speak, but his voice sounded unsteady. "Take the brassiere, for example." He took a deep breath. "It wasn't even invented until the late 19th century." Edward seemed to want to say more, but stopped himself.

"And?" I ground my hips into Edward's groin.

"Unnhh," he moaned. "And... my fairy tale fantasy most definitely includes you in one of _these." _Edward roughly fisted the entire back of my bra, as if he were going to rip it off. "Or rather, my _removing _one of these from you."

"Mmm," I arched my back more sharply, almost fully heaving my breast into Edward's hand. "Then why don't you live out your fantasy _right now_?" I grasped his hips roughly and almost growled myself.

And that was it for my blue and black lace bra-- in a nanosecond, it had suffered the same fate as my shirt.

"Ahhhh, Bella," Edward breathed against my chest, his tongue darting out against my skin and causing it to spark with pleasure. I tugged and pulled roughly at Edward's hair, eliciting deep grunts from him.

"And what else, Edward? What other modernities are included in your fantasy? Ah!" I gasped as his teeth grazed my nipple.

But Edward seemed reluctant to answer me. He consumed my breast into his mouth more fully and deeply, causing me to gasp again.

"Edward?" Still no answer. If possible, Edward's mouth grew more enthusiastic against my breast. It felt amazing, but it also felt like an excuse for Edward not to speak. He was holding back from answering me. Holding back from telling me his fantasy.

I don't know what came over me, or where all of the confidence came from. Perhaps it was the fact that Edward was always resisting. Always making decisions that he thought were best for me because they conformed to some outdated, early twentieth century moral code. In the several months that we had been married, our sex life had been rather... traditional. Not that I was complaining. Every time Edward and I made love was beautiful. And I wasn't necessarily feeling bored-- when you're having sex with Edward Cullen, it's impossible to feel that way.

But, I was feeling the urge to explore a little, to find out if there were even more ways I could please him. The few times I had hinted at it, Edward had managed to distract me in a way that always kept us on the same tried and true track. A track that, I suppose, Edward thought was "proper." I knew his old fashioned ideals came from a place of love, but I was starting to feel a little smug-- perhaps resentful, even. I was tired of Edward calling the shots and holding back what I knew he really wanted.

Suddenly, I sat up, overpowering Edward and reversing our positions on the bed. It was now _me_ straddling _him, _his back flat against the bed as he gazed up at me and my bare chest. Becoming a vampire had certainly brought about its advantages.

"I want to hear more, Edward." I grazed my fingers down his chest. "Tell me what you want, and I'll give it to you." I hooked both of my hands into the waistband of his jeans and gave a sharp tug, with not quite enough force to pull them off.

Edward's eyes darkened at this gesture, but then he smiled at me slightly. "You've already given me everything I want, love. There is nothing more I could ask of you."

I looked at him skeptically. "Are you absolutely sure about that?"

He smiled again. "Of course." His face betrayed nothing. Total Victorian resolve. I made a mental eye roll.

So it was going to be _like that._ Of course it was.

Ever so slowly, I began unbuckling Edward's belt. I eyed him with a small, knowing smile. "Well, perhaps I just need to work on my patience," I said. "I'm sure something will come to you... eventually."

I completely unbuckled the belt and started working on the zipper fly of his jeans. I peeked a glance at Edward's face: still a rock.

I pulled the jeans off in one swift movement, hurling them into the realms of my shirt and bra. Edward lay on the bed now in only a pair of dark blue boxer shorts.

"For example, what if I did this?" On hands and knees, I inched my way closer to his body again, running my lips and my bare breasts up his legs until I finally lay on my stomach between them, my hands and lips exploring his upper stomach. "Does this bring any wishes to mind?"

No response. But I felt Edward's muscles tense beneath me.

Slowly, my lips lowered and trailed their way to his belly button. I hooked one index finger into the waistband of his shorts. I peeked another glance at Edward, and his face was still stone. But his lips had parted slightly, and it looked like he had stopped breathing.

"Anything yet?" I asked sultrily. Nada.

As my kisses inched ever lower, I slowly pushed down the top of Edward's shorts. When they reached the point of almost exposing him, my lips mere millimeters from his most sensitive area, Edward stilled my hand.

"Bella..."

"Yes, Edward?" I licked my lips.

"I... I don't... you shouldn't do that. I don't need you to do that." His voice was weak and clearly conflicted.

"I don't think this is about what you _need_, now is it, Edward? It's about what you want. Now tell me the truth." I allowed my bottom lip to graze the bulge beneath his shorts and whispered, "Do you want this?"

Edward closed his eyes immediately and took in a shaky breath. "Yes." He whispered it only loud enough for vampire hearing.

"I don't think I heard you clearly, Edward," I replied. "Tell me again."

"Yes," he opened his eyes and said it more firmly. "Oh God, yes, Bella, I do want it." He almost moaned.

I smiled jubilantly and lowered my face to Edward's groin, but he stilled me again. "But it doesn't mean it's right, Bella. It doesn't mean it's... proper for you to do that. It's degrading."

I groaned inwardly. More of the Victorian party line. I sat up and stared piercingly into Edward's eyes. "Why don't you let me be the judge of what I should and shouldn't do for once, Edward? Because right now, there is nothing I want more than to give this to you."

Edward looked at once surprised and shocked-- he clearly had not been expecting for me to say that. But the surprise was suddenly replaced with a forlorn look, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips tight. A lock of bronze hair flopped into Edward's face, and he closed his eyes and took in a deep, distressed breath.

"Bella," he whispered without opening his eyes, "I just... I just can't." He opened his eyes and gazed at me beseechingly, the conflict etched across his face like a continental divide. "The momentary... pleasure," he closed his eyes again briefly, "would simply not be worth knowing that you compromised your integrity in that way. Compromised it for me."

My _integrity?_ Edward was putting our behind-closed-doors activities on the same moral plane as my _integrity?_ What was this, a political vetting process? The impersonal nature of that idea got me at once so indignant that I bristled.

"_Edward,_" I intoned, pushing up to a sitting position on the bed and staring down at him disapprovingly. But looking down at his gorgeous, honest face, I realized at once that my tone was perhaps a bit harsh, and I lowered the intensity of my voice.

"Edward, I'm not really sure how my pleasing you has anything at all to do with my character." I let out a quick sigh and moved my hands in a small, agitated gesture. "I thought we had moved past all of this... restraint."

"Bella, love," Edward's face stayed constricted and he took my hand, "I'm sorry. Truly, I am." He let out a sigh. "I think we're dealing with a cross-generational issue here. I may still be seventeen in many ways, and I may have quite a few _modern_ preferences," he gave me a meaningful look, "but I suppose there is a very core, convictive part of me that will always belong in 1918. Can you... understand that? I know it's not really an excuse, but perhaps a reason. If it were something I could change about myself, I would. You know I would. I would do," he kissed my hand, "anything for you." He glanced up at me through his eyelashes, and I stopped breathing.

I exhaled calmly, all traces of irritation now dispersed. Well, how could I remain upset after _that_? "I do understand, Edward. Thank you. Thank you for being honest with me. And I'm sorry."

Edward's face relaxed. "Nothing to be sorry for, love. It's just a circumstance of our situation, I think. I just couldn't allow you to do that... even if it were true that you actually _wanted_ to."

Hold the phone. "Wait... what?" I pulled my hand away from him and sat up straighter.

"Edward... you..." I almost couldn't get the words out, I was so shocked. "You think I'm making this _up_? You think I'm lying about wanting to please you?"

"Not about wanting to please me, Bella. Just that particular choice of... pleasure."

Now I wasn't just frustrated with our circumstances-- I was plain mad. Mad and hurt. I narrowed my eyes at him. "Well guess what, Edward Cullen? You're wrong."

Edward could hear the hurt in my voice, and it showed in his face. But I was so upset-- so angry that he couldn't believe for once that _I_ would get pleasure out of giving something to _him._ How dare he try to rob me of that same gratification? I exited the bed and walked off the platform toward the vanity table and chaise, to one of the small, semi-circular windows. I needed to look at something other than Edward's dazzling face for a moment; needed to escape the tension of this conversation so I could gather my thoughts. I looked out at the forest, now completely darkened under the veil of night.

I bit my lip as I thought how to best get my next words out. I hated feeling angry toward Edward. It was an unnatural emotion for our relationship. But angry was what I was.

How many times had Edward tried to give me things? And how many times had I seen the hurt on his face when I had asked him not to? How many concessions had I made to receive gifts-- even though I would rather not-- simply because I knew the joy it gave him?

It seemed so damn hypocritical. And to top it all off, he had the audacity to not even believe that my pleasure in my generosity was _genuine._ I felt like screaming.

But I didn't scream. Because I felt him behind me, hesitant to touch me or say anything. I exhaled sharply through my nose and spoke softly. "I just... Edward, I just need you to understand something. This love that we share, I want it to be equal." I heard his lips part to say something, but I continued on. "And don't tell me you think it is equal."

I turned around to face him. "Because when you start denying me my feelings, and the pleasure of expressing my love to you, it's not equal. It's just not. And I'm sorry, but that is _not _okay with me."

As a wave of emotions starting with understanding and ending with repentance washed over Edward's countenance, my heart broke. He looked so miserable and so breathtakingly beautiful all at the same time, standing there a glorious vision in nothing but his boxer shorts, that I wanted to wrap my arms around him and never let go. But I stood my ground, because this conversation was important and we needed to finish it.

"Bella," said Edward in a shaky voice. "I am so sorry. I... I just never thought about it that way. Hearing it from you now, in this way, of course it makes perfect sense. I want our love to be equal, too, and I am so sorry. I've been so selfish." He ran his hand through his hair in a fitful manner. "Can you ever forgive me?"

And at hearing those words and seeing the desperate look on his face, I _did _wrap my arms around him. Tightly. I felt him exhale in relief the moment our torsos touched, and he buried his face in my hair.

"Of _course_ I forgive you, Edward. You never have to ask that question. I will always forgive you."

"Oh, Bella," he sighed into my hair. The despair was still in his voice. "I am so, so sorry. I am the most miserable excuse--"

The moment he uttered those words, my fingers were on his lips, silencing him. "No, Edward. Don't you dare start the 'what a miserable creature I am' bit. That is precisely what caused the problem in the first place."

Edward hung his head, eyes still furrowed and looking toward the ground.

"When will you see yourself clearly, Edward? You used to ask me that same question all the time. Is the irony of that not apparent to you? Do you really hear me when I say, 'I love you'? I'm asking you to hear me now. I. Love. You. For you. Just like you are now and have been for the past 108 years."

I meant what I said. I wanted him to _hear_ me. As I spoke, I had placed my hand under Edward's chin and forced him to raise his eyes to mine. I looked back at him, begging him with my own eyes to hear me. Hear what I was saying with not only my words, but also my soul and my heart. Hear the truth of the unspoken words I said to him every single time I looked at him. Every time I touched him. Every time I said his name. Just hear me. And in hearing me, believe me.

He rested his forehead against mine, backing me into the wall and placing his hands on my waist. "Thank you," he whispered, and he placed his lips to my forehead. He pulled back, eyes closed and slowly shaking his head from side to side, as if in amazement.

"I'm going to say this one more time, Bella, and then I promise I won't repeat it again if you don't want me to." He opened his eyes and stared deep into my soul. "I truly do not deserve you. I don't know what I did to get lucky enough to find you and make you my wife, but I will never stop worshiping the ground you walk on. I will never stop looking for ways to thank you for loving me."

I was breathing shallowly and staring back into Edward's eyes with intensity, our faces only inches apart. "And I will never stop looking for ways to thank you, either," I whispered. "You weren't the only one who needed saving." I paused and said, "I love you."

"I hear you," murmured Edward. And his mouth was suddenly on mine, warm and alive and expressive. Our lips were yearning for catharsis as we moved them against each other, feeling the pain and emotion of the conversation finding its desperate escape. Edward's naked torso pressed into my bare chest, and he gripped at my sides with his strong fingers.

"Mmm, Edward," I breathed as he explored my neck.

"Oh, God, Bella." Edward was using his mouth, _all _of his mouth, on any bare patch of skin he could find. He crashed his lips into my collar bone, the front of my neck and my shoulders. He dropped to his knees and lathed his tongue in hard, direct lines across my abdomen and my ribcage. The force of his movements caused me to grip and fist his hair as he continued his ministrations lower and lower down my body.

"Bella, you taste so good," said Edward between mouthfuls of my flesh. When he reached the top of my shorts, he didn't hesitate. He opened the button with his teeth and pulled them off with his hands in one quick movement. He didn't waste any time doing the same to my panties.

Edward knelt before me now, eye level with my groin and the lustiest expression I had ever seen on his face. He peered up at me through half-lidded eyes.

"Bella, at the risk of sounding selfish here," he whispered, "I want to taste you. _Really _taste you." It struck me that he wasn't talking about my blood anymore.

Ever the gentleman, he added, "May I, please?"

Forget speech. Forget responding in any rational, sane manner. A sound between a moan and a whimper escaped my throat, and Edward took that as a yes.

All at once, I was laid out on the brocade-upholstered chaise lounge, a pillow behind my head and Edward's hand interlaced in mine.

His movements now were slower, more deliberate. He started at my right ankle, kissing his way up my leg delicately and lovingly. Each kiss built on the last, and I could feel the strength of intention and thought behind each and every one. Occasionally, he would stop to savor a particular facet-- perhaps my knee or a freckle-- paying it extra special attention with his tongue.

Even in possibly the most heated state of my life, it didn't escape my notice that Edward was about to please me in exactly the same way I had tried to please him. I would have to confront him about the double standard later. But for the moment, Edward's mouth was just robbing me of the urge to care.

After what felt like an excruciatingly long amount of time, his lips made their way to my inner thigh. He paused here, littering featherlight kisses along the thin skin at what would be my panty line, if I had been wearing any. And then he placed his free hand on my lower abdomen, watching it as he inched ever lower, rubbing small circles and caresses along the soft skin there.

Edward's voice broke the silence as he stared up at me through those eyelashes again. "Please let me know, love."

I managed to nod my head ever so slightly in understanding, my eyes glued to his perfect mouth-- place of origin of my favorite crooked smile. Only he wasn't smiling now. His face was completely serious, and beautiful and simply... dazzling.

I knew what he meant: let him know if he did anything wrong, anything to hurt or upset me. If I had been able to speak, I would have admonished his caution. I had never felt more safe in Edward's mouth.

I squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back.

***

Several minutes, or perhaps several hours later, Edward held me in his arms in the pitch black silence. He kissed my neck, and I laughed to myself inwardly.

He truly _was _good at everything.


	3. Chapter 3: Hammocks and White Roses

Chapter Three: Hammocks and White Roses

The elk had heard me. It had heard me, but it was futile for it to run.

Like a magical potion, its scent had called to me from almost two miles away. The second the aroma hit my nose and throat, a main power switch somewhere deep inside of me clicked on.

I'm sure my feet must have hit the ground running-- running hard and fast. I'm sure they must have stirred up sticks and leaves, and the smell of peat, as they pummeled through the forest floor with the ferocity of a cannonball. I'm sure there was the sound of birds, some far away, twittering, and some close by, squawking. And I'm sure I looked like a devil just sprung from the gates of hell, as my eyes flashed red and my hair whipped wildly around my face as I raced through the trees.

I'm sure of all of that. But I wasn't aware of it at the time. I wasn't thinking. I wasn't processing. Perhaps I wasn't even Bella.

In the moments of time that spanned between that mouthwatering scent and my satiation, I was the world's most dangerous predator.

In the split second before my attack, the elk had heard me. Standing with its head bowed and lapping at the stream, its black eye flitted to mine. It had one small moment in which to make one even smaller motion with its left hoof. Hardly a movement worth counting.

Two seconds later, its hot blood was pouring down my throat.

When I had reached my fill--well, as filled as I would ever be on the not-quite-satisfying meal of elk's blood-- I stood up and turned away abruptly. My stomach sloshed, and the drained animal lay in a helpless heap on the ground.

And this was always the moment when my senses returned to me. My belly full and my thirst conquered, I could be Bella again. I wiped my mouth with my hand. I was still a little sloppy at this, but I was getting better. Alice was certainly pleased that I hadn't been ruining as many clothes. I checked my tank top for any splashes. I was golden-- another $200 garment thankfully spared.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to stay calm watching you do that. Even when it's something as harmless as an elk."

I jumped, quickly looking up from my shirt. Edward leant against a nearby tree, smiling at me from a safe distance in the morning light.

I let out a loud breath and put a hand to my chest. "Really, Edward, if my heart was still beating, I think it would have jumped right out of my body."

"That would be foolish of it. That's one place I never want to leave."

He was walking toward me now, crooked smile on his face and hands in his pockets. His button-up shirt was slightly open at the top, the collar framing the perfect angles of his beautiful jaw. And true to his perfection at everything he did, it remained perfectly blood-free after his meal.

When he reached me, he pulled me in for a kiss. I decided Edward definitely tasted better than elk.

"Find anything good?" I asked. "Sorry I sort of just... took off."

Edward laughed. "No need to apologize for your instincts, Bella. And yes, I did find a few mountain lions."

"Good?"

"Delicious," he smiled. "A slightly different taste from the ones near Forks, but still very good in their own way."

"Yeah, the elk was good, too," I said. "Also different. But good." Well, good enough for _animal _blood.

I moved my eyes away from Edward and took in the atmosphere. These were woods, just like Forks, but they, too, were different. Not quite so green, due to less rain. Hillier, with more rocks and enormous boulders. More sounds and scents of wildlife. And the trees-- the trees were gigantic.

When my eyes scanned to the bloodless elk lying on the ground, I quickly turned my head the other way. I closed my eyes for a moment and bit my lip.

"Bella? Love?" Edward was cupping my face with his hand and trying to make eye contact. He pulled me into his chest, as if suddenly understanding. He caressed my hair. "I know it's still difficult to reconcile... taking another life, even when it's only an animal's. But that guilty feeling will lessen. I promise."

I shook my head slowly and nuzzled my face closer into Edward's chest. "I hope so," I whispered.

"I'm so sorry, love. Your physical change only lasted three days, but it's going to take a lot longer for you to come to terms with things mentally. I do promise, though... eventually, it will get better. And I'll do whatever I can to help you."

I pulled back and smiled at Edward weakly. "I know you will. Thank you. I suppose I just need to learn how to get closer to nature, right?" I gazed up into the towering trees.

Edward chuckled. "That's one way of looking at it, I suppose. Another would be to just accept what you are now: a predator. No need for you to feel guilty for acting on _your_ nature."

I looked at Edward in astonishment for a moment and said teasingly, "Oh, that's rich coming from you, Edward Cullen. It's only taken you, what, almost a century to believe those words yourself?" Edward's "miserable creature" fit from the previous evening rung in our memories.

Edward tipped his head in accedence. "Touche, Bella," he smiled. "But it doesn't mean you should have to suffer for that long, also. No reason you can't learn from my mistakes."

He was right-- and self-sacrificing-- as usual. "Thank you," I sighed, placing a kiss on Edward's lips.

"Anytime," he murmured. And he was the one who kissed me this time, deeply and passionately. His tongue begged for entrance into my mouth, entrance that I gladly granted.

Amazing how only one kiss from Edward could completely turn my mood around.

"Speaking of getting close to nature," Edward said, a little breathless, between kisses, "this seems like a good way."

Hmm, making out with Edward in the great outdoors? Yes, please.

"Mmm, yes," I agreed. "Let's do this all day."

Edward trailed kisses up my neck and threaded his fingers through my hair. As our lips intermingled, I fell deeper and deeper into a state of utter Edward Hypnosis. I was hypnotized by the all-consuming nature of his body pressed so closely against mine; hypnotized by his delicious scent and the taste and feel of his beautiful face underneath my fingertips. Wait... where were we again?

"I want to show you something," he whispered against my ear.

And before I could even think to respond, Edward threw me onto his back, monkey-style. It was just like the old days. We were speeding through the forest, past groves of trees big as skyscrapers and over rocks large as houses. This was treacherous terrain that few humans could have managed, but Edward glided over it with the grace of an eagle. We passed in and out of random patches of sunlight, each of us twinkling as Edward sped along. I kept my eyes open now, my sight missing nothing and feeling exhilarated by the speed. I could run fast now, too, but nothing close to as fast as Edward. It was so exciting that I laughed, and Edward laughed along with me. How had this ever felt scary before?

We finally reached Edward's destination about three miles away, and the second we got there, I was entranced. A bubbling brook made its way down the mountain and emptied over a rock into a large, crystal clear pool. Trees surrounded the brook on all sides, but in the wide expanse where the pool lay, the absence of trees allowed filtered sunlight to stream down into the water in hazy ribbons. I could see dust and leaf particles swirling in them as they penetrated the water.

I stared at Edward open-mouthed. He shrugged a smile. "One of my mountain lions led me straight to it."

I let out an excited squeal and ran over the slick rocks and right to the edge of the pool, hastily shedding my shoes along the way. I had started to dip my toes into the water.

"Bella! Be careful!" Edward's arms were wrapped around me like a vise, holding me back from the edge. We both stood there suspended in thought and action for a moment.

Then I felt Edward relax at the realization of his overreaction. His arms loosened their grip, and he half-sighed, half-laughed into my shoulder. I put my hands on top of his to comfort him.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I guess old habits die hard. I know that's probably getting old." His speech was muffled against my shoulder.

I turned around to face him. "How could I be angry with you for wanting to protect me?" I asked sincerely. "I guess we've both got some adjusting to do." I smiled and stroked a lock of hair away from Edward's face.

He sighed. "Yes. Together. We'll adjust together."

"Always."

He squeezed my hand. "Well, would you like to go for a dip?"

I nodded enthusiastically and Edward smiled and began unbuttoning his shirt.

This Great Outdoors thing kept getting better and better.

I tried to keep myself from ogling my husband _too _much-- that still got embarrassing sometimes-- and focused on grabbing the hem of my tank top to pull it over my head.

I had it halfway off and obscuring my sight when two strong hands were suddenly at my waist, halting my progress.

"Won't you allow me?" he whispered.

I lowered my arms in assent. As he slowly pulled my top the rest of the way off my body, Edward was revealed to me. Beautiful and dazzling and right in front of me. And naked. Very naked.

I gulped. He inched nearer to me as I felt him slowly unbutton my shorts, a few fingers lightly but deliberately grazing my abdomen on the way down. I couldn't see any of this-- only felt it-- because I was too entranced by Edward's face at this moment, his expression intent and his eyes well-fed and golden. The word _beautiful_ has never done Edward justice.

We stared at each other for a moment. "Shall we?" he asked quietly.

I still couldn't locate my voice-- it seemed to have hopped a ride on my tank top-- so I nodded. Edward started walking over the rocks and waded into the pool. I realized I should have been following him, but I couldn't seem to locate the will to move my feet either.

I watched Edward as the ripples in the pool broke and gave way around his v-shaped torso, the water hugging the indentations in his hips like a silky blanket. He closed his eyes at the sensation and held his arms splayed above the surface, allowing the water to filter between his fingertips.

When Edward reached the center of the pool, he made a quarter turn so that he faced me straight on. But his eyes remained closed and his head was bowed, his arms stretched out on both sides of him. And in this spot, directly in the center of the pool, was where the sunlight shone the straightest and the strongest. But the moment Edward had stepped into it, the beam of light had further strengthened and brightened, as if it had always been waiting for Edward to arrive there and complete it. And now that he had, it shone in its fully glory.

It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Even more beautiful than he had looked on our honeymoon, standing in a similar fashion to this under moonlight. The reason was clear: Edward _was_ sunlight.

He was all things bright and alive, vibrant and warm. He held the power of the universe in his loving, true and sincere hands. In the past, he may have seen himself as something different, but I knew better. And this image in this very moment was proof. Edward _was _sunlight.

Just when I thought what I was seeing couldn't get any more beautiful, it did. Because Edward opened his eyes and smiled at me. And that's when the will to move my feet suddenly returned, and I joined him in the light.

*****

When we had left _Brownings' Abode _earlier that morning for our hunt, we had exited through the front door. Edward promised me we would see the lower portion of the back of the house when we returned.

And now we were returning, full from our meal and refreshed from our dip in the pool. We didn't rush it this time; I wasn't clinging to Edward's back and we weren't running. In fact, we were walking at almost human speed, hand in hand through the forest and up the steep incline of the mountain. It felt wonderful. I doubted if I had ever seen Edward so relaxed. We had been talking lightheartedly for the past two hours.

"But you have to admit, Edward," I said, laughing, "you went a bit overboard. I'm actually surprised you haven't padded the walls by now."

Edward mock-scowled at me. I had been teasing him for his latest antics as an overprotective father. For the past several months, Edward had been finding new and creative ways to make sure Renesmee stayed safe from harm. And he would never admit to it, but I had a feeling that a huge part of his concern originated from a belief I could have passed a clumsiness gene along to Nessie. Not that she had exhibited any such trait yet, but that was Edward-- always preemptive to the nth degree.

The latest escapade had involved "babyproofing" (even though, at Renesmee's growth rate, she could hardly be called a baby anymore) by placing copious amounts of padding on every single sharp corner throughout our cottage. Esme was a little miffed at the "modern industrial" effect all the foam and duct tape had abruptly imposed on her meticulously-planned interior design.

"Okay, okay," laughed Edward. "Perhaps I can be a little overprotective at times."

"Overprotective? Edward, you make the Secret Service look like kids wearing suits and carrying toy guns."

Edward just laughed and shook his head-- whether more at my joke or himself, I wasn't sure.

"What do you think she's doing right now?" I asked when our laughter had died down.

Edward smiled at me comfortingly. "I'm sure she's having a wonderful time, Bella. Probably laughing like crazy at Emmett. Reading books. Exploring the forest with Carlisle. I miss her, but I'm not worried."

I eyed Edward dubiously. "Hmm. Well, if Mr. Padded Walls isn't worried, I guess I shouldn't be, either."

Edward laughed again. "I was sort of saving this as a surprise, love, but I think I'll tell you now. I've arranged for us to call her in a few days."

My eyes widened. "Really?! Oh, Edward!" I threw my arms around his neck and he chuckled. "But... how?"

I had left for this trip thinking I wouldn't be able to speak to my daughter for a whole week. Our location was so remote that it was impossible to get a cell signal out here. And I assumed that where the rest of the family was located, in the wilds of Canada, was not particularly accommodating to cellular phones, either.

"The family has visited both of these locations enough times to know that there are a few 'pockets' where reception is, if not great, decent," said Edward. "In fact, the entire spot where they're camping in Canada is one rather large pocket. So they should be available for our call at any time."

"And where is our 'pocket'?" I questioned.

We were getting closer to the house now. I could see Rapunzel's turrets rising above the tree line in the distance.

"Down the mountain," said Edward. "The caretaker actually has a land line we can use."

The caretaker. Now there was a question I hadn't yet thought to ask. But my pursuance of that question was pushed to the side when we came upon the back of the house.

And just like yesterday, when I had seen the front of the house, I was awed. Only I wasn't awed by any of Hansel and Gretel's handiwork here. This was the Tuscan Riviera.

I walked up onto the enormous white flagstone patio. The pieces were gigantic and oddly-shaped, arranged so that they fit together like a puzzle. Bright green moss grew as a living mortar in the cracks. Beautiful, dark-stained teak furniture, including a square table, two chaise chairs and a comfy seating area under a cabana, was adorned with red cushions. The whole space was fabulous, like something right out of _Architectural Digest. _Marilyn Monroe wouldn't have looked at all out of place here in her classic white bathing suit and movie star sunglasses.

But the masterpiece of this outdoor living room was, oddly enough, the back wall of the house. At first I thought the whole expanse, save the french patio doors, had been painted white-- a solid white wall beneath the sea of glass enclosing the floor above. It was really a rather striking contrast.

But upon closer inspection, I realized the whitewash hadn't been created by paint at all. It was flowers. Lots and lots of flowers. Roses, to be exact. A million white roses bloomed and trailed their way through a wooden trellis that covered the expanse of the whole bottom floor.

The effect was both so impressive and so romantic that, for what must have been at least the fifth time over the past two days, I gasped in awe.

I turned to Edward. "If you keep surprising me with beautiful places like this, I might have to insist that we never leave."

He was grinning at me. Gah... I had turned from one beautiful sight to another. My eyes were going to become irrevocably spoiled if this kept up.

"These are all just feeble attempts at complementing your beauty, Bella." He winked.

Something about Edward's compliment and his wink made me feel strangely bashful. If I still could have blushed, I would have. Instead, I looked down and bit my lip, making my way toward the roses.

"Amazing," I said thoughtfully as I stared up at the stems weaving their way through the woodwork. I started to think about all the labor and upkeep this must have required.

Which reminded me. "So, what about the caretaker?" I asked. There was no way this place stayed in this shape, protected from the wilds of nature out here, without someone doing regular maintenance at least weekly. And from the looks of this rose trellis, they surely came more often than that.

"The caretaker is an old local. I guess you could call him a 'hillbilly,'" Edward winced, "although that term is a bit offensive. Anyway, he's been living here for years, ever since Carlisle built the place. Carlisle has never met him in person; they correspond through the mail, so as to prevent questions about the non-aging issue. I'm pretty sure he thinks Carlisle is his own grandson by now." Edward chuckled.

I chuckled, too. The creative lengths the Cullens would go to protect their secret and still maintain an opulent lifestyle never failed to amaze me.

Edward took my hand. "So I was thinking we could spend the evening out here. Would you like that?"

"Of course," I said.

"Okay," smiled Edward. "I need to go to the car and bring in our luggage." _Oh yeah,_ we had never even retrieved our things last night. "Why don't you continue enjoying the patio? I'll be right back."

I smiled and drew Edward nearer to me. "Hurry," I whispered before placing a kiss on his lips.

"Mmm, now I certainly will." Edward's lips brushed mine as he spoke.

He was around the corner of the house in a flash. I ambled over to the cabana and looked at the couches and chairs surrounding a beautiful mosaic-tiled fire pit. There were big fluffy red pillows, large exotic plants and red curtains draped around the enclosure. I shook my head and smiled. I was starting to wonder how they got the HGTV design team up here.

I walked out of the cabana and back into the open space of the patio, where the chaises sat. Hmm, it seemed like something was missing. _Oh._ _Now_ I knew what it was. These designs usually included an outdoor kitchen, complete with a grill and sometimes even an oven and mini-fridge. Well, the Cullens certainly didn't need that. And now that I thought about it, there was no kitchen inside the house either. The mansion in Forks had a kitchen to maintain the proper appearances, but out here in the boonies, it wasn't necessary. It seemed strange that it took me so long to notice the lack of a cooking space here. Didn't cooking formerly comprise a large amount of my time as a human? Perhaps I was getting used to this vampire thing faster than I thought. How quickly things fly out of our consciousness when they are no longer necessary.

I stepped off the patio and looked into the surrounding trees and vegetation. Something white and slightly swaying between two trees caught my attention: a hammock. Now that looked like the perfect place to chill out. I walked over to it and plopped down, enjoying the feel of the roping as it molded to my back, and the gentle sway of its side-to-side movement.

It was twilight. Edward and I had enjoyed a perfect day together, and this seemed like the perfect ending. I closed my eyes as I let my thoughts and the hammock guide me into a relaxed state, waiting for Edward to return.

As perfect as the day had been, my mind wandered to the previous evening. It had certainly turned out... wonderfully. Edward and I had taken our physical relationship to a new level. But as wonderful as it had been to arrive at that new level, something had been nagging at my subconscious. One thing about Edward was never going to change, I admitted: he was old fashioned. That much I understood. I not only understood it, but it was one of the things I loved most about him.

But I had never ascribed to the belief that old dogs couldn't be taught new tricks. There was so much evidence of the old co-existing with the new-- and doing so seamlessly and beautifully-- in Edward's life that I was confident I could convince him to apply the same philosophy to his behind-closed-doors values. It would just take some convincing. Some very creative convincing. Last night had been a good first step.

"Is there room for one more?"

My eyes shot open, and I clutched my chest. "Oh! Edward, there you go doing that thing to my heart again."

He lay down in the hammock and scooped me into his arms, my head coming to rest on his shoulder. "I'll try to be more careful. That's one thing I hold very dear."

"Mmm, I'm glad." I nuzzled my face into his neck.

Edward traced his fingers lightly up and down my arm. "Bella?"

"Mmm?" I was feeling even more relaxed now.

"Is there something about the patio you object to?"

"No. Why?"

Edward chuckled and let out a small sigh. "I just find it very amusing that there is seating for twelve-- very expensive seating for twelve-- on the patio, and here you lie in a ratty old hammock near the woods. It was the last place I expected to find you. You never fail to surprise me."

I raised myself up on my arm and looked at Edward slyly. "Call me old fashioned, I guess."

Edward smirked at me. "I have something for you." He reached his arm down to the ground and produced a beautifully wrapped, rectangular and flat package.

"What's the occasion?" I asked.

"Call it a summer vacation gift," he said. "I meant to give it to you last night. But... after our conversation, I didn't think it would be the best time to give you gifts."

The irony of that comment almost caused me to exclaim. He _had _given me a gift last night. The very same gift that I wanted to give to _him_. But I decided not to go there.

I looked down at the package and smiled. "Edward, if this was expensive..."

"Don't worry, I didn't spend a dime." He smiled, a little proud of himself.

"Okay," I sighed, and opened the package. I pulled out a thin, sliver tablet, like a flat computer screen.

"It's an electronic book reader," he explained quickly, barely concealing his excitement. "I know how you love your printed books, but this holds 3,500 of them. You can read a lot faster now since your change, so I thought it was suitable to provide you something with a little more capacity. Look, I've already loaded it with all of your favorites." Austen and Bronte stared up at me from the screen as he scrolled through. "Although as often as you read those books as a human, I don't know how you don't have them memorized already," he muttered more to himself than to me.

I knew what this device was. I had seen it splashed across the homepage of my favorite online bookstore for months. And I knew it wasn't cheap.

I looked at him, amazed. "Edward... I... thank you. Thank you so much. I love it." I hugged him. "But I know for a fact that this cost almost five hundred dollars."

Edward smiled. "Just call it a shareholder perk," he said. "And besides, it's not just for pleasure-- I got it for educational purposes, too. I thought you could use it when you go to Dartmouth next year. All the higher reputation schools are starting to use them to replace hard copy texts. I've even loaded it with some of the texts I know you'll need as a freshman."

Dartmouth. We hadn't talked about it much, but it was pretty much decided that I would be attending starting fall of next year, after I'd had this year to adjust to the change.

I relaxed back into Edward's shoulder and started playing with my gift, perusing all of its features and the texts, several hundred or so, that Edward had pre-loaded. We lay like this for a while, Edward playing with my hair and staring up at the stars. "Hmm, looks like the clouds are rolling in," he commented casually.

It was relaxing lying here like this, a touch of humidity to the usually arid mountain air.

I remarked occasionally on some of Edward's book choices. "_Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants_, Edward? _Really?_"

He laughed. "I think it's good to broaden one's horizons from time to time, Bella. Doesn't all of that romantic nineteenth century literature ever get old?"

"I'll remember you said that when I see you reading _The History of Western Philosophy_ for the hundredth time." He laughed again and kissed my forehead.

Suddenly, something in the title list caught my eye. _From Antiquity to Modernity: Reconciling Pre-Modern Values with a Post-Modern World_. I laid down the reader and snuggled closer into Edward's chest.

Broadening one's horizons, indeed.


	4. Chapter 4: Parental Guidance

Chapter Four: Parental Guidance

_Boom!_ Thunder clashed and clanged against the house like an angry god. Lightning flashed and strobed, periodically flooding our turret bedroom with brightness. The morning rain fell in a forceful, powerful downpour, splattering against the windows with a heavy, staccato _plip, plop_.

Edward moaned. "Mmm, Bellaaaah." His voice was both husky and velvety in my ear.

Thunder boomed again, and I felt his arms grip my back tighter as I straddled him. I had overtaken him forcefully and needfully, wedging him against the headboard in a sitting position. We were both still fully clothed, and I could feel the heat of Edward's body begging to me through the thin layers-- desperate for skin-to-skin contact. I grasped his head firmly in my hands and tilted it back against the fabric-covered wood, pulling his hair so roughly that he grunted.

"Yes, Edward?" I asked before I attacked his neck, my lips seeking it hard and fast. I nipped at his ear.

"Ahhh," I felt his hips writhe anxiously below me, "what... what are you _doing_ to me?"

I reached one hand to his waist and around to his backside, rocking his hips more closely into me. He hissed at the increased friction.

"What does it," thunder crashed again, "_feel _like I'm doing to you, Edward?"

"Unnhh, it feels like you're trying to kill me. Where did all of this naughtiness come from?" He gripped the flesh of my rear with his palms.

Well, it certainly hadn't arrived suddenly. Much like the clouds now causing this morning storm had rolled in overnight, it had accumulated slowly; it had stewed inside of me all night. After returning inside from our stint on the hammock, we had spent the night in bed, reading and cuddling. Conversation was light and infrequent, which was good, because my mind was definitely otherwise occupied. As I had gazed down at the digital book reader Edward had gifted to me that evening, I scanned the text of _Pride and Prejudice _without processing the words. I was thinking about Edward. And the more I thought about Edward, the more agitated I became. Agitated that now, two evenings in a row, he had given me things that I desired without asking for. Our first evening here, _I _had tried desperately to give something to _him. _ But he had refused it because he didn't think it was "proper." I was tired of doing all of the receiving. Tired and agitated... _very_ agitated.

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked lowly as I licked a line up Edward's neck.

"Ohh... god," he exhaled loudly, "no. _Please_ don't stop, Bella."

I lifted the bottom of Edward's shirt and ran the backs of my fingers tantalizingly across his perfect stomach, momentarily dipping them slightly below the waistband of his pants. The feel of my touch on his bare skin caused him to jerk so violently that the bed shook at the same time that thunder wracked the house again.

Truth be told, at any moment my body was at risk of reacting the same as Edward's-- not only by jerking, but also exploding, attacking or... bursting into flames. I had spent the last forty-five minutes licking and teasing and touching without allowing Edward to reciprocate. I had been in the driver's seat, and from Edward's perspective, what I was doing was all an attempt to drive him crazy. What he didn't know, however, was that I had nearly driven myself crazy as well.

Frankly, I didn't know how I had made it this far. At seeing Edward's reactions-- his beautiful face twisted up into the sexiest pleas of masculine yearning, his kissable lips finding themselves in constant contact with his tongue or in the clutches of his teeth, and his hips circling and lifting off the bed, insistent to make contact with me-- I could feel the control I had tried so hard to maintain slipping further and further away.

But this wasn't arbitrary for me-- there was meaning and reason behind what I was doing here. So I took a deep breath and steeled my resolve.

"I'll keep going as long as you want me to, Edward," I was staring at him seriously, "on one condition."

"Anything," he rasped. His dark eyes pleaded with me as his hands tightened on my waist. Damn, he was beautiful. I would never tire of looking at him. _Not helping._

"You tell me what to do. Every move I make must be an instruction by you. You stop giving instructions, I stop. Got it?" I raised an eyebrow sultrily.

"All... all right," said Edward. He looked conflicted, his intense desire now mixed with apprehension. "Where should I begin?"

"Just take it one step at a time, darling." I leaned in and kissed him as softly and slowly as I could. "What do you want at this moment?" God, he tasted so good. I knew what _I _wanted most at this moment.

"Mmm," Edward closed his eyes at the taste of the kiss, "I want to feel the bare skin of your chest."

"Then tell me what I need to do," I whispered against his lips.

Edward opened his topaz eyes fully and stared into mine. "Take off your shirt, love."

Thunder continued to rumble as Edward's lips parted and he watched me slowly unbutton my top. I let it hang only semi-open for a moment after I undid the last button, my bra barely visible to him through the now separated fabric. Ever more slowly, I reached one hand up to my shoulder and pushed away the sleeve, shrugging my shoulder very slightly and blinking sideways at Edward as I did so. I repeated the same action on the opposite sleeve and let the shirt fall.

Edward was watching me with rapt attention. His face was now still as stone except for one feature: his eyes, completely darkened and glued to my form, which danced and shone with excitement. I could feel his strong gaze on every minute movement I made. My skin now exposed, I ran one hand delicately across the flat plane of my stomach and traced my fingers up the contours of my waist... and eventually to my still-covered breasts.

Edward's sharp breath broke the silence and his stillness. He closed his eyes momentarily and swallowed as he clenched his fists. "You," said Edward in a strained voice, "are so beautiful, so exquisite, so perfect. I will never get enough. My eyes will never quench their thirst to drink in the sight of you."

_Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you. _I responded to Edward's compliment by clasping his hands in mine and smiling.

"What now, my love?" I asked in hardly a whisper.

In a shaky voice, Edward softly replied, "Will you kiss me?"

It was agony not to take that request to the max, not to just rush forth and kiss Edward like I had kissed him so many times before during the throes of passion-- hard and strong and full of force. I wanted so ardently to kiss him in a way that would show him exactly how torturous the last hour had been for me.

But I didn't. I didn't because I wanted him to ask me to kiss him that way. I wanted Edward to reach down deep inside of himself and find something there: me. Because whether he believed it or not, I already lived deep inside of Edward. And because I lived deep inside of him, he could ask anything of me just as easily as he could ask it of himself. I had been wishing, hoping, praying he would realize this, or that I could somehow convince him. I wanted him to know that his heart was my heart; his life was my life; everything that I am, he is. Just as I had vowed to him on our wedding day. And because of that, nothing he could ever want could be selfish, because I was already waiting to give it to him. I wanted him to ask me.

Slowly, as slowly as I could physically manage, I lowered my face to Edward's. The moment our lips touched, thunder resounded again and the room hummed with electricity. I was totally overtaken now. The thickness of the electric charge-- not just from the storm but also the magnanimity of our love embodied in this meeting of our lips-- was palpable and inescapably overpowering. The soft noises our lips made as they sought and clasped one another layered over the electric hum like poetry. More than words could ever express, our bodies told each other what we felt, in the most perfect and articulate way.

I hoped my body's language had conveyed to Edward everything I had been trying so desperately to impart with my words.

Edward's lips migrated from my mouth to my neck, and his hands began moving at a slightly faster pace, exploring my hair or smoothing long, soothing strokes down my back and arms. Our lips now apart, our breathing was liberated to be heavier and more frequent.

"Bella..." His voice was like music.

I tried to push through the pleasure I was feeling at Edward's lips on my neck to answer him. All I managed was a soft, "Unnhh?" as I threw my head back at the sensation of his hands on my body.

"Bella... I want..."

My ears perked up immediately. Was Edward about to tell me he wanted something? "Yes, Edward? Tell me what you want. _Please._"

"Oh god, Bella... so many things I want. It just doesn't feel _right _to ask them of you."

I grasped Edward's face in my hands and stared into him. "I _promise _you, Edward. Anything you could ask of me, I have already thought of as something I want to _give _to you myself. And there is nothing wrong about that."

And before Edward could utter his protestations of disbelief, it hit me. Of _course!_ It was so simple. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it before.

"Edward," I said seriously. Using his eyes as steady ground, I made my full effort to still my mind. It was difficult-- I had been panting and about to crack open like the thunder clouds outside just a moment before, and I still wasn't very good at this, which was why I didn't do it very often. But somehow, I managed it. I allowed the rubber band inside my head to bend and stretch to grant Edward entrance.

At witnessing my provocative mental imagery, Edward was catapulted into action. Just as more thunder boomed, he lunged for me, pulling me roughly and fully on top of him so that we were completely prostrate on the bed now. I was done for; he had caught me so off guard that I had no hope of chastising him for breaking the rules. I succumbed to the passion I had been holding inside for so long, and the rubber band snapped back into place.

Frantically and furiously, our bodies attempted hasty contact at every available point. I felt Edward's firm but soft mouth purse and mold around my lips; felt his solid, strong limbs encase and protect mine; felt our pelvises and our chests reach and press and weld to each other, all the while wanting more, more, more. And of course, our hands. Our hands grabbed and groped and sought each other at every opportunity. I felt a small tug and realized Edward had snapped my bra and discarded it. At this rate, our clothes would cease to exist and it would all be over in about two seconds.

Lightning flashed. I don't know how I was able to do it, but I did. I stopped. I withdrew my lips and laid my hands onto his chest, pushing up and away from his face. He looked confused, his eyebrows wrinkling into a puzzled expression laced first and foremost with concern.

"Are you all right, love? Did I do something to upset you?" Edward said seriously through heavy breaths, his hands placed carefully and lightly now on my face. Of course he would ask that. His first thought was always that he had done something wrong, always questioning if he were at fault for causing me discomfort. I made a silent vow to break him of that.

"Of _course _not, Edward," I replied, equally as breathlessly. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. "Remember? You can't hurt me anymore." I flexed a bicep and threw him a teasing smile.

Edward didn't return my smile. He sunk his head back onto the bed and exhaled. "That's not exactly what I meant, Bella. I know I can't hurt you physically now," his voice lowered and trailed off, "thank god..."

He quickly recovered from the distraction of his thoughts. "But it doesn't mean I can just have my way with you, any time I please. It doesn't mean I can stop respecting you. I don't want to push you into anything you're uncomfortable with."

I sighed sharply and lowered my forehead to his. "Edward, I would hope that little glimpse into my mind you got just now would tell you something. I would hope it would tell you that there is _nothing_, and I do mean nothing," I chuckled, "I am uncomfortable doing with you."

Edward looked slightly embarrassed for a moment. He looked to the side as his tousled hair fell against the bed in wayward locks. "Well," he said quietly, a hint of a grin creeping to his face, "um, yes... I will admit that was rather... revelatory." Now the grin had erupted full force and he was looking at me straight on.

I grinned back and chuckled a little. "See?" I said. "I _want _these things with you, Edward. Not simply because I think _you _want them. But because I want to give them to you."

I lowered my head again and hesitated my lips only millimeters away from his for several moments. We savored the electricity between us until I finally spoke in a whisper. "You don't even have to ask me."

Edward's lips lightly grazed mine. "You really love me, don't you?" he whispered back.

"More than you'll ever know," I replied. "So I hope you'll let me try to show you how much."

"I think that can be arranged." He kissed me softly again. "I'm just going to need some time, Bella, to work up to some of your more... exotic expressions of love." His eyes fluttered closed for a moment and his jaw tightened.

I could tell which of my mental images he was picturing. His eyes opened, and the silhouettes of his thoughts seemed to dance across them. "And when I say that, Bella," he whispered, his voice laced with desire, "I don't mean I need to work up to the idea of _enjoying_ them. Believe me when I tell you I desire you in _every _way possible. And I _will_ have you in every way possible... one day."

I did believe him. I was past the days of wondering if Edward's holding back meant he didn't want me in the ways that I wanted him. The sealing together of our fates had bolstered my confidence in myself and in my understanding of his devotion to me. It felt good. Better than good-- it felt perfect. Strong. Indestructible and solid.

And that meant I could be patient.

I kissed him. "Then it's a good thing time is on our side."

A genuine smile consumed Edward's face, bringing it to its maximum beauty and brilliancy. "Yes," he agreed, "it's a _very _good thing."

I smiled back hugely, mostly because I simply couldn't help it; it was an involuntary bodily response to Edward's happiness. "Well," I said seductively, "what do you say we start working up to eternity with some of the more _tame _images you just witnessed?"

Edward growled as thunder simultaneously rolled outside. There was no question as to which sound was the more powerful.

****

The rain, thunder and lightning had carried on, relentless, all day. And through all of it, Edward and I had carried on with what we had started in the bedroom that morning. It wasn't so much that going outside in the rain would have bothered us-- vampires weren't squeamish about things like that the way humans were, one thing I think Edward had grown to appreciate about me since my change-- but it was more that there was simply nothing we would have rather done all day than make love. So that was what we did, newlywed-style. We didn't even need a _Do Not Disturb_ sign for the door, another thing that made me love _Brownings' Abode,_ beside the facts that it was beautiful and I was there with Edward, all the more_. _

I had lain in Edward's arms for the past thirty minutes, enjoying the feel of his chest against my cheek. Edward kissed the top of my head and made to leave the bed, uncovering his muscular long legs from the sheet.

"Where're you going?" I asked in a voice that started lazily and concluded with a pout. Any time Edward slipped away from my touch was reason for despair, but especially today, when I hadn't removed my body from his for the past eight hours.

I watched longingly as Edward pulled on a pair of boxers and ruffled his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry, love," he smiled at me ruefully, "but there's one errand I need to run, and today is the perfect day for it."

I watched him walk into the closet and emerge again wearing a pair of jeans and a green t-shirt that did amazing things for his eyes.

"Errands?" I asked poutily. "Since when does vacation include errands? Come back to bed right now." I folded my arms across the front of my chest and dropped them into it with a childish jerk.

Edward's laughter lit up his face into an expression that showed his amusement at my juvenile behavior.

"It won't take long, love," he said as he bent over the bed and kissed my head again. "It's something I promised Carlisle I would do while we were here. I need to go see the caretaker down the mountain and give him a few instructions. Since it's rainy today, it's a good day for me to be seen-- no chance of any unwanted attention from my gleaming in the sunlight."

He flashed a grin that showed all of his teeth. _Too late_ _for that_, I thought. _You gleam with or without light from the sun._

"Well, okay..." I said in a small voice. "But hurry. How long do you think you'll be?"

"Probably no more than an hour. It depends on whether he's home or not. I might have to wait around." He brushed his hand across my cheek. "But I'll make it up to you when I return. Promise." His sweet breath rolled over me in waves as he whispered.

_Please, please, please, please, please hurry. _"Miss you already."

"I'll count the seconds," he replied, "and give you a kiss for every one when I come back." He kissed me once... twice... three times, and exited the room.

I let out a heavy sigh and fell back onto the bed, bringing the sheet up over my head. What in the world would I do with myself for a whole hour? Edward _had _always told me my patience was supposed to have improved since my change, but that just didn't seem to be happening, at least not where he was concerned. Time always seemed to fly by faster when he was near and even slower when he was away. It was almost worse than when I had been human.

I contemplated reading, but I just wasn't in the mood. Reading was an activity I enjoyed doing with Edward now. There was something about the companionship of the silence that soothed me and created a comforting rhythm to the words and my suspension of disbelief. Reading by myself now would have felt terribly lonely.

_Well, I _guess _I could put some clothes on, _I thought. I was hoping Edward and I would continue the day's activities upon his return, but something about the idea of still being in bed and undressed after he had been so productive made me feel like a bum.

I groaned and forced myself into the closet.

After I had dressed, I stood in the room and looked around, basically twiddling my thumbs and trying to think of something to do. Would eternity be like this for me? Constantly looking for stimulation and ways to fill the inactive voids? If so, it was definitely a good thing that I was spending eternity with Edward. This could get awfully tedious without him.

And then something about that thought made me wince: this was what every second of Edward's life had been like for him before me. I suddenly felt very spoiled and selfish. Edward had spent over a century feeling just like this, and I was complaining about one measly hour.

I really needed to whip my perspective into shape.

Determined to prove to myself that I _was _actually still capable of entertaining myself without Edward, I decided to peruse the house. Other than the "tour" Edward had given me upon our first arrival, I hadn't had much of a chance to actually look at the house more than cursorily. And something about the idea of doing that on my own, where I would be free to let my thoughts wander, was appealing to me.

As I made my way down the winding staircase and into the shiny-floored ballroom, I started thinking about _Brownings' Abode _and what it meant to Carlisle and Esme. You could tell a lot about people by their home. Or in Carlisle and Esme's case, their _homes._ I chuckled to myself.

I could tell _Brownings' Abode _was certainly a special one to them. It represented a time in their lives when they felt newness and the exciting start of eternity together, much like Edward and I were feeling now. I knew Edward felt guilty-- exceedingly more guilty than he needed to-- that we didn't have a special place to symbolize the start of our life together like this. But I didn't mind. And not just because I was adamantly opposed to the idea of Edward spending atrocious amounts of money. But because I was happy to be_ here_ and sharing in something that was clearly special to Carlisle and Esme. It made me feel closer to them, in a way. Being here, in their home that represented such an important landmark in their lives, it almost felt like they were near me.

I smiled at the thought of that as I meandered my way through the main living area, past the bookshelves and the giant glass windows. As I gazed out at the view Edward and I had shared at sunset a few evenings ago, I couldn't help but feel my heart swell. Carlisle and Esme weren't just my in-laws. They weren't just two of my favorite people in the whole world. They were my parents, just as they were Edward's.

As much as I had always loved Charlie and Renee-- as much as they had always been my parents, my providers and my origin-- they just couldn't give me what Carlisle and Esme did now: a paragon of lasting and eternal love.

And in Edward's and my case, that was not only pertinent and highly meaningful, but it was also valuable. We were going to need Carlisle and Esme. We were going to need them to guide us, to love us, to help us through our mistakes and share with us in our triumphs as we navigated this new life together. They were necessary and valuable. And it also helped that I just liked them so darn much.

I turned and walked to the other side of the living area, toward the staircase to the turret that we hadn't explored because Edward had said it was only used for storage. When I opened the door and looked up the winding staircase-- identical to the one leading to our bedroom-- an overwhelming sense of curiosity overcame me. I wasn't exactly sure why, knowing all that was probably up there were dusty old boxes full of clothes, recreation equipment and art supplies, but I yearned to walk up these stairs. And I felt a little bit guilty about it. Would Edward, or more importantly, Esme and Carlisle, consider it snooping if I took one little peek? Edward certainly hadn't asked me not to go into this area, but I suddenly felt like Belle from _Beauty and the Beast_-- forbidden to enter the secret wing of the mansion, but impossible to resist it.

I warily placed one foot on the first step. Once I had made that move, I figured I was committed and flew up the staircase at full vampire speed.

It looked about like I had expected. It was dark, quiet and dusty from misuse, yet still surprisingly comfortable even for a storage space (it _was _a Cullen storage space, after all). A few storage boxes were stacked against the walls, but there wasn't a whole lot up here other than an old love seat. I walked to the windows, just like the ones in our bedroom, and looked through them to see the view of the rain falling outside from this part of the house. I swiped my fingers through the dust on the sill and wiped them off on my shorts.

I turned to walk back toward the door. I felt a little silly that I had felt so compelled to come up here to find something-- I don't know what-- that I had some idea would be so much more intriguing than what it really was or was meant to be: a storage area. Just a boring old storage area. I shrugged my shoulders and laughed at myself for my romantic whim, ready to walk back down the stairs. I guessed I had been trying _too _hard to entertain myself while Edward was away.

And then something on the floor caught my eye. It was inconspicuous enough, just some cream colored writing paper folded into a rectangle. But it was the beautiful handwriting that stood out. It was like calligraphy that one would see on a sixteenth century royal edict. It was perfect, elegant and etched in the darkest black ink.

I bent down to pick it up, and the guilt I had felt at the foot of the stairs came surging back. To my eternal love-, the front of the rectangle read. Was this what I thought it was? I fingered the creamy paper, now soft and pliable as leather after many years, and tried to decide what to do. I could put it back on the floor where I found it, walk to the door and down the stairs and never think another thought about it. But if I opened it now, there was no turning back. I would be an official snooper.

I decided one look wouldn't hurt. I would read it, put it back where I found it and leave the room. It was just one letter. What was the harm in that?

I took a breath and unfolded the flimsy paper. The writing on the inside was just as beautiful, every letter identical in size and perfect, and every line perfectly spaced. When I had gotten over the beauty of the script, I read.

My own Belovèd, who hast lifted me

From this drear flat of earth where I was thrown,

And, in betwixt the languid ringlets, blown

A life-breath, till the forehead hopefully

Shines out again, as all the angels see,

Before thy saving kiss! My own, my own,

Who camest to me when the world was gone,

And I who looked for only God, found thee!

I find thee; I am safe, and strong, and glad.

As one who stands in dewless asphodel,

Looks backward on the tedious time he had

In the upper life,---so I, with bosom-swell,

Make witness, here, between the good and bad,

That Love, as strong as Death, retrieves as well.

-E.B. Browning

_My Beloved C--_

_Thou hast indeed lifted me from whence I was thrown and camest to me when the world was gone, with the life-breath of thy saving "kiss." But I'm afraid this poem does not do you justice-- our love is much, much stronger than death._

_Eternally yours,_

_E_

A love note. A love note from Esme to Carlisle! Okay, now I really _did _feel like a snooper. I felt like I had intruded on something intimate. But this was so beautiful, so pure, so... Esme. I smiled as I pondered the depth of love held within that tiny woman. It seemed bottomless. I wondered how Edward would feel if I wrote him a love letter. Would he appreciate it or, coming from me, would he laugh? This was definitely more of an Esme thing to do than a Bella one.

I decided I had intruded enough and made the decision to leave. Besides, the hour was almost up and Edward would be back at any moment.

I held the letter for a moment, trying to decide how best to leave it. I hesitated to place it back on the floor because that felt unhelpful. Surely this belonged somewhere in one of these boxes? It seemed a shame to risk it getting lost.

I opened the lid on the nearest one and nearly gasped. There were hundreds, possibly thousands, of letters just like these, piled haphazardly into the box. While there were many more just like this one on creamy paper, some were on a red-tinted stationery, with slightly different, more masculine, handwriting. Carlisle. I smiled, picturing Carlisle and Esme lovingly writing these to one another. It was just like something out of one of my novels.

Something in the back corner of the box stood out in contrast to all of the letters. It was dark and ratty, stained with the passage of time. A book. A very _old _book.

I picked it up gingerly and read the title. _Sonnets from the Portuguese _by E.B. Browning. I flipped over the cover and almost gasped again. The first page bore an inscription in messy cursive.

_To C.C.--_

_For your friendship, your companionship, and your life, a million thanks. I shall always remember you in Italia._

_E.B.B._

So... Carlisle had known Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Wow. But not all that surprising, I supposed.

I began flipping through the book. The sonnets called to me from the pages. I had read a few of Browning's poems, but never the whole collection, and suddenly I was desperate to sit down on the love seat and read it from start to finish. This was a book I had often heard described as a "celebration of love." It was an anthology of the first year of marriage between Elizabeth and her husband, Robert Browning.

The idea of that seemed extremely relevant and important. But there was just no time. Edward would be here any second; I could feel his approach.

I made the decision in an instant. I would take the book with me and sneak glimpses at it if Edward decided to go on any more "errands." Before we left _Brownings' Abode_, I would be sure to return it to this box.

I closed the lid on the box, sprinted down the stairs and through the house to our turret, placed the book in the vanity drawer, and had just enough time to position myself into a casual pose on the bed with my digital book reader before Edward strolled through the door.

He was dripping wet from the rain, his hair clumped in large dark tendrils against his face and his green t-shirt plastered against his muscular chest. His eyes lit up when he saw me.

I made no move to go to him, preferring to tease him by acting casual. "Back so soon?" I asked airily, peeking one eye up from my book reader.

"Mmm hmm," said Edward, standing his ground and trying to conceal a smile at my feigned nonchalance.

I smirked at him as he dripped onto the floor. "You know, they do make these things called umbrellas, Edward," I teased. "They're not just helpful for humans."

"I was always under the impression that you liked me wet," he replied, still struggling to hide his grin.

I was in front of him in an instant, my hands gripping his soaked hair and feeling the dampness of his shirt against my body.

"Only when I'm wet with you," I said against his lips.

"Mmm, then you should let me work on that," he replied, carrying me to the bed.

And we ended the day just as we had started it. The rain and thunder raged on as I felt the life-breath of my beloved's saving kiss.


	5. Chapter 5: Black Sands Beach

"I think I like this eternity thing," I whispered into the silence.

Edward's sweet laughter bathed the room in melody, and I felt his fingertips caress the skin of my back. "I would have to concur... now that you're a part of it." His lips brushed against my temple.

We had remained in this exact location-- in our turret bedroom, on the luxurious bed-- for the past thirty-six hours. From the time Edward had returned from the caretaker's house and all through the next day, the rain had continued to fall. The thunder had abated to a low rumble that grew more distant as it moved further east. But the rain-- the rain had flooded and engulfed our mountaintop as if the bursting clouds had siphoned their moisture directly from the sea. The downpour had seemed endless.

And so had our lovemaking. As the water had gushed in heavy, unrelenting torrents, Edward and I had relished each other with a thirst that no amount of water could ever quench. The last two days had been a blur of twisted bed sheets, messy, disheveled hair and the soft sounds of our kisses and moans.

Amazing that we had now spent two sunsets like this and yet... somehow it had only felt like the blink of an eye. Would I ever get my fill of Edward? Was that even a possibility? I was positively glowing on the inside at the prospect of spending eternity with him, and eternity still didn't seem nearly long enough. I felt irrevocably spoiled.

"Edward, you feel _so_ good." I closed my eyes and savored the feel of being wrapped in his arms, my back leaning against his bare chest.

"It's nothing compared to how good _you_ feel, love." He tightened his grip around me and breathed in the scent of my hair. "And how good you smell," he breathed in deeply again, "and of course... how delicious you taste." His lips made their way to the side of my neck.

I couldn't stifle a moan. After two full days of feeling Edward's lips, hands and all the glorious rest of him on my body, I was, if possible, more sensitive, more responsive and more delirious with desire for him than ever before. I had always heard stories of married couples becoming accustomed to one another, of the sensations of their touch and their emotions becoming numbed after years of constant closeness. But the idea of that ever happening with Edward was ludicrous to me. Not only ludicrous-- it was sheer lunacy. The more I got, the more I wanted. And the more I wanted, the more Edward gave. As Edward had once described of my effect on him, he was like my own personal addictive substance. I was hooked and had no desire to be cured.

"Edward," I gasped, as I felt his soft kisses intensify into harder suckling at the skin of my neck. "Ahh," I exhaled, trying to articulate a thought. I was failing miserably. His hands crept their way down to the backs of my thighs, massaging the skin there with his fingertips in circles that varied from firm grasps of my flesh to smooth, light strokes with his fingernails.

"Yes, Isabella?" he asked heavily below my ear.

"Edward..." Where was my thought? His hands had completely stripped me of all coherency, and all I could seem to do was repeat his name like an idiot.

"Mmm, you know how I love hearing you say my name," I could feel Edward smirking against my skin, "but I get the feeling you have something more to say." His fingers slowly walked their way up my thighs and onto my backside.

I gasped again. "Yes..." I half-closed my eyes, "yes, I do, and you're making it _extremely _difficult." Not only was the position of his hands distracting me, but I was now pressed up against him, having turned fully around to face him, and the heat of our abdomens intermingled and sent the most delightful burning sensation through my middle.

"Hmm," he murmured, pulling back from my neck to look into my eyes, "I see I still seem to have that effect on you from time to time." He was doing it again-- dazzling me. And he was _clearly _enjoying it.

I forced myself to avert his gaze and take a thought-clearing breath. "From _time to time_, Edward? It's near constant. And it only seems to be getting worse. I really thought this vampire thing would increase my tolerance, not make me _more_ susceptible to your talents," I mumbled grumpily.

Edward chuckled and scooped me up playfully into a sitting position, legs and all, into his arms. "I _love _you, Bella. Oh, how I love you. I can never say it enough."

I ducked my head and snuggled into his chest. "I'll never tire of hearing it. I wish eternity were longer," I whispered.

I felt the soft rumble of Edward's laughter again. "You sure about that? Sure you're not going to get sick of me?"

I pulled back to look at him, aghast at his blasphemy, but still lighthearted. I put my hand over his mouth. "Edward, I forbid you from ever saying, or even thinking, such a thing!"

I felt the vibrations of his laughter through my hand and saw his eyes sparkle. He reached up to grasp my wrist and placed his lips against my palm. "I apologize," he said sultrily against my hand, closing his eyes as his nose nuzzled my skin before he kissed it. Electricity tingled its way up my arm and to my chest, causing my breath to catch. How could his lips on my _palm, _of all places, cause these waves of desire to roll off of me?

I felt my eyes roll back into my head a little, and I closed them momentarily. "Edward?" I whispered.

"Mmm hmm?" He was still highly engrossed in the skin on my palm, fingers and wrist. His bottom lip rolled and flicked against them in the sexiest manner, his tongue occasionally making contact with my fingertips as he lightly mouthed them. My shallow breathing was becoming audible as it passed through my throat.

I swallowed in an attempt to locate my voice. "What I was going to ask earlier... mmmm..." He was lightly scraping his bottom teeth along the pad of my thumb. I looked at the wall and started speaking again, with difficulty. "What I was going to _suggest, _was that perhaps we go out for a few hours this morning? You know, not because I don't _enjoy _what we're doing here..." Edward lifted his eyes up from my hand, my knuckles still underneath his lips. "Just... you know, for some fresh air. And because it's not raining anymore." I looked toward the window.

Not only was it not raining anymore, but it was positively beautiful outside. The sun streamed through the little windows in brilliant, yellow rays that indicated no less than a cloudless blue sky. I saw the sunlight reflecting off the green leaves of the trees and had a yearning to feel the same on my skin.

Edward lowered my hand and brushed my hair behind my ear with his. "Hmm," he said evenly. Oh no, had I offended him by making him think I didn't want to continue things here?

I continued, "That, and... well, the other reason is that we probably ought to get out at least a _little _bit while we're here. You know the family is going to want a play-by-play of what we did, and we don't want any more crap from Emmett about our active sex life when we don't have anything to report. I don't know how many more of those comments I can take, even though he refrains when Nessie is around. Thank _god._" I would have done more than beat Emmett at arm wrestling if he had tried that.

Edward laughed. "Actually, Bella," he said softly, playing with my earlobe, "I was just about to make the same suggestion. I thought perhaps you might like to go to the beach today?"

The beach! We _were _near it, weren't we? It was easy to forget that the coast was so close when we were secluded up in this mountain hideaway.

"That sounds wonderful," I replied, smiling at him. How did he _do_ that? Since we had gotten here, I had followed Edward's lead, not thinking any further in advance than each moment as they arrived. But Edward always thought of everything three steps ahead, always anticipated my desires before I even knew what they were myself. "You know, you need to start letting me plan _something. _ If you keep taking care of me this way, I'm going to feel pretty useless by eternity's end."

"It's a good thing I don't plan on eternity concluding, then," he replied. "Sorry, Bella, you'll just have to get accustomed to feeling useless. I intend to spoil you forever." He grinned at me hugely.

I tilted my head and smiled, feeling as if my heart would burst with joy at any moment. "Well, just don't be put off if I surprise _you_ one day, Edward. Because I _will _surprise you with something, if it's the last thing I do."

He raised his eyebrows at me incredulously and said, "Alright, love." He was clearly humoring me. Apparently Edward thought he was too clever for surprises to work on him. Hmpf. We would see about _that. _Someday.

"Well," he started to pull away and leave the bed, still holding onto my hand, "I should go downstairs and get a few things together before we leave."

"What kinds of things?"

"Beach things, of course. You didn't think we would go to the beach without the proper accoutrements, did you?"

Of course not. How could I ever doubt Mr. Constant Preparedness? "Oh. Well, okay... I'll miss you."

It felt silly saying that, knowing he wasn't really going anywhere-- he would still be in the same house-- but the idea of him leaving for even a moment was difficult.

"I'll just be downstairs," he smiled, kissing my hand again. "I'll let you get ready and come get you in a little while. I suppose you'll want to put on a bathing suit... or... not." He raised an eyebrow.

Suddenly, I jumped to my feet on the bed and threw myself around Edward, my legs wrapping around his middle so that he was fully supporting my weight with his hands and grasping my bottom.

"Okay, who are you, and what have you done with my husband?" Edward laughed loudly at my attack and my comment. "Edward Cullen, that was a positively sinful thing to say."

He looked embarrassed for a moment and parted his lips to say something, most likely an apology. "I liked it," I whispered silkily into his ear before he could speak.

A smile spread across Edward's face and he leant in to kiss me, softly and slowly, but passionately. "My wife..." he whispered.

"Yes," I sighed, resting my forehead on his. "Your wife. Yours. To do whatever you want with."

"Mmm... I plan on it."

He lowered me to the bed, hovering over me, and kissed my lips delicately. "You're making it extremely difficult to leave this room, you know."

"Mmm, then don't," I purred, tracing my hands down his chest.

Edward's eyes closed and he made an effort to pull himself away. "I want you to see this beach, Bella. It's... important to me."

Well, I could never deny a request like that. I begrudgingly unwound my arms and legs from him to let him retreat, bringing my hands above my head to where my hair splayed out across the bed. My feet loosened their grip on Edward and fell to the bed, my legs placed on either side of his hips.

But he didn't move; he just stared down at me with parted lips, his coppery hair almost falling into his eyes.

"Edward?" I questioned.

He let out a breath. "You look so enticing right now, Bella, spread out on the bed like this." He wrapped his hands around my waist and traced my belly button with his thumb. "I don't think you realize how difficult it is for me to pull away at this moment." He lowered himself to me, allowing our chests to touch. "So warm... so inviting. You are the most beautiful and mesmerizing creature I have ever laid eyes upon."

"Mmm, then _don't _pull away," I sighed. "Make love to me," I whispered, barely audible.

Edward groaned. "I _want _to, Bella, but I'm afraid if I start, I won't be able to stop. Your body is positively incarcerating." His right hand ran up and down my outer thigh.

I could tell he was struggling; torn between two things he desperately wanted. It went against every searing desire coursing through me at the moment, but I decided to help. "Well," I said, lightly running my fingers through his hair, "what would you say if I promised, in exchange for stopping now, to make the longest," I kissed him, running my tongue against his upper lip, "slowest," my hand gripped his hip, my fingernails digging into it, "_deepest _love to you tonight?" I grasped his backside with both of my hands and thrust his hips against me.

The growl that emanated out of Edward's chest reverberated off the walls. His voice was deep, low and primal when he spoke, and he looked into me more piercingly than I had ever felt his eyes on me. More piercing than the first time he saw me naked. More piercing than the first time he told me he loved me. More piercing even than the first day he saw me in the biology lab, thirsting for my blood.

"Well," he said, a veil of tenuous steadiness placed over what sounded like near incontrollable lust, "I would say I have never been more impatient for a day to go by in my whole existence."

I stared back at him firmly. "Me. Either." My voice was strong and telling of my determination, and I felt strangely sexy in my confidence.

The hint of a smile turned up the corner of Edward's mouth and he finally forced himself to pull away. The muscles in his arms contracted in the most delicious manner as he pushed himself up off the bed. When he reached standing, he shook his head, seemingly to clear it, and placed a hand distractedly to his hair. He pulled on a pair of jeans and exhaled. "I, uh... I think I'm going to go get those things now. I'll come back for you in a few minutes." He kept his hands in his hair as he walked out of the room, significantly more slowly than usual.

As I smiled and watched him turn on his heel to exit the room, I could have sworn I saw him sway slightly. I giggled to myself girlishly, placing my fingers over my mouth. It wasn't often that I discombobulated Edward, but I felt like I had just scored a few Dazzle Points.

I forced myself out of the messy bed and into the closet. I peered into my Louis Vuitton suitcase and searched for the one bathing suit I had packed, a black one-piece I had owned for years. I had always liked that bathing suit. It was simple, it fit well and it didn't draw much attention to my body at the pool or the beach. And that was just how I preferred it.

I rummaged around inside the bag. Now, where was that thing? I thought I had packed it right between my khaki shorts and my green ones. In fact, I was _sure_ I had packed it there.

I was starting to think Edward's no-bathing-suit idea was a real possibility when something crinkly and paper-like caught my attention at the very bottom of the bag. It was attached to something black-- something black that was definitely not my old bathing suit. I could tell because this garment consisted of _way _less fabric.

I pulled the paper and the fabric out of the bag. It was just as I had suspected and feared: _Alice._ Her bubbly script beamed up at me enthusiastically from the paper. I could almost see the words bouncing up and down.

_Bella,_

_You didn't _really_ think there was any way I would let you go on a summer vacation without appropriate swimwear, did you? You might be mad now, but don't worry, Edward is going to love it. You can thank me later!_

_Love,_

_Alice_

That little sneak. How had she managed this? She had to have snuck into our cottage somehow the night before the family left for Canada, while Edward, Renesmee and I were hanging out at the mansion.

"_I suppose you'll want to put on a bathing suit... or.... not." _Edward's words from a few moments earlier rang in my memory. I fleetingly wondered if Edward had played a hand in assisting Alice's covert fashion mission. Because looking at the fabric in my hands, I was very close to deciding that I would _rather _go naked than wear this piece of dental floss that some daring person had decided to call a bathing suit.

Alice had tried to talk me into a new bathing suit during our last online shopping trip, and I had flatly refused all of her selections. Every suit she had suggested was two pieces, held together by tiny strings and even tinier triangles of material. After enough of my complaining-- and after I promised to let her pick out three more pieces of the skimpiest lingerie she could find-- Alice had relented and said I could keep wearing the "grandma suit." Clearly, though, that had all been a ruse.

I held up the offending suit with two fingers at arm's length from my body, as if it might bite me. The annoying thing was that this suit _did _still meet my criteria. It was black. And I supposed it was _technically _one piece, if you counted the narrow bit of material that was meant to connect the top and bottom portions along my torso. But those were the only similarities. This "bathing suit" was exactly like something one would see in a Victoria's Secret fashion show. I hadn't even put it on yet, but I could already picture how it would look-- boosting the places that needed to be boosted, the nearly non-existent scraps of material following the curves of my body. This thing was meant more for ogling than for swimming.

"_Alice_," I grumbled aloud. I dropped the suit, stalked over to the vanity table with her note and grabbed a pen from the drawer, sitting down on the bench dramatically with a huff. I flipped Alice's note over and began scribbling.

_Since you seem to know everything, Alice, I'm sure you saw me writing this note. I'm also sure that just about right now, you're envisioning the rage you'll have to contend with when I see you again._

_Lousy suit stealer._

_-B_

I shoved the note aside and turned to shoot a dirty glare back at the suit in a tiny pile on the floor. I would deal with that thing in a few minutes.

Where in the world was Edward? Shouldn't he be back by now? How many beach things did we need?

I sighed and rested my elbows on the vanity, my sour expression peering back at me from the mirror. I heard something drop to the floor and realized I had accidentally knocked the pen with my elbow. I picked it up, and when I opened the vanity drawer more fully to put the pen back in its place, my mood instantly lifted and became reverent.

I gingerly pulled _Sonnets from the Portuguese_-- the very old book I had found in Esme and Carlisle's private love note collection in the storage turret a few days ago-- from the drawer and rested it on the vanity top. The contemplative mood this poetry had put me in then, desperate to curl up on the love seat in the turret tower and read it cover to cover, came surging back.

I felt a small smile on my lips as I carefully leafed through the old, yellowed pages of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's tribute to her husband. I read through the words-- beautiful, soul moving words-- scrupulously, just savoring them. These poems had always appealed to me, and now I was starting to understand why.

The words were heartfelt, tender and incredibly vulnerable. This was Elizabeth's swan song. I tapped deep into the recesses of my human memories; I had read a little bit about the Brownings before. And now I remembered that it had struck me as a rather moving and redemptive story. Although an accomplished poet, Elizabeth was a sickly invalid with a jealous father who kept her confined to their home. When she met Robert-- a dashing and vivacious man who traveled the world-- they fell in love instantly and carried out their relationship in secret. When they finally married, her father disinherited her and they moved to Italy.

No wonder her poems were so rife with emotion for the man who had saved her from a life barely better than death. I could relate, and I guessed so could Esme.

As I devoured each poem, I couldn't help but apply the strong feelings they evoked in me to what I felt for Edward. There were poems about the affection of their courtship; the importance of God and fate in their relationship; and even some very veiled allusions to their physical lovemaking. But what struck me most was the notion of their love as lasting and eternal.

I stopped at Sonnet XIV and reveled in the words.

If thou must love me, let it be for nought

Except for love's sake only. Do not say

'I love her for her smile---her look---her way

Of speaking gently,---for a trick of thought

That falls in well with mine, and certes brought

A sense of pleasant ease on such a day'---

For these things in themselves, Belovèd, may

Be changed, or change for thee,---and love, so wrought,

May be unwrought so. Neither love me for

Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry,---

A creature might forget to weep, who bore

Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!

But love me for love's sake, that evermore

Thou mayst love on, through love's eternity.

Unconsciously, I repeated the words aloud over and over. _Love me for love's sake._

I looked up from the book, my eyes narrowing pensively as I stared at the patterns the sunlight made on the wooden floor. _Love me for love's sake._ The magnitude of those words struck a chord inside of me that chimed and resounded in perfect harmony.

Edward loved me. I had always known that he loved me, but the meaning behind his words had finally hit me with full force. He didn't just love me for my looks, or my personality, or merely the fact that I loved him back. He loved me for all of those things, plus more. He loved me so much that he was not only willing, but _wanting,_ to die if I couldn't be part of his eternity. He loved me so much that he wouldn't have cared if I had remained human and my hair had turned gray, my teeth had fallen out, and my skin had wrinkled like a prune-- if only that meant he got to spend what time with me that he could. It wasn't about the quantity of his love, of which there was certainly an abundance. It was more about the part of him from which his love for me originated. He loved me sincerely, purely and deeply. Edward loved me for love's sake.

And he could go on loving me for eternity. That was the big difference between the Brownings and Edward and me. There was such a fleetingly human despair to Elizabeth's sonnets; so many of them concluded with the idea that their love was "eternal," but only conditionally so, only until death parted them. Eternal didn't _really_ mean eternal in that sense. For a human, death is inevitable and inescapable. But for Edward and me, our love was eternal in the full definition of the word.

At my full realization of that thought, my heart felt like it would start beating again. I had never been more happy about my decision to cast away my humanity than at this moment.

"Ready to go, love?" His melodic voice soothed and startled me at the same time. I had been so thoroughly caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't heard his approach.

I jumped into action and covertly shoved the book into the vanity table drawer. I wondered if he had caught the movement. "Um, yeah, just... a second," I said, my back still turned to him.

"What are you doing over there?" he asked with a suspicious edge to his voice.

"Just, um, freshening up." I picked up the brush on the vanity and started grooming my hair. When I was done, I hesitantly turned around, afraid of the questioning look I might see on Edward's face.

But instead of wincing, I burst out laughing. "Edward, we're going to the beach for the day, not on a two-week camping trip!" I giggled uproariously. He looked like a loaded down vampire coat rack. Two giant, oblong brown canvas bags, each about six feet in length, were slung over each shoulder. A deflated plastic inner tube encircled his neck, and in each hand he carried two enormous zippered tote bags near to bursting with stuff. What kinds of stuff, I had no idea.

Edward just chuckled and inspected my appearance. "No bathing suit?" he asked slyly.

"Oh yeah," I replied, staring at the pile of threads on the floor. I instinctively looked back at Edward to take in his apparel. He donned flip flops, a pair of _very _low-slung blue swimming trunks that gave me the perfect view of his abs and indented hips, and... no shirt. I had the sudden urge to shed him of everything he was carrying and inspect _that _part of his outfit more closely.

"Is that your bathing suit?" He motioned toward the suit on the floor with his head.

I groaned. "Technically, no," I huffed. "It is _not _my bathing suit. _My _bathing suit seems to have mysteriously disappeared. You wouldn't know anything about that, now would you, Edward?" I put a hand on my hip and raised an eyebrow at him.

Edward tried to suppress a chuckle. "Hmm, could you describe said missing bathing suit?"

I pursed my lips and decided to play along, agitatedly. "Well, let's see... it's a black one-piece. That about covers it."

He smirked and shot his eyes furtively toward the suit. "That looks like a black one-piece."

"One-piece is a relative term here, Edward. One that was taken directly from the fashion vocabulary of someone whose name starts with the letter 'A'. Sound familiar?"

Edward was grinning now and gave up the pretense of the game. "Okay, I will admit that I may have had very _minimal_ involvement in the case of Bella's Missing Bathing Suit. But it was all in good fun. It makes Alice happy."

Well, I couldn't argue with that. I sighed in surrender. "You're right. This is Alice's biggest thrill in life. I should humor her more," I said, leaning over to pick up the suit and figure out just the heck how I was going to get into it. It looked like a medieval torture harness.

"I do have to admit I may have had my own agenda, as well." Edward lowered his voice and looked at me with narrowed eyes. "Honestly, I was sort of hoping it would force you not to wear a swimsuit at all." And with that comment, he turned to walk out the door. "I'll see you downstairs," he said as he glanced over his shoulder.

Out of habit, I told myself to remember to breathe. Not that I really needed to, but it helped after a comment like that.

After lots of groaning, grunting and bemoaning that even my newly acquired vampire dexterity couldn't prevent, I did eventually get into the "bathing suit," refusing to look at myself in the mirror. I topped it off with a black cover-up and black flip flops and pulled my hair up and piled it on top of my head, securing it with an elastic band.

I found Edward waiting for me on the patio. "Ready?" he smiled, the sunlight reflecting off of his skin and making sparkly, iridescent shapes on the flagstone. "You look beautiful, by the way. You're glowing."

"So are you," I replied, reaching up onto my tiptoes to kiss him. "Here, let me carry some of this stuff." I reached to take one of the tote bags from his hand.

I felt his grip tighten. "Absolutely not."

My eyes widened. "Edward, I'm completely empty handed. I refuse to go the whole way with you carrying everything and me carrying nothing."

"Like I said, Bella, get used to feeling useless." He winked at me and grinned. It was clear he wasn't surrendering this one.

Giving up, I scoffed and started walking, muttering, "Absurd," under my breath.

I refused to look at Edward, but I could hear his silent laughter at my use of his favorite adjective for me against him.

The hike to the beach was a good bit longer than the one we had taken hunting a few days prior. We scaled down our mountain and through the dense forest at a fairly quick pace, plowing through leaves, pine needles and over logs and stumps. Occasionally, the scent of an elk or black-tailed deer wafted by, causing a slow burn to demand attention in my throat. Edward seemed to notice and asked if I was thirsty and if I would like to take a hunting detour. Just one week earlier, I probably would have said yes, but this was different somehow. The moment the aroma lessened, I found I could ignore the burn and stay focused on what I wanted most-- to spend this time with Edward and get to the beach. I supposed I was finally starting to grow out of the newborn stage, and it felt good. Not just good... great. I was finally starting to feel normal... at least, closer to what normal was supposed to feel like in this new life.

We kept hiking, contentedly, and eventually the landscape began to level out. The trees became sparser and the faint scent of salt and sand mixed into the earth. As we proceeded, the smells became more pungent. The soil smelled less rich here somehow; it wasn't as dark or peaty with the full-bodied vestiges of decaying Douglas fir trees and chaparral grasses. Rather, it was rich in a different way, with the brighter, more aerated scents of sand, rock, seaweed, salt and algae. A briny breeze floated by and whispered into my ear visions of wide open seas. It heightened my anticipation at the prospect of emerging from this confined, protective forest and into the vastness.

And then came the sounds. I could hear the water roiling and lapping, millions of legless animals swimming and making waves in a giant salty bathtub. Their collective tumult caused the waves to crash hard into the shore with the force of a battering ram. Sea birds' wings fluttered in the wind, and their squawks echoed against the clouds and water.

This was already a much different beach experience than I'd ever had as a human. Our pace slowed as we neared the very edge of the forest, and I felt Edward's eyes on me. I looked at him and smiled, suddenly desperate to touch him.

"Would you put up too much of a fight if I took one of those bags so I could hold your hand?" I asked.

He smiled at me in acquiescence, and I quickly slung the bag over my shoulder and took his warm hand in mine.

"I can't wait to see this with you," he murmured, his eyes expressive.

"Wait," I said, halting us both. "You've never been here before?"

"Well, no, not technically. I've seen it in others' heads, but I've never experienced it firsthand. I suppose I was always waiting... to experience it with you."

I looked down bashfully at our joined hands. Again, I would have blushed if I had still been capable. Edward's love and affection felt particularly overwhelming at this moment.

"Just a few more steps," said Edward, still gazing at me.

I took in a breath as we started walking forward again, hand in hand, and we crossed the dividing line between forest and sea.

The smells and sounds had been nothing compared to the sight. The first thing that struck me was the blueness of the sky. It wasn't just blue-- it was the most complex and mystifying shade of cobalt and indigo I had ever seen, with thin, wispy white whispers of clouds dappling the bluest parts like cotton. Next I noticed the majestic mountains, stretching out and up like giant protectors and enforcers as they meandered their way along the undulating coastline. As the azure water approached the shore, it roughly insisted its way around knobby rocks and reefs that jutted jaggedly above the surface, and then more lightly crept into calm tide pools that rippled and teemed with microscopic life.

But none of this could compete with what drew in my eyes and refused to release them: the sand. I had never seen sand like this, and it had nothing to do with my new keen eyesight. The shore was carpeted in a glimmering, scintillating blanket of smoky silveriness. It was much more than gray-- it was an irresistible concoction of ground oyster shells, black pepper and ebony diamonds.

I finally wrested my eyes away from our surroundings and looked to Edward. He turned to look at me at the same time and smiled. The twinkling of the beach seemed to glint off of his eyes and shower me with emotion.

"I love you," I whispered. "I love this. Thank you for bringing me here."

In an instant, Edward dropped everything he was holding and pulled me into an embrace. "You're always thanking me before I get the chance to thank _you,_" he chuckled, placing a tender kiss on my neck. "I'm the only one who needs to show gratitude, Bella."

"Well, my speed _has _improved, as of late," I replied, hugging Edward tighter to me. "And once again, you're wrong. You have given me... everything. I'll never stop being grateful."

"If that also means you'll never stop loving me, then I think I can live with that." He pulled back to look at me, interlacing his fingers around my waist. "Well, I guess I'll set up camp."

"Oh yeah, let me help you with that."

But Edward just gave me a look as if to say, _Remember, Bella. Useless._

So I gazed up amazedly at the mountains some more, relished in the sensation of the black sand between my toes and explored the starfish and mollusks in the tide pools, while Edward whirred and spun around the spot where we would be lounging for the day. When he was done, only a few minutes later, my jaw gaped open. There was a fully constructed, tan-colored fifteen-by-fifteen-foot cabana with a zippered net, much like the one on the patio at _Brownings' Abode_. It was the kind of structure that would have taken a human hours to erect. Two sturdy looking beach chairs, each with their own giant rainbow-colored umbrella staked into the sand behind them, were placed strategically outside the cabana.

Edward stood next to his beach living room, hands on his hips, and smiled proudly at his work. I took his hand in mine and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you, Edward," I whispered, and he beamed at me. "Although I honestly would have been happy with just a beach towel."

He chuckled and walked toward the cabana. "I've got those, too!" he exclaimed, holding up two of the largest and brightest colored beach towels I had ever seen. I couldn't believe how excited he was getting over a day at the beach.

His enthusiasm was contagious and it made me laugh. "You're really into this, aren't you? Why so much fervor over what families do every summer all over the world?" Well, minus the vampire skill and speed, that was. I doubted there were too many families with this setup.

Edward's countenance grew more serious, and he pulled me into the cabana and onto the rather large air mattress he had inflated there. "And what exactly were you hoping would happen here, Mr. Cullen?" I teased and tapped the tip of his nose with my finger before giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"Just wanted to give you somewhere to go if you got bored by the beach chairs and being in the sun," he replied honestly, tightening his arms around me.

"You always think of everything." I sighed and relaxed into him.

He was silent for a moment, but I could practically hear the gears turning in his head, over the sound of the crashing waves.

"Bella, I know that I can tend to get... carried away with things sometimes."

I snickered but didn't respond, intending to let his thoughts come forth at their own pace.

"I just..." he continued, "I guess I just want so badly to make things _normal _for you. To make your life with me at least somewhat reminiscent of the one you enjoyed as a human. Those things are a part of you, a part of who you are, and I don't want you to lose them. So if there's anything I can do within my power to make sure of that, then I'm going to do it. If that means taking you out to a fancy restaurant even though we won't eat the food, then I'll do it. If it means baking you a giant birthday cake with all the candles-- again, even though none of us can eat it-- then I'll do that, too. And if going to the beach as a human means lugging more stuff onto the sand than a family of five would need for a backpacking trip through Europe, then it's done. I've asked you for the biggest favor of all: to spend eternity with me. The least I can do is make the transition as easy as possible for you."

I took a moment to process his words. I was grateful for his candor, glad that he had proffered his thoughts to me so voluntarily. And when I thought about their sincerity, I was moved and touched. This was the same old Edward... unfailingly generous and selfless. Always putting me before himself and everything else, giving me the things he thought I not only liked and enjoyed, but also needed to live a happy life. He expressed his love to me through every little comfort, every little detail, planned ten steps ahead and always to the ultimate degree. I already knew all of these things, but hearing the earnestness in his voice as he said them aloud made the love I felt for him in my heart amplify and glow.

The glow radiated up from my heart and elicited a smile from my lips, which then kissed Edward's softly. "Thank you," I whispered, and he responded by deepening our kiss.

But I was still mulling over something Edward had said. _"I've asked you for the biggest favor of all: to spend eternity with me. The least I can do is make the transition as easy as possible for you."_

_The least I can do. _Something about those five words bothered me. And then my memory flashed to something Edward had said several nights earlier, when we had first arrived at _Brownings' Abode_. It was the first time I had truly ever been angry with him. I had emphatically expressed my desire for our relationship to be equal, and he had agreed that it should be that way.

"_I will never stop looking for ways to thank you for loving me." _Those had been some of his final words before we had kissed and made up. Only now was their significance making an impression on me. I suppose I had been too caught up in the moment to appreciate them before, but now they wouldn't leave me alone. They repeated over and over in my head like a broken record. _"I will never stop looking for ways to thank you for loving me."_

Finally, I thought of something he had said earlier in the day: _"Sorry, Bella, you'll just have to get accustomed to feeling useless."_

I pulled back from Edward to look at him. "Edward..." I said slowly.

"Yes, love?" he asked with a questioning expression.

"You know that you don't owe me anything, right?"

His expression became even more inquisitive, and slightly confused. "In what way, Bella?"

I rolled off of him and walked out of the cabana, plopping onto one of the beach chairs and swinging my legs over the side. Edward followed and sat in the chair next to me, never removing his eyes from me.

I stared out at the relatively calm ocean-- the tide was out-- for a few moments before I spoke.

I opened my mouth to speak and then snapped it shut again. Where were the words? Why was this so difficult? I briefly toyed with the idea of trying to lower my protective shield and let Edward see into my mind, but something about that didn't seem right. This was something I wanted to carefully articulate so he wouldn't wrongly infer my meaning from the multitude of thoughts running through my head.

Edward was gripping his hair, his eyebrows torqued so harshly they almost zig-zagged across his face. I could tell he was trying to be patient, but he looked like he was going to explode at any moment if I didn't express my thoughts soon.

I glanced back at the elaborate cabana and then turned to look at Edward, smiling at him. I still didn't know how to say exactly what I needed to say, but I had to start somewhere.

"All of these things that you do for me, Edward..." I reached across the space between the chairs and gently extricated his hand from his hair, holding it in mine and rubbing his palm soothingly with my thumb. "Well, I just hope you know that you don't have anything to make up to me."

He started to speak but I continued, more quickly and a little louder before he could do so. "And that's _not _to say that I don't appreciate or absolutely love all of this." I made an all-encompassing gesture to the air with my hand. I added, "Even the surprises," and smiled at him adoringly. Edward managed half a smile in reply, but his eyes still looked concerned.

"I just need to know that... well, that your only motivation is for love's sake." I thought back to the poem I had read that morning. "I need to know that it's strictly for love's sake and not also because you feel guilty somehow, or that you need to redeem yourself because you think you've taken me away from something. Because, well, I couldn't live with myself if I thought you harbored any more guilt. You've been doing that for too long, Edward, and in this case, I'm afraid it would be completely misconstrued.

"I hope you know the reason why: you haven't taken away my life, you've given it to me. It was the best decision I ever made. It was the decision I was _born_ to make." I placed my hand lightly on his cheek, stroking it with my thumb, and whispered, "You are my destiny."

At my final words, Edward closed his eyes and sunk into my hand, placing his hand over mine and then turning his head to kiss my palm.

His gorgeous eyes fluttered open to peer into mine, the ocean reflecting off of them, and I almost forgot what we were talking about.

Edward spoke softly. "It's true that I did feel guilty at one point, Bella. You know I felt guilty about the idea of you making a sacrifice for me before you were even turned. So it's understandable, I suppose, that you would question all the aspects of my... motivation... in these things that I do." Our hands were interlaced again and dangling in the gap between the chairs. I gave Edward's a comforting squeeze.

"But," said Edward, "everything is different now."

Indeed it was. The simplicity and truth of Edward's words instantly lightened me. I even felt a little silly about all of my moroseness. I nodded my head ever so slightly and smiled at him. The sun was rising higher in the sky, shining down directly onto us in relaxing rays, and the repetitive lull of the ocean waves droned on.

"Before you were turned, Bella, do you know what I looked forward to most about the idea of you becoming like me?"

I turned my head to reply to him, and he was staring at me again with an expression that could only be described as blissful.

I replied with the first thought that popped into my head, the one that seemed most obvious. "No longer being capable of hurting me?"

Edward smiled ruefully. "I can understand why you might think that, considering I was a bit... obsessive about that." We both smirked. "But no. Underneath all of the constant worry and the guilty feelings about my selfishness, there was happiness in the prospect for me. I used to daydream about spending eternity with you, Bella. Not just spending eternity with you, but spending every day of that eternity giving you things that make you happy. There is nothing that brings me more joy than making you happy. And that's what all of this is about." He made the same all-encompassing gesture with his hand that I had made moments before. "It's nothing more or less than that. I love you. I want to give you things. And I won't ever stop doing it, no matter how much you protest."

With that final defiant comment, Edward winked and we both started grinning. His words had nailed it. It would always be like this: he would always insist on giving me things, I would always put up a fight about it and, ultimately, he would always win. He had found a way to say that last part tactfully. We were laughing now at the realization.

People frequently change in relationships-- often in the most dramatic, life altering ways, as ours illustrated-- but there are some things that always remain the same. Vampire or human, Edward would always spoil me. I was just going to have to get used to it.

I was still smiling at Edward as I lifted myself up off of my beach chair, still holding his hand. He watched me intently as I confidently ambled my way closer to him. I stood over him for a moment, casting my shadow over his face, and then swung my leg over him to straddle his body.

Edward's eyes lit up, and his smile matched their fervor. I clasped his other hand in mine and interlaced our fingers.

"I think I'll find a way to get used to being eternally spoiled," I kissed Edward's fingers, "on one condition."

His eyes turned suspicious now. "And what would that be?"

"That you don't keep me from at least _attempting_ to spoil _you_ every once in a while." I placed Edward's hands on my waist and caressed his stomach lightly with my fingers.

"Hmm," his eyes got smoky, "I'll consider it. In fact, I'll even make a request right now."

I was shocked. "Of.. of course!" I spluttered. "What would you like?"

Edward tried to quell a huge smile. "To see this infamous bathing suit. We _are _at the beach, you know, and I'm wearing mine, so..."

"_Not for long_," I growled, and Edward laughed, loud and joyously, as our clothing was strewn across the beach.

The sun shone on, and the waves continued their lapping. The same way they had done for millions of years-- eternally, faithfully and happy in their destined purpose.


	6. Chapter 6: Strictly Ballroom

Chapter 6: Strictly Ballroom

Edward and I had played on the black sand beach all day. We walked the shore barefoot and let the salty water puddle around our calves. We explored the tide pools and collected some of the most beautiful and intricate shells I had ever seen; they would be good souvenirs for Renesmee. We lounged on our beach chairs hand in hand, enjoying the feel of the sun.

Occasionally, I would peer up from my book reader to sneak a glance at Edward, and he would inevitably catch me. I always knew he was going to catch me, but it was magnetic-- I couldn't seem to keep my eyes off of him. Lying there in the sun with his eyes closed, his bare skin glimmering and his lips curved into a contented smile, I was overcome with the nostalgia of the first time I saw him like this, many months ago in an open, sunny meadow. He was just as beautiful to me now as he had been then through human eyes.

And of course, we had made love. On the black beach, with the water curving and splashing around us; in the cabana; on the chairs; once even spontaneously during a walk, about three miles down the shoreline. There was definitely something to be said for the benefits of a deserted beach.

We played on into twilight and, eventually, dusk. We watched the sun set into the sea, its glowing reds and oranges pooling out onto the horizon line like fluidic wet paint. We allowed night to overtake the shore and us with its shadowy blanket. The stars and the nearly full moon soon rose and glowed like guiding sentinels in an expanse of black.

Edward looked just as beautiful glowing in moonlight as he did glittering in sunlight.

It was refreshing knowing we could sit here all night if we wanted to. No concerns about sleep, or food, or the dangers of the night could intrude on this. We were free to sit here as two silhouetted lovers in a painting, the moonlit ocean framed by the nighttime sky as our backdrop.

I hadn't consciously noticed until late into the evening, but Edward had seemed particularly keen for us to stay on the beach. All day, he had been making nonchalant comments like, "Remember, we're in no hurry to get back, Bella." But I had never mentioned wanting to leave, and lying still and pensive in the quiet darkness now, I realized perhaps his comments weren't as nonchalant as I had originally thought.

But I didn't say anything. If Edward was up to something, best to let him have his fun. I conceded that he had never once surprised me with anything I didn't like. Quite the _opposite_, in fact. Our conversation earlier in the day had supplied me with acceptance that this would always be Edward's way, and I should learn to love it. And I had to admit, I already did love it quite a bit.

When the moon had risen to its highest spot in the sky and Edward had successfully pointed out to me the names of every constellation and major star, we lay together on the beach in silence. Above the calm crashing of the waves, I could hear the distant sonar speech of whales and the rustling of animals in the dark forest behind us. Crickets hummed a high-pitched melody that played in time to the waves' percussion. We had two front row tickets to nature's symphony.

Lying here like this, flat on the beach and deep down into the sand, I felt the most comforting sense of just... belonging. Like our presence here was just as natural and expected as the water, wind, trees or birds. Like we were the final piece to a miraculous puzzle that had been lovingly fit together. Here, in this moment, it was simply impossible to conceive that we lacked souls, that we were unnatural or foreign tiles in this mosaic-- as Edward had once believed. No, we were _meant_ to be here. I think Edward felt it, too. He was finally at peace.

When the crickets took a break from their chirping, I heard Edward's lips part to speak. Our hands were interlaced and he was staring at me, the moonlight glinting off the side of his face. "To call you beautiful right now would almost be insulting," he murmured.

My eyes widened and, even though I didn't need to anymore, I blinked. My eyelids batted as if they couldn't believe what they saw. Was this really happening? Was my Edward really lying here with me on this perfect beach, in this perfect sand, with the perfect moon glowing on us? I had an overwhelming feeling of bafflement. Of feeling so small and insignificant in the midst of all of this natural splendor, and at the same time so undeniably _grateful_. Just thankful and humbled that the perfect man in front of me-- moonlit bronze hair, crooked smile and every single detail of him-- was all _mine. _He was perfection, plain and simple. He was perfection thatbelonged entirely to _me._

I rolled on top of Edward slowly, trapping my fingers into his wet hair and tangling our legs together as the water rushed over them. I was almost on sensory overload: the grittiness of the sand on our skin; the salty smell; the warm splash of sea spray deluging our limbs. As they molded and conformed to mine, the wetness of Edward's lips complemented the sensations I felt on my body as the water assaulted us in waves.

"I love you, Bella," whispered Edward as his hands roamed my back.

Three perfect words. Three perfect words uttered by two perfect lips, on this perfect beach and this perfect night.

It would never get any better than this. Or so I thought.

*****

We were trekking back to _Brownings' Abode_, slowly again his time, because Edward had again made a comment about being in "no hurry." That was certainly true, because it must have been one o'clock in the morning by now. Which was fine by me-- this never-getting-tired thing was starting to grow on me.

I smiled and chuckled lightly to myself for a moment, picturing the conniption fit Charlie would have thrown if Edward had ever tried to keep me out this late while I was still living with him. I felt certain that guns would have been involved.

Edward tiled his head at me and smiled slightly. "Something funny, love?"

I looked back at him in surprise at being caught in my thoughts, my eyes widening for a moment. "Not exactly funny, no... just, slightly amusing, I guess." I smiled back at him.

We kept walking for a few moments. Finally, Edward said in a very curious voice, "Well... aren't you going to let me in on the joke?" There was a miniscule trace of something in his tone-- hurt, perhaps?

"Oh," I stammered. "Really, Edward, it was just a silly passing thought. Nothing even really worth repeating."

Edward was silent for a moment, but the look on his face told me his thoughts were in overdrive.

We were passing by the pool we had skinny dipped in a few days previous when he spoke again. "Bella, I want to ask you a question." His voice betrayed nothing this time.

"Of course, ask anything you want."

"Well, I suppose it's more of a request than a question."

Oh, Edward was asking me to give him something?

He tightened his grip on my hand in an affectionate way. "Do you think you could work a little more at letting down your shield for me?" His voice was low and he wasn't looking at me, which betrayed his hesitancy to make the request.

I sighed. The shield. This request didn't surprise me. From the moment we first met, the fact that Edward couldn't read my mind had always driven him crazy. When we discovered I had this ability to protect myself and people around me-- the precise reason why my mind had always kept Edward out-- he was thrilled. Thrilled at the idea of finally getting inside and hearing my thoughts, raw and unadulterated.

Which perhaps played a _tiny _role in why I hadn't been honing my shield lowering abilities as much as I think Edward would have preferred. It wasn't so much that I didn't _want_ Edward to hear my thoughts-- I wanted to share everything with him now-- but I just wasn't used to the idea of him ambling around in my head _all _the time quite yet. I had always been very protective of my thoughts, and it's a frightening thing to open them up, completely unedited, especially to someone you love who has a history of brooding. Even husbands and wives need time to learn to be completely transparent with one another.

But I was definitely willing to work toward it. "Yes, Edward, of course." We were passing through a grove of trees that had become one of my favorites on our many hikes during the week. "I hope you know it's not that I don't _want _to let you in... I just need a little more time to adjust to the _idea_ of it. Do you understand?" I was looking at him concernedly, hoping my words weren't inadvertently hurting him.

Edward looked back at me with an expression that was difficult to read. "Yes..." he said slowly, "I do understand, Bella."

We were both silent again for a few moments. "That, and I'm honestly still not very good at it, you know," I said. "Especially in moments of distraction. And you seem to be distracting me _quite _a bit lately." My voice lilted suggestively, and I grinned at Edward.

He couldn't contain a grin in response. In fact, my comment seemed to cheer him so much that he stopped walking, dropped everything he was carrying, and scooped me up. His arms were wrapped around my waist, holding me about a foot off the ground. I felt the thickness of desire in his breath against my neck immediately.

"Is that so?" he whispered.

My breathing was instantly erratic. "Mmm hmm," I managed to choke out through the haze that was now clouding my any chance at coherency.

"Well, if you want me to stop _distracting_ you, just say the word." His lips found my neck.

"Nuunnhhh," I eked out.

Edward chuckled and set me down. "Okay, I think that's enough distraction for now. I guess I need to limit you to small doses. I don't want you going comatose."

I was regaining my senses, and playfully swatted at Edward's arm, as we started walking again. "I think your effect on me is going to your head, you know. I still may not be sharing all of my thoughts with you, but there's nothing worse than a vampire with a big ego." I tried to contain a laugh.

Edward narrowed his eyes at me in an attempt at bluffed peevishness. "Read any good books lately, Bella?"

But before I could answer his strangely timed question, two things hit me-- one, something in my sight, and the other, my sense of smell.

What I saw was so visually mesmerizing that the smell was almost forgotten. The back of the house was in our view now, only there was something very different about _Brownings' Abode_ on this evening. On previous nights, the house was a silent, gentle giant, the effused incandescence of the sparse lighting from inside casting a meek light into the nearby trees.

But not tonight. Tonight, its luminescence demanded attention from the rest of the forest. The entire back of the house was draped in twinkling lights. They covered almost every inch of the patio, snaking up the sides and across the top of the cabana, intermingling with the white roses in the trellis and outlining the curves and angles of the verandas and windows on the upper levels. I was half expecting for Alice to come bounding out of the trees and yell, "Surprise!" at any moment. Twinkle lights were right up her alley.

The effect was so dramatic and romantic that, once again, for what was possibly the hundredth time on this vacation, I gasped-- and got a concentrated, pungent mouthful of the smell I had noticed before.

My tongue instantly felt like sandpaper. My throat seared and raged with fire. I could practically see the reddening of my irises taking place through my own eyeballs. I stilled my legs to resist the urge to take off running in the direction of the sweet scent.

"Edward?" I managed to ask hoarsely, swallowing, "has a human been here?"

Edward's face was instantly panicked. Again, he dropped everything he was carrying and pulled me into his arms-- tightly and protectively this time.

"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry," his voice was nearly hysteric, "it's all my fault."

I swallowed again, trying to put enough warm tone into my voice to allay his fears. "No, Edward, I'm fine--"

But he wouldn't let me finish. The words erupted from Edward; he was speaking much faster than usual. "I asked the caretaker who I went to see the other day to do all of this. He's left by now, but I suppose his scent still lingers." He pulled at his hair frantically. "I am so, so sorry, Bella. I got so caught up in trying to make the surprise perfect that I ignored the blatantly obvious. It's just like the first time I took you hunting. I am _so_ sorry. I'll take you away from here right now. Somewhere far away, where the scent won't bother you."

He had started to pick me up and carry me before I nearly yelled, "No, Edward!" My exclamation seemed to snap him out of his frenzy, and he stopped running.

"No," I said more softly, placing my hand on his cheek. "It's fine, really it is."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Not again with the _fine _business. Please, Bella. I messed up. Let me fix it."

"But I'm telling you, Edward, you don't need to fix anything. I've been around humans before, remember? Charlie? Renesmee? Okay, well, she only sort of half counts, but the scent and the heartbeat are there. I'm not quite the crazed animal we thought I would be." I smiled ironically.

"Well, no, of course you're not," said Edward. "But that's not what this is about. This is about your comfort."

"Yes, and _trust me_ when I tell you it is _not that bad_. Okay?"

"_Not that bad_ isn't good enough, Bella. I should have been more conscientious."

I sighed. "Edward, the only thing that would make me unhappy right now is _not _getting a chance to see what else is waiting for me inside that house. If you take me away from it, I'm going to be pretty mad." I crossed my arms across my chest and attempted a pouty face.

Edward's face relaxed a little. "Well, okay, but the second it becomes uncomfortable for you, we're leaving."

"I'll be fi--" Edward glared at me. "I _won't_ be uncomfortable, Edward. But if it makes you feel any better, how about we plan a hunting trip for first thing in the morning? I think it's about time for both of us, anyway." I traced my fingers along the circles underneath his eyes.

Edward nodded and started walking back toward the house, still carrying me in his arms. As we got closer, the sight grew more impressive. Again, the visual feast in front of me nearly obliterated my notice of the smell. The lights weren't the only addition-- the landscaping budget had been clearly upped. Potted tropical plants in all varieties-- some tall, some short, some blooming and some simply green and broad-leafed-- were strategically placed around the property. Large, globe-like paper lanterns in colors of orange and red hung along the eve of the house over the patio. There was a fire blazing in the fire pit, and I could hear the soft hum of music coming from inside.

"Edward, it's magical. What's all of this about?" We were on the patio now, and he set me down. I took in the atmosphere in amazement.

Edward shrugged and gave a small smile. "Just wanted to top off the perfect day with the perfect evening."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "So you'd been planning the beach trip all along?"

"Yes," he smiled. "Which was why I was thrilled when you were the first to bring up the idea of leaving the house this morning. It helped to reduce the chance of your suspicions greatly."

"Yes, well," I teased, "that was until you made all those hints about being in no hurry to leave the beach today. Your surprise skills need work, Mr. Cullen."

He laughed and pulled me in for a kiss. "I wouldn't say that just yet, _Mrs._ Cullen. You haven't seen anything yet."

"Hmm, then why don't you show me?" I asked through another kiss.

Edward's smile widened against my lips instantly. "Gladly," he barely whispered. "Let's go upstairs."

"_Gladly," _I responded.

We made our way up to the main floor. Everything here seemed usual. Other than a fire burning in the fireplace, it didn't appear that the caretaker had even entered this room. The seating and reading areas were the same, with no change in lighting except for the soft glow of the lights outside that subtly lit the tips of the tree limbs next to the massive glass windows.

I looked at Edward suspiciously, waiting for something to happen. Not that I would have been disappointed if the climax of the surprise had simply consisted of making love to Edward next to the fireplace for the rest of the night, but I knew Edward better than that. He preferred things a little more... elaborate. I was just holding my breath for it to happen.

"Through here, love," Edward whispered, guiding me by the hand toward the massive wooden door.

The door slowly creaked open. The shiny-floored room with Esme's mural had been transformed. That morning, this room had been practically empty-- a cavernous, echoey space suitable for a ballet studio. Now, however, it was a colorful, cozy, eclectic assortment of furniture, fabrics, plants, candles and lights. A square area in the middle of the shiny floor remained vacant, but adorning the perimeter of the room along the sides of the walls were tastefully arranged couches, chairs and rugs in warm colors that complemented Esme's mural.

More twinkle lights graced the walls, enveloping all the objects in the room in a warm, amber-colored glow. There were candles-- more candles than I had ever seen in one place-- of all shapes and sizes littering every open space. Their flames flickered vivaciously, casting dancing shadows onto the walls. The rich, intense colors, and the curved shapes of the accessories that decorated the tables, gave this room a particularly spicy, ethnic feel, as if we had just magically transported ourselves into a Cuban rhumba lounge or a Moroccan cafe.

"Edward, it's lovely." I looked at him as the shadows of the candle flames danced off of his face.

He smiled. "My gift to Esme for letting us stay here all week. But... it's really more of a tribute to you. I asked the designer to create something Phoenix-inspired."

Well, it definitely had elements of the Southwest, that was for sure. "Wow, you hired a designer?"

"Yes, several months ago. Everything was delivered to the caretaker with instructions for how to place it all."

"You are amazing."

Edward laughed. "Hardly, Bella. But I'm glad you like it. Do you think Esme will?"

"Definitely!" I said enthusiastically. "It's eclectic, it's classy... it's a gift from you. She'll adore it."

Edward seemed to smile in relief. "Well," he said, pulling me closely, "why don't we get cleaned up from our day at the beach and then enjoy this room together?"

"Yes, please."

Edward chuckled and whisked us up the stairs. Before giving me a brief goodbye peck, he told me he had some "things to attend to" and that he would use the shower downstairs. So I showered alone, enjoying the refreshing feeling of washing the sand and salt of the day off of my body with the hot water.

When I was done, I exited the bathroom and sat down at the vanity table to confront the mess that was my hair. I rapidly combed out the tangles, and had succeeded in using the hair apparatuses Alice had snuck into my suitcase to fashion my hair into long, luscious curls, when I looked down and noticed a piece of paper with familiar elegant handwriting on it.

_Love--_

_I'll be waiting for you downstairs. I would love to see you in that red dress you packed._

_Always,_

_E_

Well that was a new one. Edward had _never_ made fashion requests of me. And I didn't realize he was so aware of what I had packed. He always told me I looked beautiful no matter what I wore, but I kind of liked the idea of wearing something at his request.

I entered the closet. _Red dress, red dress..._ I searched through my luggage. Ah, yes. _That_ dress. The one I had packed on a whim; the one Alice had talked me into buying. I held it up to admire it and put it on. Even though it was simple and elegant-- and I had to admit that I really liked it--it was by _far _the skimpiest piece of clothing I had ever owned. At least, if you only counted clothing worn outside of the bedroom. I turned toward the mirror to admire how the simple halter neck shaped around the curves of my breasts and highlighted the delicate lines of my decolletage. The dress rouched through the torso, emphasizing the hourglass curve of my waist, and then flared into an asymmetrical hem at the bottom. The deep scarlet shade was a beautiful contrast to the creamy paleness of the skin on my bare arms and my completely exposed back. As I held up my hair to look at my back, I noticed how the fabric skimmed over the curves of my rear end smoothly and seamlessly. It was a perfect fit.

I smiled at myself in the mirror. I looked _good_ in this dress. I felt feminine. Beautiful, even.

As I searched for the black stiletto heels I had packed to wear with it, I heard the music that had earlier been softly playing increase in volume. The steady beat of an alluring Latin rhythm was making its way up the turret stairs and into our bedroom, and I could smell the warm, creamy scent of the melted wax from all the candles burning downstairs. Involuntarily, my hips started to sway ever so slightly in time to the spicy cadence. I was feeling in my body a slow-burning, ever-mounting urge to be close to Edward again.

I quickly fastened the buckles on the heels and stood to take in the full effect of my appearance in the mirror. The shoes caused my calf muscles to flex and firm up, creating a toned and slender elongation of my legs. I placed my hands on my hips, enjoying the feel of the thin, gossamer-like fabric against the slender part of my waist. My dark hair spilled over my shoulders in abundant, shiny waves, and the slight remnant of red in my eyes matched the vermillion shade of my dress and the blush on my lips. I had to admit, I looked stunning. _Wow, first time I've ever had _that _thought_, I mused.

Edward must have emerged from his shower by this time, too, because, mingled with the scent of melted candle wax, I suddenly caught another intoxicating aroma wafting its way up the stairs: honey and sunshine. Edward. Yep, it was long past time to _get the heck down those stairs._

Forgoing taking the stairs slowly and ladylike, as a situation like this probably would have normally dictated, I sprinted to the mural room at vampire speed. I couldn't wait any longer. Whatever was waiting for me in that room, I was ready to see and experience it _now._

What I saw put my every expectation to shame. It was almost like slow motion. I froze, one foot still on the stair and my hand on the wall, bracing myself. His back was to me, seemingly adjusting the knobs on the new built-in stereo. But I couldn't focus on what he was employing himself with at this moment, because all I could think about-- even with my new ability to think of multiple things at once-- was the way he _looked_, and I hadn't even seen the front of him yet.

He wore a perfectly tailored, solid black tuxedo. I could discern each tiny, tightly-knit thread of the ultra-luxe fabric that formed and fitted to Edward's every masculine line. His pants had been cut to the perfect length, emphasizing the litheness of the long, lean, hunter-like legs they encapsulated beneath their folds. The jacket draped across his broad, robust shoulders, every seam hitting each spot so perfectly that I could almost see his musculature through his clothing. Edward tapped one shiny-shoed foot in rhythm to the music against the ballroom floor, and when it stopped I finally saw his head start to turn toward me in profile.

The starched white collar of his dress shirt grazed his face as he turned, the stiffness of the shirt echoing the angular line of his jaw. The hint of a smile turned up the corner of his carmine lips, the smile further broadening as he continued to turn. I caught glimpse of the coppery warmth of his hairline, along his sideburns and his temple, which slowly contrasted more and more with his alabaster face.

Finally, Edward stood to face me fully, his mop of rumpled, unruly bronze hair topping off his high-class clothing in the most charmingly paradoxical way. The tailored jacket was buttoned and cradled the curvature of his sculpted chest with the same grace as it had done across his back. Every little detail of Edward's appearance, from the polished silver cuff links to the ruby red handkerchief in his jacket pocket, was gleaming. The last things I noticed were his obsidian eyes; they were smoldering at me. He was utterly beautiful.

"Beautiful." I saw Edward's lips move and heard his murmur. His utterance snapped me out of my hypnosis, and I realized I had placed my hand over my heart and stopped breathing. He had been gazing as intently at me as I had at him.

Edward started walking toward me, never removing his eyes from my face. "Bella," he whispered as he neared me. The closer he got, the more beautiful he became, and I struggled to locate my voice as this perfect man-- this sexy, stylish, classy, masculine man who loved me with every cell inside of him-- came within touching distance of me.

We just gazed at one another for a moment, our lips parted in silent awe. Over the sound of my deep inhalations of air, I finally noticed the mellifluous tones of the music, a slow, sensual electric guitar that savored every note over the soft, yet strong Latin bongo percussion.

Edward finally broke his eyes from mine, and I watched him take in my appearance. I could feel his eyes sweep over the highlights of my look, the ones I had been particularly pleased with in the mirror-- my breasts, my legs, my waist and my new dress. He reached one hand up and placed it in my curls. "Bella, you look... incredible." His eyes seemed to widen as he spoke. "I don't think I have ever been more attracted to you as I am at this moment. You are the sexiest creature I've ever seen."

It took me a moment to respond, because as he was speaking, I had already forgotten about the momentary attention on me and was again caught up in the way Edward looked tonight. He had looked gorgeous across the room, but now, mere inches from my face, Edward's intoxicating honey scent-- more alluring than any cologne-- was making me fuzzy headed and casting a dreamlike atmosphere to the situation.

Oddly enough, a human memory suddenly sparked in my recollection. I remembered back to a late mother-daughter evening Renee and I had once shared. We had popped a bunch of popcorn and watched a marathon of old Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Bing Crosby movies. Renee loved the "old school" sound of the crooning and the classy style of the leading men. Around 1:00 A.M., Renee had popped in her favorite Enrique Iglesias tunes and started dancing to them in our living room. I had groaned as she had forced me off the couch to participate with her. She always knew I hated dancing and had seemed determined to make me like it. So I eked out a few cheesy fist rolls and hip bumps before telling Reneee I was tired and retreating to my room. But that night, I had the most vivid dream about a handsome, old fashioned man in a tuxedo leading me around a dance floor.

And now the dream was happening. Only, this was _way_ better than the dream, because Edward simply blew away any hybrid dream concoction of all the sexiest men who ever existed in Hollywood. There was just no comparison. I reached out and touched the silky lapel of his jacket.

"Edward, you're beautiful." And we weren't even in sunlight.

He chuckled lightly. "Only one person in this room is allowed to be called beautiful tonight, Bella, and it most definitely isn't me." He pulled me in closely, wrapping his arms around my waist and feeling the thinness of the fabric there with his fingers. "You know how I've always loved you in blue," he whispered, "but this dress is making a serious effort to change my mind about my favorite color on you." His hand made its way up my back, and he fondled the tie of the halter straps with his fingers.

I was now satisfyingly close to what I had been dying to be near to since I had landed at the foot of the stairs. The fabric of Edward's silky jacket smoothed over my bare arms, and I felt the weight and strength behind the muscles underneath it all. His scent made me close my eyes and fall further into fuzzy-headed bliss. I was prepared to stay latched on and never let go for the rest of the evening.

But suddenly, Edward pulled back and gave me a meaningful look. He held up one hand, palm facing up, as if asking me to place mine there. "Shall we?" The song had changed to a slow, sensual rhumba beat, with soft elements of cymbals and a high pitched guitar lacing the melody.

I gave Edward a puzzled look. "Um, Edward," I whispered, "you know I can't dance." I smiled at him and gave a little shake of my head.

He leaned in again, his lips grazing the side of my cheek before landing on my ear. "Just go with it," he crooned breathily.

Without thinking-- or breathing or doing anything coherently, in fact-- I placed my hand in Edward's and allowed him to lead me to the middle of the floor. He released my hand and circled me for a moment, in time to the slow cadence of the song, his eyes remaining intent on mine. If I hadn't been so distracted by his beauty and the way he made me feel, I probably would have felt uncomfortable. But I was so taken with thoughts of what Edward would do next, and the intense attraction I was feeling toward him, that I was okay with this. _More_ than okay.

When he circled behind me, his hand touched me and slid its way along my waist as he migrated his way more closely to me and around to face me again. He placed his other hand on the top of my shoulder and then slowly slid it down my arm, finally ending at my hand, which he grasped lightly and held up in position.

His movements were small at first. Just subtle little shufflings of his feet and rollings of his shoulders in sync with the beat. His hand on my waist was becoming more persuasive; I could feel his palm and his fingers communicating something to me which urged me to start to move along with him. By this time, the song had started to speak to me in much the same way as his fingers did, the sexy beat becoming more familiar and influential. The notes of the melody were starting to sound like a new language-- a language that was urging me to relinquish myself to it-- and the beat of the drums was weaving and insisting its way inside of my body, loosening and smoothing out my muscles and my inhibitions.

I felt my neck loosen and my head start to sway, which allowed my eyes to connect with Edward's in tempo to the music. Then the relaxing groove made its way to my waist and my hips, and they too started moving, ever so slightly, in time with my head. Finally, my feet began to pick up, and I heard the soft _click, click _of my stilettos against the shiny floor like a supplemental rhythmic layer to the drumbeat.

Edward seemed to notice the subtle change in my movements before I did. "That's right, love. Don't think. Just _feel_," he whispered mere inches from my face.

Without thinking, I leaned in to kiss him, momentarily stopping my dance movements, but before I could reach his lips, Edward lifted the hand he held in his and tucked me into a slow, underarm spin. He quickly pulled me back into him, closer this time, as the music started to slowly pick up in pace. "Just follow my lead," he whispered, "and let the music take over."

I didn't have time to think before he spun me out again, this time into an open-armed chasse in which we mimicked one another as we glided across the room. I had never seen Edward like this. Every move was smooth as silk, transitioning from one into the next in perfect time to the music. The closest thing I could compare it to was when I saw him hunt. He carried out every action with perfect forethought and fluidity. But the big difference here was that he was engaging me in his actions, and I felt them flow over and into me, causing my body to move in ways that I didn't even think I was capable of.

Immediately after our chasse, he smiled, as if pleased to see something in me that he knew was there but had just been waiting to come out. "I always _knew_ you could dance, Miss Swan." He winked.

I smiled back at his teasing, and frankly, I was a little pleased with myself, too. By now, the music was starting to feel like a good friend, and I made the brave step to swirl my hips in a slow, sensual circle along with the swell of the guitar solo. Edward's eyes widened, and I smiled, a little embarrassed at my brazenness but also a little delighted with myself.

This encouraged Edward to move close into me, standing directly behind me, and just as the music started to pick up even more, he placed his hands on my hips, his palms pressing into them and encouraging me to repeat the action. The same swell in the song occurred, and I repeated the movement of my hips, this time bucking them back and out a little further so that my rear end made contact with Edward at the apex of the circle. With the next eight counts of music, I repeated the action a second time, this time reversing the direction of my hips. With every movement and every passing count of music, I could feel my confidence increase. I felt so emboldened by the second hip sway that I reached my hands around to my hips and placed them on top of Edward's.

Edward was doing a very good job at maintaining the suave and debonair demeanor, but with that second hip sway, I was certain I heard him barely whisper, "God, Bella."

Hearing that comment somehow increased my confidence in this situation even further; perhaps it was the fun of the sexual power-play we had embarked on with this little activity. It was that, combined with my newfound revelation that I could do something akin to dancing and not look like a total klutz doing it-- in fact, to feel _sexy_ doing it.

The music and I were no longer good friends-- we were lovers. I finally allowed it to completely invade me and take over every leg, arm, fingertip and toe. Whatever language this song was singing, I spoke it fluently, and I was ready to speak it with Edward's body.

After a measure break, I turned around fluidly to face Edward and wrapped my arms around his neck, swaying my hips and moving my feet with more enthusiasm and fervor. I stared at him and smiled as if to say, _I'm warmed up now._

Edward grinned back at me hugely and placed his hands on my hips, letting them rock along in time to the beat. Our feet started to mirror each other in a patterned cha-cha-like, back-and-forth set of steps. As each count passed, I added just a little more flavor to the basic movements, perhaps rolling my head or flicking my wrist to the side, but mostly just making my hips undulate more flamboyantly and boldly as the song got spicier and spicier.

Edward was still maintaining the machismo he had set out to convey at the beginning of the dance, but I could tell he was thrilled by the fiery flair of my movements. By now, the song had transitioned into an upbeat, sexy samba with Spanish lyrics, and the aggressive sensuality of the song finally made me let go of my every care and inhibition.

With this song, we attempted a more complicated, more intuitive set of steps. But the steps didn't matter because I wasn't thinking about them. I was doing what Edward had asked of me-- just feeling the music. My feet glided along the shiny floor in the most graceful and agile movements, with Edward leading me through more turns, samba rolls, chasses and even a lift that made the asymmetrical hem of my dress flutter and ruffle through the air. If I had stopped to think about what I was doing here-- dancing at the level of an elite ballroom dancer-- I probably would have flipped myself out with the reality of the fact that Bella Swan, former Clumsy Queen of the Pacific Northwest, had accomplished this.

But I wasn't thinking about any of that, because truthfully, I may have been dancing, but I wasn't _thinking _about dancing at all. I was thinking about Edward. More accurately, I was _feeling_ Edward and communicating with him in a way I had never communicated with anyone before.

And Edward was communicating with me in exactly the same way. We were reacting and responding to one another with every touch, every hip sway, every sidelong glance and caressing contact of our various body parts. Each touch wasn't simply a touch, but a message with meaning.

And that message was one of pure love, in its most basic form. I had told Edward I loved him countless times, and he had said the same to me. But this was different somehow. The language we shared tonight on this tiny dance floor-- in this carefully decorated room that had been a gift of love, in this beautiful house that was likewise a gift of love-- transcended any speech or written words. We were sharing a moment, the magnitude of which we would never be able to articulate to another person, and that was exactly how it was supposed to be. Words would have cheapened it. As I spoke to Edward through my movements, I realized I didn't need poems, or love letters or novels to understand the hows and whys of my love for him. Just feeling it and understanding it at this level, a level that was inherently inexplicable-- and therefore perfect-- was enough.

As the song started to wind down, it got sultrily slow. We tightened and toned down our movements now, bringing our limbs into our shared space more intimately. The natural result was that we were looking at each other more intensely now. Through all of our active dancing, Edward's clothes had become slightly rumpled, the bow tie of the tuxedo now slightly askew and looser against his neck. His hair was, if possible, more disheveled, and his lips looked somehow more crimson. I was sure my appearance matched his in untidiness, too. My hair was definitely more wind-blown, and the straps of my dress felt looser, making the fabric gape and reveal more of my breasts.

Edward held both of my hands in his and pulled them closely between our waists, continuing to lead me in a slow, barely moving cha-cha with our feet. He released a hand momentarily to brush a strand of hair behind my ear, and then I felt his eyes assess my appearance much in the same way he had done moments before we began our dancing. Only this time, he let his eyes linger a little longer on my chest before returning them to mine.

The small space between us buzzed, and our feet finally stopped moving as the music ended.

A smile grew across Edward's face and bloomed into full force. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself close to him, trying to reach his neck. He lifted me off the floor, allowing me to put my lips there and then to his mouth.

"And may I ask what elicited that smile?" I asked through our kisses, smiling back at him.

"I was just thinking," he murmured, "I think I would be okay with you never lowering your shield if you promised to do _that _with me on a regular basis."

I giggled. "Hmm, yes, it seems we've found a new mode of communication, doesn't it? Who knew? Bella the Ballroom Dancer."

Edward kissed me again. "I'll take whatever mode of communication involves you wearing _this dress_. And looking _this sexy_. I hope you know it took every ounce of my focus not to abscond with you up the stairs before the dancing even started tonight."

"Hmm, well the dancing is over now," I responded with a come-hither look. "How about we do some more communicating on our bed?"

Edward's face grew serious with lust. "I think I could handle that," he responded, his voice gruff, "on one condition."

I looked at him, puzzled. "What's that?"

"As much as I love this dress," he smiled mischievously, starting to untie the straps behind the nape of my neck, "it needs to stay here in the ballroom." And the dress fell to the floor, where it remained into the wee morning hours, patiently awaiting our next dance.


	7. Chapter 7: The Call of the Wild

_The gray cub's eyes had not been open long, yet already he could see with steady clearness. And while his eyes were still closed, he had felt, tasted, and smelled. He knew his two brothers and his two sisters very well. He had begun to romp with them in a feeble, awkward way, and even to squabble, his little throat vibrating with a queer rasping noise (the forerunner of the growl), as he worked himself into a passion. And long before his eyes had opened, he had learned by touch, taste, and smell to know his mother-- a fount of warmth and liquid food and tenderness. She possessed a gentle, caressing tongue that soothed him when it passed over his soft little body, and that impelled him to snuggle close against her and to doze off to sleep._

The dawn roused itself, arching and stretching with a sigh the sun's first rays across the mountaintop. The hands and fingers of light walked their way through our bedroom window, inching across the wooden floor, up the cement walls, and resting on our velvet cloaked canopy bed.

"I love you." It was spoken softly as the sunrise, no more than a hint of a whisper on Edward's lips at my ear. His fingers were, much like the light, moving slowly. Taking their time. Inching their way across the planes of my skin.

I let out a loud breath. He was making it damn near impossible to concentrate on anything right now, much less the book reader in my lap. Ever since the height of our evening together had concluded a few hours earlier, it had been like this. We had sat next to each other, attempting to partake in our usual nocturnal activity-- reading shoulder to shoulder-- but it had proven nearly futile. The thickness and heat of the evening hung in the air between us, unrelenting in its hold on our attention. In my periphery, I would feel Edward's gaze on me until I could take it no longer, wresting my eyes away from my book to look up at him, smiling both lovingly and devilishly at me.

At other moments, I couldn't resist allowing my eyes to wander down the landscape of his lithe body, my foot finding its way making slow caresses up and down his leg until his attention from his own book was eventually diverted and lavished upon me. Frankly, I don't know why we hadn't just given up the reading charade sooner. Even a vampire's attention capacity was getting neither of us anywhere this morning.

The exhalation of air signaled my surrender. I tossed the book reader to the foot of the bed and plopped back down on my pillow, turning to Edward and allowing him to demand my full attention.

"Are you trying to distract me?" I asked with a smirk, leaning on my elbow to face him. "It's working."

Edward grinned broadly and grasped my waist, rolling us both so that I sat on top of him now, my hands on his chest and his fingers doing that slow, torturous, inching thing again up and down my sides.

Before Edward spoke, we stared at one another for a moment, taking in the electric charge in the air and the shared memory of recent activities. The night was long over, but its erotic influence had not waned with the moon. I saw the memory in Edward's eyes and felt my own blazing at the thought. The burnishing heat of our dancing, the music thrumming its way through the floor, into our heels and up through our bodies, every one of our senses heightened to ultimate stimulation. We had allowed the night to ignite and engulf us in its flames, consuming us completely, but never to the point of extinguishing. No, this morning, the passion was still smoldering. I felt it in the trail of embers Edward's fingertips left as they burned their way up my body.

"I apologize," whispered Edward through a smile. His fingers dabbled heat across my collar bone.

This time, I sucked in a deep breath rather than letting it out. "I don't think you're sorry at all," I said with difficulty.

"No?" asked Edward with mock curiosity, as he lifted himself from the bed and into a sitting position, pulling my legs closer onto his lap and around his body. His face came nearer to me now, our hot breath intermingling. "Well, I _am_."

His words blew stuttered blasts of warm, sweet air against my neck, sending shock waves down my spine, before he moved my hair out of the way and placed his lips there.

I groaned. "Your actions... certainly... say otherwise," I gasped, tilting my head to the side to expose more of my neck to his lips. I secretly willed him to keep going there, and he read my mind. His lips blazed their way across the contour of my shoulder.

When I could take it no longer, I raised my head and found Edward's lips with my own, drawing his face closer to mine with my hands grasped firmly in his hair.

We were now two dancing, amorphous flames in a ring of heat, indecipherable where one body left off and the other began. We melted into each other like hot candle wax.

We finally collapsed, and I curled my body into Edward's as he embraced me tenderly. The fire was still smoldering, but there was a modicum of relief now, a manageable slow burn that mollified the urgency.

Edward's low chuckle rumbled against my ear. "And what's funny?" I asked, placing my chin on the back of my hand to smile up at him.

"I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not," he replied. "Not after that." He smiled hugely.

I narrowed my eyes and gave him a closed-mouth grin. "Yeah, I didn't _think _so," I said teasingly. "I'm onto you, Cullen."

Edward laughed and attacked me then, overtaking me on the bed and tickling me until I could take no more. "Okay, okay, I give, I give!" I exclaimed through my laughter.

Our combined laughter calmed and smoothed into a soothing hum, like a gentle rippling on a pond. Edward kissed me delicately, smiling, and pulled me into his arms again.

"May I ask what you were reading that caused you to resist my advances for so long? It must have been good," he asked as his fingers smoothed over my hair. His teasing tone was overlaid with seriousness, but I saw right through it.

"_White Fang _by Jack London," I replied, kissing his chest.

Edward chuckled.

"What?" I asked, stilling my kisses.

"Just seems apropos," he observed. He was quiet for a moment and then added, "I believe London died in 1916. Congratulations, Bella. You're slowly making your way into the twentieth century." He was poking fun at my old fashioned reading habits again.

"Look who's talking!" I defended, my kisses making their way down his chest and to his stomach. "Those who reside in old fashioned glass houses should not throw stones," I breathed against Edward's abdominals, staring up at him meaningfully.

Edward rolled his eyes and smiled, conceding the point, and pulled me back into his arms and against his chest.

"So what would you like to do today?" I asked. "After our hunt, that is."

"Well, I thought we ought to call Renesmee. Seeing how it's our last day here."

_Oh. my. God. _I sat up abruptly, panic-stricken at my transgression. _Renesmee_. Renesmee! How had I forgotten? About the phone call. About _her! _At the beginning of the trip, I had been so worried about her, so afraid that being away from her for a whole week would be too much to bear. I had even contemplated leaving early and meeting the family in Canada if I started to miss her too much.

Yet here I sat, on the morning of our last day of the trip, completely sublime and oblivious. Until Edward had said it, I wasn't even cognizant that this was our last day here. I had completely lost track of time. The heavy blanket of guilt enshrouded me. Apparently all it took to make me forget my daughter was a few days of beach going, ballroom dancing and mind-blowing sex. What kind of a mother _was _I? I had an answer for that.

It didn't take a mind reader to decipher the cause of my emotions. "Bella, it's all right," he soothed, sitting up and putting his arms around me.

"But... but... I forgot. I _forgot _about her, Edward." I spluttered and looked at him dazedly.

"No, shhhh," he comforted me. "You didn't forget, love. We needed this time together-- just the two of us. You did exactly what you were supposed to do. Enjoying your husband and your vacation does not make you a bad mother. Please don't worry or think another thing about this."

"Oh, Edward," I bemoaned, turning into his shoulder. "What ever will she think?" I whispered.

"Not a thing. She's having a wonderful time," said Edward smoothly. "Alice told me before we left how everything would work out. The only reason I even decided to whisk you away with me was because she had told me you could handle it-- and would enjoy it. I hope you won't be angry with me for not reminding you, but we were having such a nice time... I didn't want to make you miss her more by bringing it up. So please," he whispered, placing his finger under my chin and lifting my head to look into my eyes, "don't feel guilty or sad about this a moment longer. Okay?" His sweet breath clouded my senses.

I nodded weakly.

"Promise?" he asked, his eyes flitting down to my lips.

"Mmm hmm," I managed to squeak out. "I promi--" The word was silenced by Edward's lips.

"I love you, by the way," said Edward, resting his forehead against mine. "Now let's go hunting."

*****

The mountain lion was silenced mid-growl. Edward leapt nimbly, crouching over it on the balls of his feet, as if suspended by some invisible wire. I was reminded of our dancing the night before as his limbs moved in rhythm with each other, gliding over the animal's fur and gaining sustenance with a smooth, skillful drinking motion. He had conquered his prey adeptly, quietly and... humanely. The cat had never even known what hit it. Kind of like how I had suddenly learned to dance.

This time it was me doing the leaning. Arms crossed against my chest and my head tilted against a nearby tree, I could have easily watched him do this all day. He was so... sexy. Masculine and athletic-- his hands and teeth his built-in weapons, and every muscle, bone and sinew working in harmonious communication to overtake the animal. Truly the ideal hunter, he did it with the power of a predator and the intelligent compassion of a human. Both man and beast would be jealous of his talents.

Edward slowly lifted his eyes from the cat to me. In an instant, I saw them change from ebony to ochre, and he unfolded his body from his carnivore's crouch to stand. He was wearing a tight grey ringer t-shirt that clung so tightly to his mid-section, I swore his abdominal muscles had created permanent ripples in the fabric. I had the sudden urge to slip my hands in between the two.

I uncrossed my arms and walked toward Edward, smiling slightly. I saw his lips twitch, yearning to break into a smile, too, but restraining themselves. His eyes, however, gave away his thoughts as they sparkled more brightly at me the closer I came.

"It's rude to stare, you know," mumbled Edward, his eyes growing wider as he spoke and his red lips struggling more against the smile.

My eyes narrowed as I reached Edward and, without touching him, walked around him in a slow, small circle. His arms hung loosely at his sides, next to the pockets of his dark-washed jeans, and his head turned in attentive profile as I surveyed him.

"Well, I apologize," I whispered seductively as I came around to his front again, this time brushing first the tip of my nose and then my lips against his neck. "I suppose I just like watching a predator in action."

"Oh, really?" whispered Edward, this time _his _lips at _my _neck, his tongue making a tight, circular swirling movement against my skin. Before speaking again, he blew cool air in a painfully slow stream along the path his tongue had traced.

I trembled, my knees suddenly feeling weak. I fell back a little-- on purpose-- forcing Edward to lean forward and over me, cradling me above the ground with his palm placed firmly against my back. I giggled a little as we adjusted to the new position, my hair swinging above the ground.

Edward grinned. "So you enjoy watching me hunt?" he asked.

"Mmm, yes," I whispered before kissing him lightly and twirling a lock of his hair with my fingers. "You're quite the predator, you know."

He didn't respond. He simply laid me softly onto the leaf-strewn ground, placing tiny kisses along my hairline, my cheekbones, my lips and finally, returning his full attention to my neck.

Edward was crouched over me now, his hands moving with gentle grace across my torso and limbs. His mouth moved over my neck searching for what he craved, and I offered it to him in total willing supplication, exposing the parts of my neck his lips sought out. Whatever he most wanted, needed and desired in this moment, I would give to him-- mind, body and soul. As if nature had prescribed it to be this way, there was no way I could or would ever want to deny him.

Edward finally raised up from my neck, his golden eyes half-lidded and peering at me through darkened brows and heavy eyelashes. "Then I guess that makes you my prey," he rasped in a guttural voice.

Before I realized what had happened, I had let out a loud, keening moan, which Edward stifled with his mouth. He devoured me completely, overtaking me much as he had done to the mountain lion. I surrendered to his power, even though fully capable of toppling it with my own.

At last, our movements stilled, and I felt Edward's smile on my neck. "I just can't seem to get enough of you, Bella." His voice was softer now, but just as sexy. "You bring out the animal in me." He pulled back to look at me and winked.

I couldn't suppress a grin. I stared up at Edward for who knows how many moments, swimming in both his eyes and the pine needles on the ground.

"Love."

"Mmm hmm?" I asked dreamily, as I placed my lips tenderly on his. I had finally made the conscious effort to slip a hand underneath that grey shirt, and I was not disappointed at what I felt.

"I'm afraid I've been distracting you too much today."

I kissed him again and ran my fingers around the hard, bare skin of Edward's hips. "Is that so?" I asked through kisses at his neck.

"Mmm." Edward's hands tightened at my waist. "Bella..." he closed his eyes momentarily, "you know I would gladly take you again... and again... right here, right now. But..."

"But?" I asked, distractedly, through nips at his earlobe.

Edward pulled away to make eye contact. "But... food? Renesmee?"

Oops. "Oh yeah." I smiled sheepishly.

Edward smiled back at me knowingly as we both returned to standing in an instant. We started making our way out of the stand of trees in which he had taken down his prey. "I must _really _be distracting you," he said, taking my hand, "to be able to watch me quench my thirst like that and not feel the urge to take off in search of your own relief."

I rolled my eyes. "Edward, for the last time," I said, halting him and taking his other hand in mine, "this newborn thing is getting a _lot_ easier. So don't compliment yourself _too _much." I winked at him.

Edward just pursed his lips and gave a short half-laugh. We kept walking in silence for a while as I sniffed the air, until he finally spoke again. "Well, good. I'm glad you're feeling more comfortable physically, Bella. But how about mentally? You seemed a little disturbed the other day after you took down that elk."

I didn't speak for a moment. It was true, it _had_ been a little difficult getting used to taking a helpless animal's life. Even after all this time, after having killed hundreds of animals near Forks. Even knowing I had eaten meat as a human. But I had never physically _killed_ my food as a human, had never watched an animal die on the butcher's block or in the slaughterhouse. If I had, I hated to admit that I probably would have become a vegetarian.

But it was getting a little easier to come to terms with, especially when considering the alternative. I felt a little silly and selfish agonizing over what the rest of the Cullens considered "good" behavior by comparison. The last thing I wanted to do was make them feel bad about their exemplary behavior, by vampire standards. Especially when I was the only one who had _chosen _to be changed. So I embellished my response, adding perhaps a slightly cheerier and unconcerned edge to my words, when I spoke.

"Oh yeah, I'm _fine_ with that, Edward." I kept my gaze straight ahead, and I felt his narrowed eyes on me. I turned to look at him. "Seriously, that was just a bit of silliness the other day. I don't know what got into me. I'm not guilty in the least. I ate meat as a human, right?" But my eyes darted subconsciously away from his pensive gaze as I finished my sentence.

Something in Edward's eyes made me think he wasn't completely convinced, but if that was the case, he didn't comment on it. He just brought my hand to his lips, and we continued to walk on, olfactory senses on alert.

"Are you still thirsty?" I asked.

"No," he responded quietly. "I'm just trying to help you." His smile dazzled under the brightness of the mid-day sun. "Anything in particular you have a thirst for?"

"Hmm." I tilted my head in thought as if looking over an extensive gourmet restaurant menu. "Deer, perhaps?"

Edward gave a short nod of his head and turned his face to the air, on alert for the smell of venison.

I supposed the deer were grazing in another section of the forest, because we didn't come across a scent for quite a while. We talked idly as we wandered through the groves of towering trees, over the gigantic boulders and logs and past tiny meadows and streams where sunlight forced its way through the tree canopy in vertical rivulets of golden warmth.

It was our last hike in this beautiful place. The last hunt of our first vacation together, and as much as I missed Renesmee, I was a little sad at the prospect of leaving. Edward must have sensed my wistfulness because his tone became optimistic with his next words.

"So when we get home," I could hear his smile in his words, "I think Renesmee has a surprise for you."

I whipped my head away from the scent of elk I had detected to look at Edward brightly. "Really? What kind of surprise?"

"Well now, if I told you that, it wouldn't be a surprise anymore, would it?"

I furrowed my eyebrows grouchily. "Why did you tell me about, then?" I grumped. "You know how I feel about surprises."

Edward laughed and reached over to smooth the line between my eyes. "Yes, I do. But I think you'll like this one."

"I always like them. It's just the not knowing beforehand that I don't like."

He was trying to contain his laughter. "Patience, Bella. She just wants to do something for her mommy." He smiled again.

Edward's use of the word _mommy_ hit a nerve in me. A very happy, deeply embedded, emotional nerve that made up so much of my existence these days. I smiled happily as we walked on and I thought about my little nudger. I missed her horribly and couldn't wait to see her. Edward's attempt to take away my sadness over going home had worked. I was desperate to see her, desperate to hold her warm little body to mine, to feel her tiny hand on my face, to hear her heartbeat and bury my face in her curls. To look at her and know that the love Edward and I shared had created her.

For now, hearing her voice would be enough to get me through until tomorrow night, and I felt more grateful than ever for the phone call Edward had promised.

"What are you thinking?" Edward was looking at me intently, clearly noticing the contented smile on my face and the softness in my eyes. I felt a little pang of regret that he still had to ask that question.

"About Renesmee. About you. About how much I love you both." I smiled.

Edward stopped and pulled me into his arms. "Oh, Bella," he sighed, breathing in the scent of my hair and pulling me tightly against him. "Every day, I think there is no way I could possibly love you any more than the last. But I'm consistently proven wrong." He cradled my face in his hands and kissed me softly. "There are countless ways I could tell you how much I love you."

Something about the way he worded his last comment caught my attention for the briefest of moments, and for a second, I think I meant to ask him about it. But distraction suddenly overtook me in the form of the sweet scent of deer, and both of our eyes widened in recognition.

He released me at once, instructing me with his eyes to go for it. Bella the hunter, the vampire, took over, and I was suddenly plunged into that state of pure reaction, my mental consciousness taking a backseat to my physiological instincts.

I was running hard, navigating my way through the forest with the speed and precision of a missile. I had one aim in mind: the source of that delicious scent, both savory and sweet. The smell was so strong, I could already taste its metallic saltiness in my throat and on my tongue, and the flame that it ignited there sparked my feet to pound harder and faster into the ground.

In the process to get to it, it didn't matter that what I stepped on, how far I ran, or who saw me. It didn't matter when I had last hunted or if I would ever hunt again. All that mattered was _right now._ I _needed_ that blood to extinguish the flames in my throat and my desire this instant, and the faster I ran, the faster that would happen.

I barely even noticed what I was running over and through-- I believe I had just crossed a rather swiftly moving brook-- when I knew I was close. I had come upon another one of the giant boulders in the middle of the forest, its craggy grayness jutting above me like an enormous wall. I knew by the smell and the sound of the heartbeat that my goal lay in wait for me on the other side of this mass of rock. I need simply run a little further and turn left to find it there, with nowhere to turn but up against the sheer rock face. And it wouldn't have even had time to do that.

Two footsteps from bringing my prey into view, I heard it. I heard the fast thrumming of its heartbeat, but I also heard something else. Another heart, this one slightly fainter and less rapid. Oh, so I would have my choice this time. Well, I would take down the stronger one, the one that promised more and faster flowing liquid.

I took the last two steps, and in the span of approximately two seconds, three things happened. First, I saw my prey, its eyes wide and on its feet ready to either flee or fight. Second, I saw, partially hidden behind it and struggling to also flee on little legs, the source of the second tiny heartbeat. And finally, I collapsed.

My surroundings were spinning, and it felt like there was a tornado whirling a dangerous path through my head. I heard arguing voices from the left and right, from forward and back, from upside down and sideways. I was sprawled on the ground trying to make them shut up, to tell them to stop or to at least lower their voices.

My throat was burning, my muscles were twitching with the nearly incontrollable need to spring into action, to start running after what I had just seen and smelled and heard. But one side of the argument in my head was undeniably more articulate and louder than the one that was controlling my muscles. It was screaming at me. _She was a mother._

_Renesmee._ I thought I had needed to see her earlier, but it had been nothing like this. The recent need to put out the flames was replaced by a new need-- one that was one hundred times stronger-- to _see my daughter. I need to see her. I need to see her now._

It all felt perfectly sane and logical inside my head, but to an outsider, I must have appeared a mad woman. I was writhing on the ground, moaning and gripping my hair, the air around me felt unbearably thin and white spots of adrenaline clouded my vision, desperate for an escape from my body.

I felt a mass of black, like a tumor, start to rapidly grow and expand in my stomach. It caused my breath to catch as it made its way up my torso and through my esophagus, my eyes clenching. I waited to feel the familiar pin pricks in the corners of my eyes, the agonizing yet relieving sensation of release as the tumor bubbled over and into my throat, but nothing happened. It just sat there, stagnant.

So this was what it felt like to not be able to cry.

Just when I thought I couldn't take the agony anymore, I felt two masses of warmth on my shoulders and a familiar, bright scent at my side.

"Bella." His soothing voice was like an ointment to my internal wounds. "Bella, Bella, Bella..." he whispered over and over again. His hands may have been rocking me, but it was hard to tell through the shaking happening inside of me.

I couldn't respond, but I begged the angel to keep speaking. To keep saying my name. The more he did so, the more I felt the black tumor inside of me recede and shrink.

Who knows how long I sat there, or what he said. I just let the sound of his voice soak into me until slowly, I regained my senses and was able to finally remove my hands from my chest and open my eyes.

I finally managed to slowly speak, and I wasn't convinced it was actually me. It sounded like someone speaking to me from far away, through a tunnel.

"I think I'm ready to call Renesmee now." And I collapsed into Edward's arms as he sprinted with me through the forest.

*****

_But the Wild is the Wild, and motherhood is motherhood, at all times fiercely protective whether in the Wild or out of it; and the time was to come when the she-wolf, for her gray cub's sake, would venture the left fork, and the lair in the rocks, and the lynx's wrath._

Lying there cradled in Edward's arms, his lips on my hair and his occasional murmurs of comfort at my ear, it hit me. I was both the she-wolf _and _the lynx. Those were the two voices trying to rip each other to shreds in my head. In my case, the she-wolf had won, but only barely.

At last, with Edward's help, their shrieks quieted, the heaviness on my chest lightened, and I opened my eyes to my surroundings.

We were underneath a structure, perhaps a house, but it wasn't _Browning's Abode_. I could tell by the smell of the wood and the distinctly older creaking I heard in the flooring and roofing joists. I could see the dusty floorboards covered in the occasional leaf or pine needle. I focused my attention on one spot where the green paint was faded and chipping away. It seemed to be getting smaller, then bigger, then smaller, then bigger. I realized it wasn't the floor that was moving, but rather, me. A rocking chair.

I was curled up into a tight little ball in Edward's lap, like a child. We had sat like this for an unmeasurable amount of time, but from the way the sunlight slanted into the trees, I could tell it was late afternoon. I finally stirred, nuzzling my head closer into Edward's chest. His lips grazed my hairline, and I sighed at the comforting feel of them there.

He spoke cautiously but with a tinge of relief, as if he had been waiting for me to finally move in a sign that I was coming back to him. "I'm here, love, it's all right." His arms tightened around me. I thought briefly of another time in a rocking chair with Edward-- the one in my old room, the place where I had first told him I loved him.

The sound of his voice awakened and soothed me further, and I made a small, croaky, nondescript utterance, "Nnnmmm," as if to test out my voice.

I felt Edward's chest decompress in a sigh, felt his hand make its way to the side of my face, lightly caressing it. "Oh, Bella. I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

The gentleness of his fingers finally coaxed my face to emerge from the safe harbor of his chest, and I gazed up at him at last. His face looked laced with concern, to say the least-- his eyes clearly having been set into the same distressed position for the past several hours-- but he was beautiful, as always, the image of him now the same soothing ointment on my eyes his voice had been on my ears.

I reached my hand to his cheek, needing to feel what I was seeing. Needing the comfort of a small, familiar action that I performed every day. At my touch, Edward closed his eyes, placed his hand over mine and sighed more deeply. "Are you all right, love?" He opened his eyes to look at me. "Please speak to me. Let me know what you're thinking right now. Please show me." There was a faintly desperate edge to his words, and his eyes seemed to darken as he awaited my response.

I opened my mouth to speak, my fingers resting delicately on my throat. "I'm all right."

He relaxed at once, his face finally falling out of the mask of despair, the breath of his final relieved sigh washing across my face. One more sensory comfort from Edward, it awakened me like smelling salts. I was fully back on Earth now.

"Thank goodness." He kissed me softly. "Bella... about what happened in the forest..."

I took a quick breath and placed my finger over Edward's lips. "No, I... you don't need to say anything, Edward. You've done enough already. I'm okay, really."

He didn't seem appeased, but he nodded slightly. "Well, whenever you want to talk about it..."

I kissed him in reply. "Just feeling you right now is all I need." I laid my hand in the crook of his elbow and rested the back of my head against his chest.

"Um, Edward?"

"Hmm?" He was still rocking me gently, fingering the hem of my shirt with his hand.

"Where are we?"

The question seemed to snap him out of something, and he returned to his normal speaking voice as he sat up straight in the rocking chair. "Oh yeah." He set me down gently on the worn boards of the porch. "This is the caretaker's house, Bella. We're here to make that phone call.... whenever you're ready, that is." We remained touching by keeping our hands intwined.

I stood on my feet for the first time in hours and looked around. _Rustic_ was an understatement. This was a full fledged, authentic mountain cabin. Well, some might even have called it a shack, it was so tiny, but I decided _cabin_ felt less insulting. And looking around, the place did seem to possess a certain charm.

The house was guarded on all sides by-- you guessed it-- giant trees and more forest. Unlike _Browning's Abode,_ it seemed to have been placed smack dab in the middle of the forest with no regard for the best way for it to face, or what location might provide the most picturesque atmosphere or view from the porch. Rather, it was totally random, an out-of-place anomaly that would never be missed if it were suddenly removed. It looked like Dorothy's house after the tornado had landed it in Oz. I was tempted to look underneath it for a pair of red legs.

But, regardless of its haphazard placement, I decided the place did feel like a home. There was a pile of neatly chopped and stacked firewood on the porch to the left, a few potted plants hung from the beams of the roof, and the front door had a fresh coat of blue paint. Other than those few touches, though, it was pretty sparse-- clearly maintained by someone who valued simplicity over appearances.

"Does he live out here all by himself?" I asked.

"Yes. Come on, love, the phone is inside." I stood behind him, hand in his, as he opened the door. But then he hesitated, turning to say, "He's not here. You're okay with the scent, right? It's going to be pretty strong inside."

I had been so emotionally distracted, I had barely even noticed the human smell. But even if I had, it wouldn't have bothered me. Newborn stage was officially over. I nodded quickly. "It's fine, Edward." _Please just get me inside. I need to hear her._

One room was all that greeted us. A real one-room cabin-- my, but this _was _rustic. To the left was a wood burning stove and a small table and chair, topped by a small, wall-mounted shelf that held some old metal dishes and utensils, a thermos, a bag of oats, some canned foods, a flashlight and other random camping supplies. The middle of the room held one moth-eaten, faded and flowery love seat, partially covered in a circle of yellowed, dingy lace. To the right was a creaky-looking, metal-framed twin bed covered with a scratchy military green comforter. But the entire right hand wall-- that was truly the centerpiece of this place. It was littered with countless rifles, bows and arrows, and various hunting equipment. A giant deer buck's head eyed me from the back wall.

I turned to question Edward about this place, about the person who lived here so humbly, but he was walking toward the kitchen area. "The phone is here, love. I'll just ring them up now."

I could hardly believe my eyes when Edward walked to an old fashioned, wall-mounted telephone-- the kind with a separate black earpiece attached by a thin black wire, the base of which contained a few metal pieces on top of a flat piece of walnut. People still actually used those things?

He tapped the lever a few times to get a connection, waiting for the operator to ask him for the number as he ran his hand through his messy hair. I couldn't help admiring the way his t-shirt fit around his bicep as he did this.

Finally, after what seemed like several minutes, Edward started speaking in a familiar tone. "Hey, man!"

"Hey there, bro!" I could hear Emmett's booming voice coming through the receiver, a bit crackly from all the static on the line. "Well, it's about time you called. You two just now make it out of the bedroom?"

"Emmett," Edward warned in a low voice through clenched teeth.

"Okay, okay, I'm just having a little fun, jeeze. So you guys have a good week?"

"Yeah, it's been great. We're ready to get home, though." Edward's tone was a bit clipped. I couldn't tell if he was still surly from Emmett's teasing, or just in a hurry to get him off the line. "Look, Em, is Nessie around? Bella really wants to speak with her."

"Oh yeah, sure, man. I'll go get her. She's playing cards with Jasper. Can you believe she's beaten him at three games of spades already? Hmm... we might have a card shark in the making here... might be fun to take her down to the pool hall when we get home. Make a little extra dough."

"EMMETT!" Edward had lost all of his patience by this point and was gripping the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

"What?? I'd let her keep the money!" Edward growled into the phone. "All right, all right." I heard him move the phone away from his mouth to go fetch Renesmee, but we heard his mutterings to himself as he did so. "Jeeze, you'd think a week of straight sex would make him a _little_ less pissy."

"Daddy!!" The sound of her voice was the final healing ointment to my wounds. I let out a huge breath I didn't realize I had been holding in. Thank _god._

"Hey, beautiful girl." Edward smiled into the phone, and his eyes lit up. "Have you had a nice week with your grandparents and aunts and uncles?"

"Oh yes, Daddy!" She immediately started rambling, the excitement in her voice uncontainable. It was strange and wonderful to hear her talk so much, and I decided that was at least one advantage of talking by phone. "Aunt Alice showed me how to make a wreath for my hair out of flowers, and Rosalie let me paint her fingernails, and Grandma let me draw her portrait, and Uncle Emmett--" she broke off giggling and had trouble getting the words out--"you'll never guess what Uncle Emmett did!"

From the muffled background, Emmett's whiny voice came through. "Hey, Ness, I thought we agreed to keep that a secret!"

She lowered her voice, probably cupping her hand around the mouthpiece, but we both knew there was no way Emmett couldn't hear. "He put on my pink tutu and tiara and performed Swan Lake for me!"

By now, Edward was laughing so hard, he was clutching his stomach, all traces of his irritation gone.

"You tell Uncle Emmett I expect an encore performance," he managed to gasp out through his laughter. I was laughing right along with him, and our eyes connected as our bodies shook. When it finally died down, his face became serious again.

"Ness, would you like to speak to Mommy? She misses you an awful lot."

"Mommy, Mommy!" And I couldn't restrain myself anymore. I raced to the phone and snatched the earpiece out of Edward's hands, mouthing _"Sorry"_ to him as I put it to my ear.

"Nessie," I breathed in relief into the phone.

"Hi, Mommy! I miss you."

There were the pin pricks in my eyes again. "Oh sweetie, I miss you, too.

"Did you and Daddy have a good time?"

I looked up at Edward and smiled. "Oh, yes. We went hiking and to the beach, and right now we're in a neat old cabin, and guess where we're staying? In a _tree house."_

"Coooooool," she crooned.

I smiled. "Yes, it's _very _cool. And your grandpa owns it. I'm sure you'll be able to go there some day."

"I hope so, Mommy. I want to go there with you."

I spoke softly, "I would love that."

"When are you coming home? We're leaving early tomorrow morning." She sounded so grown up all of a sudden.

"So are we. We should be there when you get there, sweetie. Our drive was a little shorter than yours."

"Good. I can't wait to see you."

"Me, either." And then she broke off, talking to someone. "Um, Mommy, I think I have to go. Aunt Alice wants to talk to you, and Uncle Jasper wants to play more cards."

She seemed to be taking her requested presence for cards very seriously, and it made me giggle in response. "Okay, Nessie. See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow, Mommy! Bye!"

"Hi, Bella!" Alice. Her feminine, bell-like voice was beautiful, and I suddenly felt very energized.

"Hi, Alice. How's it going?"

"Great! It's been a good week. Although, I _still_ am not impressed with this camping thing. I need to see my closet, _stat._ Jasper only let me bring five suitcases, and I've completely run out of choices for outfits."

I laughed. "Maybe you wouldn't have that problem, Alice, if you didn't change clothes eight times a day. Speaking of clothes... I got your little note, and the 'bathing suit' that came with it." I was referring to the skimpy black suit Alice had sneakily stowed into my luggage, relying on Edward's help to remove the conservative one I had packed.

"And I was right, wasn't I?" she chirped. "Edward loved it!"

Well, truthfully, it hadn't stayed on me long enough for him to give a proper assessment. But technically, yeah, you could say he loved it. "Mm," I murmured in concordance. I didn't want it to go to her head too much.

"Well, I think I need to go work on packing everything up. See you tomorrow night, Bella!"

"See ya, Alice." The line disconnected and I hung up.

I breathed a final contented sigh and looked at Edward. He was leaning with his arms crossed against the door frame, staring at me intently.

I suddenly felt a little embarrassed and stared at the splintered floor. "Um, I'm feeling a lot better now."

"I'm really glad," he smiled crookedly, uncrossing his arms and pushing off the wall to walk toward me. "You ready to head back?"

"Yes, I think so." I took his hand and moved closely to kiss him. "Thank you, Edward. For the phone call... for... everything."

Edward returned my kiss and rubbed soothing circles on my back. "I love you," he said simply.

Just as we were making our way out the door, something on a small side table I hadn't noticed before caught my eye. It was an old, weathered wooden picture frame, small and square. Inside was a black and white photo-- it looked at least fifty years old-- of a little girl in a pinafore dress, black mary jane shoes and curly brown pigtails. She stood in the middle of a gravel road and smiled a toothy grin as she held a stack of books secured with an old fashioned leather strap. There was something about her, a light that glowed in her face, even now, through this impossibly old and worn photo, that kept my eyes glued to her.

The photo was such a warm human element to the drabness of the cabin that I was suddenly enraptured to know more.

"Edward? Do you know much about this caretaker? Who's this little girl?"

Edward pursed his lips and played with a strand of my hair. "It's his daughter."

"Well, where is she now? What happened to her?"

Edward took both of my hands in his, pulling me closer, his eyes remaining interested in my hair. "She died. A long time ago."

I inwardly winced. "Edward," I asked slowly, "what's up with this caretaker? I want to know."

He sighed. "It's a sad story, Bella. Are you sure you want to hear it?"

I just looked at him with raised eyebrows.

He sighed again. "Okay, let's go back to the porch and watch the sunset, then, while I tell it."

We returned to the porch and the rocking chair, and I crawled into his lap as I had done earlier, this time allowing my legs to fall over the side. He kissed my head and took my left hand, placing his fingers over my wedding ring before beginning to speak.

"His name is Everett James, and he's been living in this cabin alone for the last sixty years. He's been caretaker for Carlisle's house for longer than that, obviously, since the twenties, right after Esme was turned. Carlisle originally hired his father, and Everett helped out as a small boy. They were a poor family of sharecroppers, but they were good, decent people. After Everett's father died, he became the man of the house, taking over for his father in making ends meet. From the ages of fourteen to eighteen, Everett did okay for his family. He picked up where his father left off. It was long, tiresome, dirty work, plowing fields, doing general carpentry, occasionally running the saw mill.

"The only person who had ever given Everett any trouble growing up was Nigel Barker. The Barkers were the rich family who employed Everett's family. They lived in a big white house up on a hill, and they owned the land around it for acres. Nigel had everything he could have ever wanted or needed, but he was a bored, mean, spiteful boy whose parents didn't pay enough attention to him. He regularly played tricks on Everett, getting him in trouble with his father or doing something cruel to ruin his work and make him have to do it over again. As the boys got older, rather than growing out of it, Nigel's pranks got even crueler and more bothersome. He caused a lot of trouble for Everett.

"One day, soon after Everett had turned eighteen, a new family of sharecroppers moved into town. They had a daughter named Clarissa, and the second Everett saw her, he knew his life had been changed forever. He was head over heels in love."

Edward stopped speaking for a moment and brushed a tendril of hair behind my ear, smiling at me.

"Eventually, Everett began courting Clarissa, and several months later, they were engaged to be married. He was happier than he could have ever thought possible. But little did he know that Nigel was quietly seething and plotting. He wasn't in love with Clarissa, not in the least, but the jealousy he felt that Everett had something that made him happy overtook him. He made it his goal to destroy Everett's chance at happiness.

"He went to Clarissa and told her that if she didn't dump Everett and agree to marry him, he would convince his father to fire her father and evict them from their home. Not only that, but he would use his influence to make it so that they never got work anywhere in the country again. He would ruin them.

"What could Clarissa do? She loved Everett with her entire heart and soul, but she had been blackmailed. She couldn't allow that to happen to her family. So she agreed to marry Nigel.

"Everett was inconsolable. He didn't work or sleep for days. He just stayed in a hay stack in a barn, totally lost in his despair. One night, Clarissa snuck out and went to Everett in the barn. She explained everything to him. She told him she had to marry Nigel for now, but somehow, some way, she would find a way out of the marriage. They spent one amazing night together, consummating their love and making their enduring promise to each other.

"Clarissa married Nigel the next week and gave birth to a baby girl, Lila, nine months later. Five years passed, and Nigel did everything in his power to keep Clarissa and Everett away from one another. Nigel was physically and verbally abusive, keeping her locked up indoors for days, sometimes months, at a time. He was abusive toward Everett, too, paying him less and less each year. Complaining about the quality of his work and refusing to pay him for it, even though he was the best farmer for a hundred miles around. Thus, Everett and Clarissa suffered in silence, never speaking, hardly even catching glimpses of each other. But the flame of their love burned on, their promises held true through the pain of being ripped apart for so long.

"Lila was a beautiful, spritely little girl. She was the only source of joy for Clarissa during those years. She looked just like her mother, except for one thing-- her eyes, which were a piercing ice blue. Strange, considering both Clarissa and Nigel had brown eyes.

"One day, a farmhand came to the Barker house with a personal letter for Nigel. Being a poor man, he didn't have enough money for an envelope-- it was a stretch to even scrounge together pen and paper. He handed it to Clarissa loosely folded in half and asked her to give it to Nigel. When she reached to take it from him, the letter fell open and she noticed her name scrawled there. She pretended not to notice until the farmhand left, but when he did, she read the letter.

"Nigel had grown tired of the farmhand, claiming he was getting too old for the work. He had threatened to fire him unless he could bring in help of his own. The man was old and family-less. He had nowhere to go and no one to turn to. If Nigel evicted him, his life would be over.

"His only choice was to provide some information he thought would be of interest to Nigel. Perhaps at hearing it, he would show mercy for the favor. He told of a night five years prior, when he had been tending to the horses in the barn. He heard talking and laughter from the hay loft. When he slowly and noiselessly climbed the ladder, he saw Clarissa and Everett there, only a few days before her and Nigel's wedding.

"Clarissa was in a panic. She knew that when Nigel read this, he would be furious-- possibly angrier and more violent than he had ever been. He had never hurt Lila before, but if he had reason to believe she wasn't his own daughter, she had no idea what he would do.

"While Nigel was away at a fancy dinner with some of his rich family friends, she frantically packed a few suitcases and prepared Lila to flee. She had managed to save a little money for herself and called a car to come get them and take them to the train station. The car arrived an hour later, and Clarissa and Lila hastily got in.

"The train station was a good thirty miles away. Unfortunately, cars were rather unreliable in those days, their radiators regularly overheating, or developing oil leaks. About halfway to the station, the car sputtered to a stop, and the driver got out to fix it. He consolingly told her it was going to take a while. As the minutes ticked by, Clarissa started to panic more and more.

"Eventually, Nigel returned home from his dinner. When he found the house empty, he was immediately angry. He found the letter on the hall table, and he instantly deduced where Clarissa had gone. He was in his car immediately, speeding down the road toward the train station.

"The driver had finally gotten the car working again and they were driving along when Nigel's car came up behind them like a maniac, honking his horn and trying to run them off the road. He had a gun with him that he flashed to the driver. His eyes were wild, his hair was everywhere. They were terrified.

"There's a big curve in the road with a very tiny bridge that spans across a small river. When they reached the curve, Nigel was right up alongside the car, ramming into it with sharp jerks of his wheel. By the time they reached the bidge, it was too late. Nigel jerked his car into theirs one last time, sending them soaring off the road and into the river as he sailed smoothly across the bridge."

I gasped.

"The driver survived, managing to climb out, but both Clarissa and Lila were killed."

I buried my head into Edward's chest, feeling like I wanted to cry again-- but couldn't-- for the third time today. I thought again longingly of Renesmee, and he kissed my forehead tenderly and lowered his voice a little.

"Fortunately, not even Nigel's father's influence was enough to keep him out of jail for second degree murder. He was convicted to thirty years after a highly publicized trial, and he died in jail of cancer fifteen years later.

"But Everett didn't really care what happened to Nigel. The pain of losing his wife and daughter-- the daughter who he never even met-- was so great that he checked out of society. He took up residence in this cabin, and he's stayed here ever since, hunting and living off the land. That's where he is right now, in fact-- on a three-day hunting trip.

"He's a great caretaker but he doesn't like people at all. The one time they met, though, he saw something gentle in Carlisle that made him open up and tell his story. He told him that the only thing he could count on, the only thing that wasn't prone to evil, jealousy, whim or hate, was nature. The realities of nature can at times be harsh, but one thing is certain-- they are always constant, they are never vengeful, and they are respectful. They are governed by just laws that humans seem incapable of enforcing for themselves."

I squeezed Edward's hand as I thought about the deer and her fawn, the one I had come so close to killing today. Suddenly, I didn't feel guilty anymore.

"It certainly presents a poignant perspective, doesn't it?" Edward mused. "It begs the question: Which is the crueler situation-- the harsh sacrifices of nature, or the evil whims of man?"

It was in this moment that I knew, with complete certainty, that Edward truly was finally at peace with who and what he was. Perhaps since meeting me, through discovering the love he was capable of, his self-torture had ceased. His outlook had shifted, from one of self-loathing and guilt, to one of acceptance and a calm contentment in knowing that a creature with the capacity to hold so much love can't possibly be evil.

The sun was performing its grand finale now, casting splashes of fiery color across the sky, and as I watched its brilliant display, I sat there in Edward's arms thinking all of this over. His words had stirred something in me that made me realize I could learn from what Edward knew, had spent decades trying to learn.

Perhaps what Edward now knew was that no matter what chance at life we are each dealt, no matter our circumstances, the most we can ask of ourselves is to try to be good. To seek beauty and truth and decency in every action we can control, and to forgive ourselves for the ones we can't. And perhaps, in the trying is where we find our redemption. Where we find our peace.

And Edward's way of trying was by loving me. I could see it in his flickering, warm-tinged eyes as he stared at me beneath the orange sky. The twilight was casting long shadows across the porch that slanted at deep angles across the floorboards. I thought of every sunset and sunrise Edward and I had shared together for the past week-- how beautiful he always looked in the light, his features so defined and his eyes so bottomless-- and they all converged into this one final moment.

I looked at Edward and saw the beginning, the middle, and... eternity. I looked at him and saw my goodness reflecting back at me in his eyes. In this moment, I was trying. I was loving him. I was redeemed. And I found my peace.

*****

It had been a difficult day. Through all of my emotional turmoil, it felt as though I had never really gotten a chance to just _be _with Edward, and suddenly, I panicked that I had squandered the time, wasted my final opportunity. It was our last day of our vacation together, and I suddenly felt the need in a strong surge of all-consumption. I squeezed his hand tightly as we raced through the forest together.

On the way back to the house-- right after picking a daisy and placing it next to Lila's photo-- I had hunted. Elk, this time, and I was feeling much better about everything. And much less thirsty.

Now all I wanted to do was get Edward home. I needed to just feel him, to wrap myself up in him, to surrender everything to him completely and float in the blissful feeling. Edward had managed to make every day here special in some way-- his detailed plans taking us to the beach; dancing in the room he decorated for Esme; making me feel like a princess in a fairy tale castle.

But secretly, I hoped Edward would be content to just let the evening unfold simply tonight. As much as the romantic images of him in a tuxedo or dripping wet from the rain did for my fantasies, just being able to touch him was all I wanted. To feel him with my hands and my lips, to hear his breath against my ear, to touch his cheek. Simple, comforting gestures of affection.

When we returned to the house, we spent several minutes in silence, packing our bags in our bedroom. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, but it was heavy with a thickness. The subtext of our thoughts floated between us as we sidled past each other in the closet to retrieve our things, occasionally meeting for a slow, meaningful kiss. Edward pulled back to look at me and stroke my cheek, unsmiling, each time.

I was packing up my things from the vanity when I noticed the drawer was half open. A curled corner of the weathered copy of _Sonnets from the Portuguese--_the book of Esme and Carlisle's I had found several days ago in the storage turret-- peeked out. I was suddenly reminded of my promise to myself to return it before we left.

"Um, Edward." He peeked up at me, hovering over his suitcase, through a messy bronze lock. "I need to go do something really quickly. I'll be back in just a sec." I held the book behind my back.

He pursed his lips at first, but then gave me a small smile, whispering, "Hurry back."

"Of course," I grinned.

I wasn't gone all that long. I did take my time returning the book, not wanting to rustle any of the other items in the box out of order. But it was apparently long enough for Edward to finish packing and leave our bedroom.

Because when I rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs to step into the living room, he was there.

I saw his shadow first, casting its elongated, fluid darkness against the wall that faced me. I saw the strangely contorted outline of his messy hair, the way his broad shoulders narrowed to his firm waist.

There was a rapidly blazing fire going in the stone hearth. I heard the movements of the flames as the wood they burned through crackled and popped under the force of the heat. I saw the tongues of orange as they licked their way around the kindling and up the sides of the stone walls.

He was standing directly in front of it, arms stretched out in front of him and his hands placed on the mantle. I noticed the way the light of the flames blanketed their way across the contours of the muscles in his long arms, the way they smoldered across his chest and stomach.

I noticed all of this because Edward had removed his shirt. He was standing there in nothing but his low slung, slightly loose jeans. He had removed his belt, and the waistband hugged for dear life to his hips, threatening to slip with one swipe of a fingertip.

The moment I stepped into the room, he stood fully erect, moving his hands away from the mantle and running one through his hair.

I raised an eyebrow at him and he shrugged a shoulder. "I thought it would be nice to make use of the fireplace." When my eyes raked over his naked torso, he caught the second half of my silent question. "Oh, and well, I just like the warmth." He gestured toward the dancing flames.

I slowly walked toward him, around the couch and onto the wooly, white berber rug he was standing on. Other than the smoky light from the fire, we were completely enshrouded in darkness tonight; it was a new moon. The forest, too, seemed particularly silent, without the usual sounds of buzzing cicadas and rustling birds.

"But... now that you're here, I think I've found a better source of warmth." When he looked at me, his eyes were black again.

It is difficult to qualify, to summarize in few words, the moment when you stare at the person to whom you have welded your soul and you know you are going to make love to him. Sometimes, it strikes you suddenly and urgently, and you don't think about it at all-- you just move forward with the enjoyable feeling with no pretense, no plan. But at other times, you instinctually know that you are about to fulfill something that has been building for hours, perhaps days. You know it, and he knows it, and you share in the moment as you look at each other.

The feeling strikes you so forcefully and from so many fronts that you don't know what to make sense of first. The anticipation of the actions to come might cause your breath to turn shallow, your muscles to tighten, your mouth to water. Or you might be so caught up in what you are thinking that you consciously ignore the physical while it is happening. You might focus simply on the thoughts running through your head-- thoughts like, _This man is half of me. _You might clutch at your chest as you feel the path between your head and your heart vibrating and glowing like a neon sign.

You might think any number of these things, as each moment builds on the last, growing stronger and tenser with each passing second. By this time, your body might be so sensitive that your fingertips literally buzz with electricity, random patches of your skin tingle, and your stomach feels like a knotted rope being pulled taut.

And just when you think you can't contain all if this within your body any longer, your husband might start to speak.

"Bella." His voice was barely audible over the sounds of the fire, his lips barely moving. If I had thought he looked beautiful standing there shirtless in the firelight, the dulcet sound of his voice saying my name almost knocked me off my feet. Edward started to walk closer to me, and the buzz in my fingertips turned almost painful.

But in the moment when I had looked at him and known this was going to happen, I had instructed myself that it was important not to rush this. So I didn't do what I most wanted. I _didn't _frantically run my hands across the tight muscles of his chest. I _didn't _rush my fingers harshly into his hair. I _didn't _rip his pants from his body in one movement. I _didn't _beg him to speak my name again.

Instead, I just placed my hands in his and took a steadying breath. Edward's calming breath washed across me as he parted his lips to speak again. "I need you."

The calming effects of his breath were instantly negated. If the evening had progressed in the same silence, if I'd only had my trembling body to contend with, I probably could have made it. But at the sound of not only Edward's angelic voice, but also the meaning behind his words, I was done for. I was tired of taking things slow.

My hands gripped his naked waist, pulling his fire-warmed body into me, and I kissed him, kissed him with all my might.

Edward moaned, and the sound only spurred on my eagerness. I pressed my lips hard into his mouth, relishing the release of some of the electricity from my body into his. _Thank_ _god, _my body screamed. Thank _god_ I was touching him and finally getting what I needed. The relief was staggering.

But I suddenly felt Edward's kisses, at first so willing to match my enthusiasm, slow and lighten, eventually pulling away. I whimpered at the loss, my eyes still closed and my lips pursed in wait, and I heard Edward's light chuckle.

I opened one eye to find him staring back at me, his hair impossibly messier than before, his eyes twinkling like stars on this moonless night.

"I want to take it slow, love. Please, may we take it slow? It's been such a hard day. Let's end it tenderly."

Anything he wanted. _Just keep speaking to me_ _in that beautiful voice._ I nodded and waited for Edward's next move.

He moved in closely again, placing his hands on the tops of my shoulders, nuzzling my neck with his nose before lightly kissing it. My eyes fluttered at the sensation of the fireworks he sparked there. I felt their effects fizzle up and down my body like Fourth of July sparklers.

My hands were rubbing circles in the soft skin at the dip of Edward's lower back, right above his ass. They itched to descend lower, to explore the tight muscles there. Tentatively, I slipped my right hand underneath the fabric.

Edward moaned just as our lips met. He pulled back from the kiss to warn me, "Be good."

I groaned at the old admonishment and returned my hand to his back. Again, I was grateful to hear him speak, even if was only two short words, but also frustrated by the slowness.

Edward was focusing his attention on the strap of my tank top, nudging it out of the way with his nose at first, and then eventually giving up and biting completely through it with his teeth. As he made his way across my chest to do the same to the opposite strap, he placed teasing little nibbles on the fullest part of my breast. He circled the perimeter three times, slowly, and then reversed the direction, ending with his lips kissing my nipple through the thin fabric of my shirt and bra.

By now, my breathing had somehow grown deeper and shallower at the same time. I was taking in short, stuttered pants through my nose, breathing in the heady scent of his hair as it tickled its way across the increasingly bare parts of my body.

When Edward finally made his way to the other strap, he started speaking again, and I nearly moaned at the sound.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you, Bella?" His breath was cool on my neck, in comparison to my body, which was now heated from both the fire and the effect he was having on me. I tightened my lips in a silent moan when I felt his hand tug gently at my hair.

I opened my eyes in an effort to respond coherently, but I was greeted by the visual of his perfect bare chest, up close and personal, and I couldn't speak.

"Will you let me show you? Right now?" He ripped through my tank top and it fell to the floor. I could instantly feel the heat of the fire on my stomach. "Will you let me tell you all the ways you are perfect for me?"

_God, _if he kept talking to me like this, I didn't know if I could control myself. At the same time, I didn't know what I would do if he stopped.

Still, I could not respond. It was all I could do to stay standing, to keep from completely melting into the flames of the fire growing inside me-- a thousand times hotter than the one glowing beside our half-naked bodies.

"Shall I count them?" He placed his hands on my waist and began walking me backwards, until my legs hit the back of the fluffy white couch. When we stopped, Edward looked deep into my eyes, and his voice lowered to a gruff whisper. "Shall I make love to you until you feel them, deep inside?"

"Oohhh, Edward." I glued myself to him, throwing all abandon into the fire. My leg hitched around his hip, my hands reached past his neck and into his hair, and then frantically back down to the bare skin of his back, his chest, his waist. I wanted to be everywhere at once. On top of him, around him, below him, inside of him. The aching of the urge was almost unbearable.

We toppled onto the couch, legs and arms in a giant, writhing, heated tangle. The way Edward's lips attacked me now, so frantic and desperate as they inched their way down my body, made me believe the talking was over.

But he kept going. "Let me count the ways," he murmured, the sound vibrating against my bare stomach. "I love thee to the depth," his hand made its way to my inner thigh, "and breadth," it inched ever closer to my heated center, "and height." On the last word, I felt Edward's fingers press against me in forceful, dexterous manipulations through my jeans. The thrust of his hand was so strong he nearly pierced the fabric straight through with his finger. He finished the couplet, "My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight, for the ends of being and ideal grace."

I was writhing now against the couch, my back arching up toward him and my legs spreading to their maximum width to encourage his ministrations. He deftly peeled my jeans off of me in a flash, stripping me down to nothing but my pink panties and bra. Edward's eyes roamed the length of my body on the couch before returning them to my own, and when I saw the depth there, my lips parted in silent awe.

He spoke quieter this time, his eyes never leaving mine as he kissed my hand, kneeling on the floor next to the couch. "I love thee to the level of everyday's most quiet need, by sun and candlelight." The flames flickered against his perfect face.

I pulled Edward toward me, begging to feel him on top of me now. My every cell was heightened to maximum sensation and needed to feel him in every way possible.

"I love thee freely, as men strive for right." Edward ripped my bra from my body at once, and I relished in the feeling of my bare breasts against his chest, my nipples hardening further at the sensation.

"I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise." In the same amount of time, my panties were gone, and in their place, I felt Edward's fingers, finally finding what they had sought through my jeans.

"I love thee with a passion put to use in my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith." His lips were all over my body now, reddened from constant kissing, his tongue darting out at my belly button, my inner thigh, my collar bone. Somehow, he managed to remove his jeans while never removing his lips from my body, and I nearly hissed at the sudden hardness of his length pressed against me through his boxer shorts.

"I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints." My fingers hooked into the waistband of his shorts, desperate now to remove them, to just make them go away. He helped me to swiftly roll them off, and finally, there were no barriers between Edward and me. Just body-to-body, soul-to-soul. I nearly trembled at the all-consuming feeling of the moment.

Edward grasped my hips and situated himself over me fully and gently, looking one last time into my eyes before speaking and slipping inside of me. "I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears of all my life!" He was gazing down at me blissfully, his body rocking into mine in fluid waves and undulations.

Finally. This was the moment I had anticipated from that first shared knowing look, from perhaps the first moment we had arrived here one week ago. A thousand thoughts flashed through my head with each increasingly pleasurable thrust of Edward's hips. Mostly I saw snapshot images of Edward at his most happy-- our wedding day, the first day I told him I loved him, numerous occasions from the previous week. They were all framed by the beautiful face in my sight now, half-shadowed and gaze glued to mine.

His head was bent over me and his copper hair was dangling in the space between our faces. I raised a hand to touch it, continuing my fingers to his face. Edward's eyes closed at the feeling, his dark, long eyelashes casting shadows against the perfect angles of his cheekbones. He was moving rhythmically but also with an urgency and a needfulness in his hips that tapped into the deepest parts of me. I was nearly moaning at every coming together of our bodies, each passing moment of retraction causing the next connection to feel more desperate and necessary.

My body was growing greedier and hungrier with every passing second. Greedy for more-- more of Edward inside of me, more of his hands on my breasts, more of his fingertips in my mouth or lightly rubbing the sensitive skin above where our bodies met. I just couldn't get enough, and I pressed myself to him with alacrity and a nearly unquenchable yearning.

I was beside myself, completely and utterly worked into an ultimate frenzy at every titillating sensation I felt-- physical, mental and emotional. Ten thousand universes would not be enough to contain the amount of love I felt for Edward in this moment. Time stopped and stood still completely and the only thing that mattered-- the only thing that ever had or ever would-- was we two. Here. Together. For eternity.

I felt the epiphany of my thoughts, the swelling of my heart and the surging of my body all at once when Edward completed the poem in a final, beautiful breath. "And, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death."

My eyes closed tightly, my head arched back and I bit my lip as I rode the simultaneous waves of his words and the explosion happening inside my body to their full completion.

When I opened them, I was panting, feeling like I should be sweating, gripping the fabric of the couch with one hand and the top of Edward's arm with the other. He was still staring at me intently, rocking gently into me, and whispering just barely loudly enough for me to hear. "I love you, I love you, I will love you for eternity."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, our lips grasping and conforming to each other's with a still-heightened haste. His hand was running down my thigh, tightening my leg further around his body, and I realized... he hadn't experienced the explosion with me. I felt the same urgency of his body as before consuming and filling mine.

Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with an urge almost more powerful than the one I had felt moments earlier. "Edward." His face was in my neck, kissing it tenderly as he continued to explore me deeper and deeper.

"Mmm?"

"Edward, please..." I reached my neck around to look at him and tried to push him off of me. "I want to show _you_ now."

EPOV

I was confused at first, a rare predicament. In all the times we had made love, Bella had never pushed me away from her. Had I done something wrong? Had I been misguided in my lustful actions? I had been so taken with her this evening-- her beauty by the firelight, the emotion of the day culminating in the most intense physical sensations I had felt since our wedding night. I had purposely withheld my release in favor of watching her, the intense pleasure etched across every line and shadow of her beautiful face. It took all of my strength not to let the vision overtake me and plunge me into my own nirvana at witnessing her pleasure, amplified by the knowledge that I was giving it to her. But I had held back, and her splendid release having wracked her body and nearly sending me over the edge myself, I couldn't contain my zeal any longer. Perhaps I had finally crossed the line. Perhaps I had made her uncomfortable in some way. I mentally scolded myself.

But quickly I realized she wasn't pushing me away, simply re-situating me so that I sat upright on the couch. I watched her in slight puzzlement as she stood to walk in front of me, the delicately feminine contours of her body silhouetted by the firelight directly behind her.

Bella. She was so beautiful. She was _mine_. Every day, I still marveled at the fact, still loved her impossibly more than the day before. She consistently charmed me with her outlook on life, her adversity to surprises, her unexpected actions and words. She was strong. She was protective of those she loved. She was the mother of my child.

She stood before me, her shapely hips at my eye level, her raven black hair skimming over her breasts. Her beautiful eyes-- almost every trace of red now gone-- stared into mine, and I waited. I was still confused. She was doing it again-- keeping me guessing at what to expect. And I was thrilled.

Bella slowly lowered one perfect knee to the rug, and then the other, the readjustment of her shadow causing the light from the fire to bring my torso into better illumination. When she placed her hands on my waist, my stomach tightened at her touch. She hesitated, a small smile on her red, plump lips.

I tilted my head, suspicion now darkening my gaze. Wait... she wasn't planning on...? _Was _she?

My breath caught, but I somehow managed to speak. "Bella, what are you doing?" I asked slowly.

Her smile broadened, just slightly. Her irresistible eyes flitted down to my waist, then... lower. Oh _god._ I clenched my fists and swallowed hard. "Please, Edward." I watched her mouth as she barely whispered the words. Her small tongue barely escaped her lips for a moment before she spoke her next sentence, and I felt my body tighten again... in an area much lower than my stomach this time.

"Please," she whispered again, this time bringing her mouth to my stomach, her hands lightly gripping my hips. "Let me show you how much I love you." She was begging me, and my cringing almost matched my arousal. She should _never_ have to beg me for anything. The vibrations of her mumbled words against my stomach coursed their way through my body in every direction. She kissed her way to the very bottom of my lower stomach, right above the apex of my most sensitive area, and then, looking up at me with those bright eyes and the sexiest expression I had ever seen on her face, she said, "I apologize if I'm not able to use words."

There was a war going on inside of me. On one hand, my body was crying out-- had been crying out for this since the first moment she suggested it almost a week ago. Naturally, I had experienced fantasies of Bella doing this to me before-- had been experiencing them for a long time, since she first awakened my human instincts in me.

But on the other hand, my head was screaming at me that something about this was wrong. She was too beautiful, too perfect, I worshipped her too much for her to be crouched on her knees in front of me like some... some... loose woman.

And she had been through too much today, of all days. It had been excruciating. I had watched helplessly as Bella had wrestled with a disturbing physical aspect of her existence, an existence she had chosen because of _me._ The guilt was nearly overwhelming as I held her and rocked her as she shed her dry tears. It was so painful to watch that my silent heart had nearly split in two.

But I knew that expressing my guilt to her would only add to her own. And so, I simply did what I knew how to do: I loved her. I held her, loved her and... I turned to Carlisle. At first, I was nervous that the caretaker's story would only serve to upset her. But I thought about what Carlisle would have done. He would have told her the story as a way to illustrate an example, a way to ease her guilt through the insight of the perspective. There was a time when he would have done it for me. And so I did it for her.

I had told her the story hoping to make her realize, to understand, that it wasn't wrong of her to deny her nature. It was something it had taken meeting her for me to fully realize myself, but it was true. We weren't inherently bad, and nature understood our position. The far worse crimes were what people often did to each other.

She was still kneeling before me, begging for silent permission. I realized I wasn't breathing. I finally exhaled and spoke at the same time. "Bella... I _want _you to. _Oh _how I want you to. But I don't know if I can let..."

She was up off of her knees now, her hair grazing my arms and her face drawing close to mine. She kissed me gently and spoke only inches from my face. A look of intense concentration settled over her features as she locked my gaze with hers. Neither of us moved.

I was catapulted. Catapulted into the most intense swirl of emotions, colors and images I had ever felt in anyone's mind. I saw them flash by almost too quickly for even me to keep up with, rapid-fire and coming from every direction, in every color of the spectrum.

It was Bella's mind like I had never seen it before, like she had never let me in. I saw it all. I saw her before she knew me, every childhood game, injury and pleasure. Every adolescent pain and silly whim. Every frustration with her parents, her teachers, every book she had ever read.

And I saw myself. I saw it from the very beginning, the very first day when I had nearly killed her, the day I had saved her from the van, the first day in the meadow. And more recently-- our wedding, the day she gave birth to Renesmee and I turned her, the day we arrived at _Browning's Abode_.

I saw her goodness. I saw, tenfold this time, the pain and heartbreak she had been through today. It was the worst pain I had felt for Bella since the day I turned her and before that, since I had gotten a glimpse of the pain I had caused her when I left. When she had seen the deer and her fawn, it was more than just her maternal instincts that had taken over, causing thoughts of our daughter to bring her to her knees. Seeing into the love she held for our shared creation caused my heart to swell, but it was more than that. It was not simply the goodness of the mother in her that I loved-- it was the human.

I saw it all, but I saw it the way she saw me. Pure, intense love. Love that existed free of the complications of expectation or impure motives. Love that was timeless, boundless, generous and eternal. Love that was in the giving and not the getting. Love for love's sake.

Of course her reading of Browning's poetry had not escaped my notice; she hadn't done a very good job of hiding it. I had memorized the poems long ago, but when it caught my attention that she was taking interest in them, I was intrigued. She must have been reading them and thinking of us. Another gift by example from Esme and Carlisle. I would have to find another way to thank them.

The beauty of Bella's goodness struck me to the core. Long ago, she had awakened the human in me and even now, after becoming like me, she was still doing it. I was still in constant disbelief at her humanness, at her ability to control her primal urges with her rational thoughts. I knew my constant questioning and worrying over her comfort was annoying her, and I knew what her response would be every time I asked-- that no, she was somehow miraculously not enduring the newborn urges with the standard intensity-- but I compulsively asked every time, in awe and incredulity.

I was sure, from her words, that she regarded what she had wrestled with today as silly or tame. Tame in comparison with what the rest of us had been through, and so she hadn't wanted to discuss it. She must have felt regret at admitting that she felt such shame over something that the rest of us considered model behavior. She was feeling a war going on inside of her, a war between what she felt the physical urge to do and the mental compulsion to withhold.

It was then I realized: I had been all wrong. I had failed to see the hypocrisy in my own lesson. I had spent all day encouraging her not to deny her vampire instincts, while disallowing each of us from fully taking pleasure in our human ones.

Looking at it through her eyes, it wasn't filthy or selfish. It was natural. Perfect. Bella.

She was my sanctity, my refuge, my retreat. She had been waiting for the fount of love that bubbled inside of her so intensely to overflow into me, to drench me in its warmth, to take from her and be gracious in the acceptance.

"Oh, Bella."

"Do you see now, Edward? Do you understand?" She laced her fingers into mine, and the smile that broke across my face was inevitable.

"Yes, love," I whispered in return. "Oh, yes."

Bella's smile matched my own in its brilliancy, and I sighed.

The fire crackled. The light flickered. She drew me into the fount of her warmth, and I was home.


End file.
